Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

I'm looking through my photos and I found one of my SO and I. I'm now thinking about how obsessed with him I am. I wanna see you and your man! Go! 😊

Bump pic. 14 weeks 2 days ! I'm showing alot earlier with my boy than I did with my girl !excuse the background, I'm at work, im a painter, and one of my workers said boss you're getting pudgy !! 😋😋 so I had to go take a look in the mirror!

I am FREAKING out. I told my therapist I smoke marijuana to help with morning sickness, and she reported me to her supervisor. They referred me to their drug clinic on the 11th, and I'm so nervous because when they drug test me and if it's positive, I already have an ACS case and they will report me to my worker. My friend suggested Niacin, 500mg twice a day for two weeks, but I'm nervous if it's safe for the baby. I'm going to drink a gallon of water a day and try to ingest vinegar....ladies I'...