My sons dad ? This is gonna be all over the place cos I'm ranting right now! My son is 8 his dads…

To me I feel like he wants me to be the one to stop contact so he don't look like the bad guy! But I won't do that till Rhys tells me I don't wanna go! When ever I ask him if he wants to go to his dads he always says yes so don't know why his dad's convinced he doesn't! I told him dad that I would ask Rhys if wants to see him not force him to as he doesn't bother enough an Rhys always wants to go! They don't have a great bond tbh his dad knows nothing about him. Doesn't know his school name, about his ADHD and odd ect.. he's never been to any appointments or school things litterally nothing! So for me it's no big deal if he ever saw him again but for Rhys it is he will ask randomly after a few weeks or months can he call him or see him. But it should be his dad calling and asking! I've told him he needs set days or what ever he says he can't cos of work! X

You tell him to man up and be a parent to his child!

No one calls YOU to remind you to collect your kids from school or to stop at the shops to get their dinner in. No one reminds you they need help with homework or any other parental responsibilities. You just do it, because you know your a parent and it's your job to do it.

He's in the army so he damn well understands about duty and responsibility, he's just taking the 'P' and being childish. Tell him to fix up or your done. He's using your love for your son against you, because he knows you want him to know his father, he's got you doing all the work.

ETA: As if people in the army don't have families and kids. The army's all about family and family values. He can make time, he just doesn't want to, and he can't even be honest about it smh ?

This morning I've had loads of crap again how it was my choice to basically have him and if he's gonna be paying for him for the rest of his life then he may aswell see him!!!! ??????

I'd tell him not to bother then and hand over his rights to guy ! As he's more of a man and a father than this so called bloke ! Xx

What a complete d**k! My husband is ex army now and I know the hours can be challenging and the army can be understanding at times with supporting family but can be army comes first attitude too. In saying that though they always get time off and he could plan time with you in advance to see his son he would drive from his base if it was far and make the effort. Then to say it was your choice to have him? Hate this line you didn't get pregnant on your own he has a responsibility! Does his family speak to you? Do they approve of his behaviour? If my son done this I wouldn't be best pleased, he would be told man up!

I completely understand you not wanting to stop contact as makes you the bad one and gives his dad ammunition against you. I have had family loose contact with their dad and when they turned 16 their mum gave them their dads number and allowed the choice in their hands? He didn't want to know them so showed his true colours!

Kelly he's got no rights anyway he's not on his bc. Rhys has my maiden name. I told him I feel like he's trying to push me to stop contact so he doesn't look like the bad parent but I won't unless Rhys tells me he doesn't wanna see him. He said that I'm putting words in his mouth and that he does wanna see him but it's hard with work ect... I said you are 25 mins from here! I don't want you to see him every weekend but when you can't see him call him or come on a weekday evening!!! It's been the same argument for 8 years! I said if you don't wanna be his dad then say cos I need to explain to Rhys as to why! He said well if I'm paying you for the rest of my life I might as well see him! I was ranging. I told him that comment was bang out of order!!

The thing is I leave it and leave it to see how long it would take him to contact me to see Rhys and he doesn't Rhys then asks me to text him and I have to be the first to make contact! And his dad's answer is always he doesn't wanna see me! Well if he didn't then he wouldn't ask me to contact his dad! Rhys could go months without contact and not care but then he will randomly ask and I feel guilty saying no sorry you can't see him anymore. Last time I left it 4 months! And Rhys said my dad hates me ect... it prob bothers me more than them. Cos of Rhys ADHD and odd his feelings come across different or he doesn't understand them properly yet. But I know he will one day and I don't want him to be hurt by his dad! It's all such a mess! X

Oh and as for his dad's family they don't care! There just as useless never hear from them either! X

Sounds like his dad is acting the child here and taking the easy option. My dad walked out when I was 7 and didn't really bother afterwards. I've seen him a few times he made promises to step up and that hurt more. He walked away as it was easier not to see the pain he caused each visit, so he took the easy option and didn't bother. In time Rhys will know you tried and he didn't. By then it'll be too late he'll be settled and happy and won't want his dad xx

Spoke to my oh to confirm about the army etc and he said that his dad is just a d**k he said yes some leave days get changed etc but training and holidays are organised for the year so he is just using army as an excuse. My hubby spent many many years in the army so knows the rules pretty well. I only stayed near base for a very short time so wanted to confirm. Chin up you know you're doing the absolute best for him

Thank you ladies. The thing that's getting me is I couldn't care less if he sees him again it's not for me it's for Rhys and every now and then Rhys wants to see him. So il leave it and wait for him to contact me about his son and he won't then Rhys will ask me about his dad and can he call him or text him and il have to and it will go round in circles for another 8 years :( Rhys isn't mature enough to sit down and talk to either so I can't even sit him down and talk to him. Makes me so upset xx