super angry veteran husband
super angry veteran husband
Ok so for those who dont know ive known my dh since i was 5 just from both of our families being around each other from what I know now and then the man that I knew back then is completely different because of his anger and his anxiety I just don't really know how to even deal with it sometimes it's like I can do everything possible to make him happy and it's still not be enough it's mad at really nothing because the house is clean the kids are bathed the kids are fed his clothes are washed.... i mean idk i even show him affection during all of this. He temper literally can go from 0-100 at the drop of a dime. And its over the smallest thing. Any type of stress he just doesnt deal with it well..... i love this man and hes given me four beautiful children I in no way shape or form want to leave him this is just something that he's dealing with and I want to help him through it I just really don't know how
deleted-user·
He should probably get into counseling before things gets worse. Maybe see if the VA can point you in the right direction?
deleted-user·
*hugs* I know it's hard
My brother has ptsd it was really really bad.
He's much better from just 5 years ago! He left the military in 2010 and was really bad a few years after that...
I don't have much advice since It's a different kind or relationship since he is my brother . Just try finding yourself a group for these kinds of things even if on Facebook!
**like pp said the VA should have resources and medicine , my brother still takes meds for his issues , he's not perfect but much better from before
deleted-user·
I've been through this with my DH. Definitely sounds like PTSD. You guys need to reach out to the VA. DH has tried a few different meds, individual counseling & group counseling. He finds the group the most helpful. They also have support groups for spouses and it's been really helpful for me, and I've made some really amazing friends.
What I finally did with my DH was record him when he snapped into that angry place and had him listen to it once he was calmed down. It was like he had absolutely no control at the time & didn't care about anything but that anger, which isn't who he is at all. PTSD is really hard & they do go through a lot but it's not an excuse, just like any other mental condition. There are so many options to get it under control and make them feel better, unfortunately the military mentality is usually suck it up and deal with it, so the hardest part is just admitting they aren't ok and reaching out. From there it gets so much better. Feel free to pm me if you need to ?
Cmjohnson3047·
Thank u guys soooo much! Its mentally and physically exhausting. ??? i get that he gas alot of stress on him cuz hes the only one who works. I just dont want him to turn back to alcohol he drinks just beer now but doesnt overdo it ususlly abt 3 beers a day... if he doesnt have that then its even worse!!! Is that bad...like he needs beer to function?
deleted-user·
Tbh yes it’s bad if he needs beer to function. But substance abuse is so prevalent in veterans because it’s a coping mechanism. And one that is unfortunately sometimes more socially acceptable than admitting you have PTSD, which it sounds like he’s struggling with. My husband went through the same thing post deployment. The VA is awesome in helping find support. But know you’re not alone. Was he deployed recently? With my husband as time went on it got less intense. Regardless I hope he seeks some support ?
deleted-user·
My SO is prior service as well and he can't handle anxiety or stress well, he goes to counseling and it really helps, he's on meds for his ptsd and anxiety. It's hard at times but I just give him his space and he usually calls down
deleted-user·
You just explained my so. He has been going to the VA for help because he was so torn up he wanted to take his life, but yet he didn't because he woke me up at three am asking for me to drive him to the hospital. It has been a long long road that we started down in 2013 he got back in 2011 drank too much when he wasn't working and was always mad. he will still have times when he is fine and in .1 sec be so pissed off at nothing. I would ask your so to go in and just talk to a counselor.
The military teaches them to lock away feelings in a box but not how to deal with them.
They do things and see things that we will never understand. My so refuses to talk to me about 90% of it and he has told me alot so I can't even imagine.
Hugs to you because I know it's hard.finding help does work it's just a long bumpy road.
Cmjohnson3047·
His family has a bad history of alcholism so its very hard for him to not have a beer... when we had to spend a week in Philly for our son and he cared for our 2 year old dd he didnt have a drink at all.... it was good to see that he didnt NEED it like a raging addict but when we got home he had quite a few drinks to make up for not having any. But yeah i think he should be seen for ptsd asap! I know he'll be completely agaisnt taking any kind of pills for ptsd tho so idk what we're gonna do