Pp that is the whole point I was trying to get across.
Like sure in many cases a 16 and 23 yr old are probably not the best combo but in many cases it will be okay and it doesn't inherently make the 23 yr old a predator or creep. It would be concerning if a 23 yr old has only ever dated 16/17 year olds, but sometimes people just click.
One of my very best friends in the world is 20 years older than me. Her and I just click and we have a great friendship. I'm so glad she never had that mentality of "I could never hang out with a youngster " when we met about 6 years ago
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If behaviour is held to a moral standard then it transcends the time it happens in otherwise we can say racism and slavery were acceptable because society viewed it as OK back then. If pedophilia is morally wrong and 23 year olds are sexual predators, then they were just as much sexual predators back then. Except of course they weren't and 23 year olds today aren't automatically sexual predators either.
Sexual predators deliberately target someone they perceive as weaker than themselves in order to commit something they know is wrong. There will be a lot of 23 year olds like this no doubt but they'd be that way at any age. Yaya just told us full maturity doesn't happen until around mid 20s. In my experience girls tend to mature at a quicker rate than boys. A 23 year old male who's still a little immature falling in love with a very mature 16 year old and views her as an equal isn't automatically being predatory. That's just common sense. Because age them both 10 years and no one would blink twice. I don't agree with it. I think it's too young but to automatically label someone a sexual predator based purely on that one aspect is premature.
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I'm kind of shocked that there is someone that would be okay with their 16 year old dating a 23 year old. lol
I'm just thinking something has to be wrong with a 23 year old man that is wanting to date a sixteen year old little girl.
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In Canada it’s legal 16 the age of consent, at that age you can also move out , get a job (can’t work under 16) and you can also get married .
The age for drinking/buying cigarettes is either 18-19 depending the province and 18 to buy lottery tickets
So maybe our way of thinking is different because we consider people young adults at an earlier age and in psych we’re taught your a young adult from 17-24 so being in the same age group makes it less creepish
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Many many years ago, the field of mental health would perform lobotomies in the blink of an eye. Surely, they didn’t know much about the maturity levels of a 16 year old vs a 23 year old. Not to mention life expectancy wasn’t nearly as old as it is now. So yes, back then, my grandparents were just fine and viewed as typical by society when they married older or younger partners.
Many things that were acceptable then, are not now, and the reason why... is we know better, live longer in this case, and we can adapt to the now.
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Still think 16 yr olds are kids & when my daughter wants to date, their can only be a 2 yr age Gap at the most. I will never let her get in a relationship when she's underage with someone who isn't that can buy cigarettes & drink they know how to manipulate kids minds & either way what does a 16 yr old have to offer a 23 yr old nothing at that's stage my daughter should be thinking about going to college & wanting to hang out with friends.
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It's also legal to marry your cousins in some places but does that make it ok?
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I'm a bit confused honestly. Is it that age of consent laws now exist that make people think a 23 yr old is a sexual predator? Not saying I think as a rule it's OK but a couple of generations ago that age gap and around that age was pretty normal for marriage. So what that basically means is that many, many people's grandfathers or great grandfathers were sexual predators...
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Yea but it's not illegal everywhere so theres that....
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So I'm on a high horse because I think something like this is wrong and a 16 y.o is still a child... oh wait, it's also illegal so there's that.
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@poison no I wasnt I was talking to @ttdub.
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Kids do sneak around but when I was 16 dating a 24 year old my parents called the cops. As they should have. I’m very glad they did now that I’m 24 and have matured.
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My parents stopped claiming me at 15?
Stay on your highhorse all you want but if my children had an awesome partner at 16/17 and their partners were early 20's I'd support it as long as they were being responsible and respectful of one another.
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I hope you're not talking to me Mamabird.
Who actually wants their 16 year old to sneak around and date a 23 year old. I'm guessing not very many. Does it still happen? Uh yeah.
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If your parents still claim you as a dependent on their taxes, I don't care how "mature" you think you are, you are still a child.
I hope you expect better from your children.
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I think though that 16 year olds are capable of sneaking out and meeting with people that they want to. Some are more mature then others. Do I think that a 16 year old dating a 23 year old is ok? No, not in the least at all. It's disgusting to me.
BUT I'm not naive enough to think that just because a parent tells their 16 year old to stop dating someone that age that they're going to listen. They ARE old enough to sneak around and think they're mature enough for a partner that old.
Now a little child that is 6 years old isn't going to be able to sneak around and comprehend what's going on.
I probably didn't explain it great but there is a difference to me.
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At 16 they actually are all immature. It's scientifically proven. The brain doesn't fully develop until around 24 years old. A 23 year old has no business with a 16 year old. They are not pedophiles, but they are ephebophiles if they are continually seeking out partners in that age range.
16 is not a "young adult" an 18 or 19 yr old is a young adult.
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Uea but to say all 23 year olds that date younger people are sexual predators is absurd. Not all 16 year old, young adults, are extremely immature, and not all 23 year olds are as mature as society wants to believe, so its very possible to find a good balance between the two ages.
I felt like a big ol' creeper the few times I have tried to date people my age when I was a teenager. They alwaus just acted and looked like little kids to me and I felt nasty for trying to date someone my age.
I wholeheartedly believe a 23 year old being interested in a 16 year old is a sexual predator. At least in my case, it was. I got pregnant at 16 by a 23 year old who couldn't take no for an answer. So yeah.
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I wasn't even thinking about sex at 16 ? I just wanted to hang out with friends, play video games, practice art, and ride my bike ? Definitely wasn't looking at older men...?
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16 yo isn’t a child? ?? Ummm I don’t know about you but even though I thought I was still mature for my age bc I had a job, car, helped pay for a lot of household things, AND going to school I was in no sense ready to be an adult. I wasn’t even looking at guys older than me bc I thought it was creepy! I even waited a week to date this one guy who was like 21-22 and in the military bc I wasn’t comfortable due to my not being 18 yet.
So yes, 18 and under in my eyes are considered children and they should be hanging out with peers of their own age range.
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Ttdub I can see how this would ruffle your feathers as you were 17 when you conceived with a significantly older man (your husband) as you stated. Not sure of the age gap but isn’t far off from the op I guess.
While the term pedophile isn’t the true definition of a 16 with a 23 year old I definitely wouldn’t dismiss being a sexual predator. I thought I knew it all at 16 mature and all, I was soooooo wrong, such a huge mentality difference from 16 to 23+ many at 16/17 will say the same as I thought. It’s taking advantage and is preying on someone significantly younger and vulnerable.
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16 year olds are still children & so not true about them not needing to be reminded about things at that age they still need to be reminded to brush their teeth or if they have a doc appointment because their still in lala land don't know where you got from they don't need to be reminded of things. Their always reminded at school to do homework or when projects are due because they are still children & they don't always remember everything shat I'm 24 & I still sometime forget things I have to put everything on my calendar. & At age 16 some don't even know how to drive Wich mean their still depending on someone. An adult to me is someone who has a job full time job & a car & is making enough if wanted to live on their own.
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What bubble do you live in that a 16yo isn't a child?? They definitely still have to be taken to the doctor, they can't make medical decisions for themselves. Can't vote, join the military, drink alcohol or even gamble. They barely just got their license and in most states just being 16 isn't even enough for that. They can't live on their own, get a credit card, or anything an adult can do. What business does a grown man have getting together with a teenager in a sexual manner?
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CRA it really is ? he's really immature and literally laughs at anything serious being said to him. Idk if its the drug use over time (since the age of 13) or if this is really just the way he is. I gave up helping him because he treated me like ? after my son was born and I wasn't able to drop everything to help him.
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@serena ? oh, I am so sorry. That is awful....
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Sadly my brother is one of these. In and out of jail and only 20 years old. He still talks to 13-14 year olds because their easy naive targets and I keep waiting for the call that he's being charged with statutory rape.
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Reading the word diddle just kind of made me feel gross and I hated it. I don't like this post and agree that it's not the same but still wrong
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Maybe not a literal “child” when regarding paedophilia, but a 16 year old is still a minor in most places. Where I am from you are not considered a legal adult until 19. It varies from place to place. My child is still my child and I would not be okay with a legal adult wanting to be with my child or teenager. When they are a legal adult then they can do whatever they want.
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LMAO. What bubble do you guys live in? 16 is not a child. Children need reminders to brush their teeth and help with washing their hair, and taken to Drs appointments. 16 year olds do not.
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I think most of us will agree neither are okay. Correct terms are important though.
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But you shouldnt post a PSA with inaccurate information. Plus is creepy that it used the word diddle. Just saying.
No one is disagreeing that it’s still very inappropriate.
I'm happy to have learned a new word today... seriously. But I'm pretty sure we all know what is meant by the meme, whether the wording is perfect or not.
A 23 year old should not be thinking anything sexual regarding a 16 year old, male or female. A 16 year old is still a damn child. That's predatory behavior.
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I feel like this whole meme is inappropriate by using the word "diddle" to describe sexual abuse towards a child.
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A 23 year old going after a 16 year old is at the very least a giant LOSER.
sorry not sorry.
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There’s a difference between a paedophile and ephebophile.
Both are disgusting. Just because it’s legal or you’re the age of consent doesn’t make it morally okay to me.
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Because theres a huge difference.
And it shouldnt be automatically assumed that the 23 yr old is a sexual predator.
@frank thank you lol...that's exactly what I was thinking but you beat me to it.
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Can we all agree to replace the word pedophile with sexual predator? Its a shame the wording created a point of discussion instead of the intention behind it.
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An old man trying to “diddle” a six year old IS a pedophile. Your 23 year old homeboy trying to date a 16 year old ISN’T a pedophile. He’s an ephebophile. Still disgusting to me either way.
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Females can be pedophiles too....
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I wouldn’t condone my 16 year old child (male or female) to date a 23 year old. Not because of some man made law... those vary worldwide. But because of the maturity level, and the actual stage of life that they’re in. My 16 year old would (most likely be) still in high school. His or her focus would be geared towards school primarily, and a social life with like minded peers.
That being said... there is an absolute difference between a 60 year old having an intimate interest in a 6 year old, or... even a 16 year old. On every level, this is disgusting.
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This whole meme is just completely innacurate. A pedophile isn't a 23 year old home boy hitting up a 16 year old girl because a 16 year old girl isn't pre-pubescent. The definition of a pedophile is someone attracted to pre-pubescent CHILDREN. Not almost grown teenagers.
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I completely agree with you. But laws are supposed to represent the morals of the country. I think the lack of laws give predators a free pass, it's almost encouraging in a way.
Like sure in many cases a 16 and 23 yr old are probably not the best combo but in many cases it will be okay and it doesn't inherently make the 23 yr old a predator or creep. It would be concerning if a 23 yr old has only ever dated 16/17 year olds, but sometimes people just click.
One of my very best friends in the world is 20 years older than me. Her and I just click and we have a great friendship. I'm so glad she never had that mentality of "I could never hang out with a youngster " when we met about 6 years ago