Carrimel I was WillyNilly then too! I had my page deleted awhile after having my dd because I was always busy. I wasn't in R&R then though, this place scared me so I just lurked?
Well I love you a lot too Willy and you took the words right out of my mouth.
Seriously I think we spend (as a society in general) faaaaar to much time deciding what our children should be raised to prefer and want without much consideration to the fact that even kids are unique and individual and trying to hyper genderize or even neutralize them isn't normal. Isn't organic. Let them decide what they like. What they want to accomplish. What they want to be.
Eta: our jobs as parents are to make sure they grow up into adults who can handle their shiz and to try to minimize the douchery they can get involved in along the way so they don't damage themselves or anyone else lol. Not to make sure that they conform to anyones ideal of what they should be one way or another.
I never raised my daughter more like a son nor do I raise my sons to be more like daughters. Men and women will never be the same nor think and feel the same because we are different. I tailor my parenting style to my kids different personalities. Not their genders.
Our jobs are to raise our children to have the highest self esteem possible. Along with empathy, morals and values. We want our kids to be able to take things as they come while growing up. Kids can be harsh and we want our kids to be able to let things slide right off their backs. We also want them to be able to talk to us about what they are feeling as well. And help them work through some of those emotions. We want to be there for them no matter what. No matter how our kids start acting (girly) boy. (Tomboy) girl. We should be there to support them no matter what. Not make them feel worse by judging them for it. We are their parents. They are supposes to trust us with everything in their lives. Not be afraid to be what they feel like is natural to them. Im sorry for the long paragraph lol. I just have some strong opinions about this kind of thing. My cousin is gay and his parents completely pushed him away and disowned him. Worse part was that he was a twin and they put all their focus on his twin brother and made it seem like they only a loved his brother because he was gay and his brother was straight. Well my cousin committed suicide and then his parents realised they were in the wrong. Again sorry for the mega long post lol.
I think there's some truth in the quote. Society at large has embraced the idea of women in traditionally male industries (mechanics, the hard sciences, academia), but has not yet embraced men in traditionally female roles (stay at home parent, daycare provider, ballet instructor). Likewise society in general has deemed it acceptable for a little girl to love superheroes and the color blue, but looks askance at a little boy who loves my little pony and pink. Those are just superficial indicators that gender equality hasn't come as far as some people insist it has. Until "women's work" is no longer considered less-than, the fight isn't over. Until a little boy can show an interest in things that have been traditionally gender coded as "for girls" with no problem, the fight isn't over.
Before having kids, my husband and I made decisions about how we would raise our kids regardless of if they were boys or girls. We agreed that there are certain things that everyone should learn whether they are a boy or a girl. We also agreed that things like what toys they want to play with don't matter. We let our daughter pick out whatever types of toys she wants and if we had a son we would do the same. I think the important thing is raising responsible, caring individuals.
deleted-user·
How would one raise their daughter like a son? Tape a penis to them?
How about everyone just raise their kids to be decent, kind, loving, honest, hardworking, and compassionate PEOPLE.
deleted-user·
Willy, who were you before your new arrival? Because I like you ?
deleted-user·
Carrimel I was WillyNilly then too! I had my page deleted awhile after having my dd because I was always busy. I wasn't in R&R then though, this place scared me so I just lurked?
deleted-user·
Well I love you a lot too Willy and you took the words right out of my mouth.
Seriously I think we spend (as a society in general) faaaaar to much time deciding what our children should be raised to prefer and want without much consideration to the fact that even kids are unique and individual and trying to hyper genderize or even neutralize them isn't normal. Isn't organic. Let them decide what they like. What they want to accomplish. What they want to be.
Eta: our jobs as parents are to make sure they grow up into adults who can handle their shiz and to try to minimize the douchery they can get involved in along the way so they don't damage themselves or anyone else lol. Not to make sure that they conform to anyones ideal of what they should be one way or another.
deleted-user·
I never raised my daughter more like a son nor do I raise my sons to be more like daughters. Men and women will never be the same nor think and feel the same because we are different. I tailor my parenting style to my kids different personalities. Not their genders.
deleted-user·
Our jobs are to raise our children to have the highest self esteem possible. Along with empathy, morals and values. We want our kids to be able to take things as they come while growing up. Kids can be harsh and we want our kids to be able to let things slide right off their backs. We also want them to be able to talk to us about what they are feeling as well. And help them work through some of those emotions. We want to be there for them no matter what. No matter how our kids start acting (girly) boy. (Tomboy) girl. We should be there to support them no matter what. Not make them feel worse by judging them for it. We are their parents. They are supposes to trust us with everything in their lives. Not be afraid to be what they feel like is natural to them. Im sorry for the long paragraph lol. I just have some strong opinions about this kind of thing. My cousin is gay and his parents completely pushed him away and disowned him. Worse part was that he was a twin and they put all their focus on his twin brother and made it seem like they only a loved his brother because he was gay and his brother was straight. Well my cousin committed suicide and then his parents realised they were in the wrong. Again sorry for the mega long post lol.
deleted-user·
I think there's some truth in the quote. Society at large has embraced the idea of women in traditionally male industries (mechanics, the hard sciences, academia), but has not yet embraced men in traditionally female roles (stay at home parent, daycare provider, ballet instructor). Likewise society in general has deemed it acceptable for a little girl to love superheroes and the color blue, but looks askance at a little boy who loves my little pony and pink. Those are just superficial indicators that gender equality hasn't come as far as some people insist it has. Until "women's work" is no longer considered less-than, the fight isn't over. Until a little boy can show an interest in things that have been traditionally gender coded as "for girls" with no problem, the fight isn't over.
deleted-user·
I don't get it ? I want my sons to be sons.
deleted-user·
Before having kids, my husband and I made decisions about how we would raise our kids regardless of if they were boys or girls. We agreed that there are certain things that everyone should learn whether they are a boy or a girl. We also agreed that things like what toys they want to play with don't matter. We let our daughter pick out whatever types of toys she wants and if we had a son we would do the same. I think the important thing is raising responsible, caring individuals.
deleted-user·
@iris I agree!!!!
deleted-user·
I don't try to enforce gender roles. I just let my children be themselves.