Thanks @Momarchy....I will definitely be trying to implement this. I really appreciate your detailed response.

Oh, also, in terms of validating your older DD's hurt feelings from being hit... after you've calmed the situation down, try saying something like "I know you were mad/upset/frustrated when you hit your sister, I understand how that feels. Now your sister is upset though and it's important to take care of family. What can you do to help fix what's happened?"

If she can't think of anything, that's ok. It's a learning process. You can offer a choice then, "maybe you could say you're sorry or you could draw her a nice picture that shows you love her. It's your decision."

Time-outs are not a part of peaceful parenting. Yaya can correct me if I'm wrong, but loving guidance is encouraged over time-outs. For PP, age 3 is a transitional year. In terms of development, they should be leaving the world of power struggles and entering into the new territory of self-management.

Your husband is right, time-outs will cause your DD to feel more rejected and more like a bad person than she already does. I understand where you're coming from though because we are always hearing "consistency is key".

Take in to consideration that the rational part of your child's brain has not fully formed yet. I know you've said that you explained to her why hitting is bad and have made her apologize, but have you tried empathizing with her? Toddlers usually act out to express a need that isn't being met. Maybe her older sister gets more positive attention, maybe older sister is capable of things she's not which makes her upset, maybe she wants Mom or Dad all to herself. You know your kid, I don't, but I'd encourage you to try and see things from her perspective, and then approach the issue from a place of love.

Something like, "It makes me sad when you hit your sister because I love you very much and I know you're not trying to be bad. From now on, whenever you feel like you want to hit your sister, I want you to try this instead. Run to me as FAST as you can and hug me as tight as you can." And then offer to practice, which is basically just her running at you with lots of hugs. ?

You can alter that to what works for you, but that's an example of loving guidance used in peaceful parenting. The important part is that you keep showing her how lovable she is, even when she's done wrong. You're coaching her to handle her emotions better, instead of controlling them which leads to even more bad behavior because you're taking away her control.

Good luck. Don't forget to take time for yourself and take breaks when you need to. Parenting is stressful, it's emotional, it requires a lot of patience, and it's hard. Be kind to yourself & be your own peaceful parent. ?

Following.....

My husband and I just had a disagreement about this because I said I'm going to start being more consistent with this for our 3 year old and he doesn't like it. He said I shouldn't punish her that that might make her feel angry and rejected. My logic was that's why I speak to her and recap and hug her afterwards. She hits her older sister who is 9, all the time. I make her say sorry and I talk to her about acceptable behavior and how she wouldn't like it if her sister hit her. But she repeats the same thing. Today I made her apologize and my 9 year old said "you always make her apologize but she doesn't mean it, and she just does it again" which seems to be true for the most part. That's why I decided I will start consistently putting her in the corner. My husband doesn't like it but I told him that I don't think it's fair you saying you don't like it when you aren't offering me an alternate solution. I've already told you that I consistently talk to her and explain to her and make her apologize and that isn't working.