Ladies I need help! My ex contacted me...via email. Now, if you've read my previous posts you'd see…

His email:

i know we havent talked since i left but let me know when the baby is born please i still wanna be there for him i dont want him to ever think i dont wanna be there also let me know what he needs so i can help you get it and do u know the due date yet are you still sticking with the names we talked about are you going to be staying in los angeles or moving somewhere i know we talked about me being able to see the baby so i hope u still let me be around him im gonna be there for him even if u dont want me too so we might as well just figure out what works best for both of us i want him to know me and my side of the family plus i want jacob to know his brother and Damien to know jacob please dont make this harder than it already is i hope your taking care of your self and making sure the baby is healthy hopefully we can do what best for him because im not gonna just walk out of his life like u want

I think you should print put all the messages between him and his other kids mom and keep them for a later date.

Respond to him saying you want no contact unless its about the baby. You will let him know about appointments and every thing to do with the baby only.

Get your ducks in a row for custody after the baby is born.

Please tell me you already have a lawyer because that's some facked up shat right there. If you don't, you need to get one now. I'm afraid for you and that baby.

The phone is in my possession so I can print the messages whenever I want. I just don't know why he's acting all nice out of nowhere. Do I even respond? He's in another state now. Idk why he's acting like he cares.

Bs!!! Save the messages that him and his bm wrote so you can show the judge when that time comes. I wouldn't allow those demons around my baby smh.

Do not respond! Anything you say is just ammo for him in court. Even if you don't say anything wrong, they'll find a way to twist your words to their advantage. It's best to just keep that door closed.

I would respond with I will only have contact with you about the baby and through my lawyer.

Idk how she can even side with him. He put her through hell too. Would beat her and when their kid was smaller she told me he held her at gunpoint and took the baby out of state with him.

Yet here she is trying to take my baby from me. They're both nuts.

My first reaction to the email was that he's full of s*** and not to respond at all. I still haven't. But if I don't respond can he use that against me??

I would wait, you don't need to respond right away. Get some legal advice first. You need to be as nice as possible so it doesn't reflect badly on you in any way.

Don't say anything to him. That's just feeding the fire. Just start documenting anything and everything he says to you. That way if he does try to make you look unfit you'll have proof of what he's said.

Don't respond. It's obvious what his intentions are already. Keep the phone, all of the messages between him and his ex. Keep anything and everything he sends you and don't respond. Get a lawyer. You'll need everything once baby is born.

I honestly don't want to respond at all. I feel like if he decides to do something later I'll address it then. I don't have a lawyer. I have no money for that right now. He left me broke with a huge lease that I'm still trying to figure out how to pay. But of course if he later tried to take him I'll fight him in court and get an attorney at that point. I just wanted to make sure that not responding was okay. That it won't make me look bad.

ETA: I'm moving out of state when baby comes because I can't afford to stay here but he doesn't need to know that.

What an idiot. Those messages between him and his other child's mother, will prove everything in court. So keep it safe! Baby isn't here yet, so you don't need to be in contact. He's acting nice because he thinks he's clever with what he saying and will use it in court. Don't let him know you have the messages. Just sit back and watch his face when the judge brings up those messages.

He knows about the messages. He had other stuff in the phone. Like messages between him and other girls. I sent them all to her through Facebook. And I told her I read every message between them. It wasn't a bunch. Just him telling her that I didn't wanna eat. Well no sh*t I couldn't eat! My stomach was in knots because of all the crap he did. And she told him to screenshot me saying I can't eat so he can use it in court saying I don't take care of myself and to prove I'm unfit. She was also telling him stuff he can legally do later to get custody and change his name and blah blah blah.

I can't believe she stayed with him after all that.

I'm so scared that he'll try to take my baby from me. I'm scared he'll try to hold me at gunpoint like he did to her. I honestly don't know what he's capable of. I don't even wanna file for child support after the baby is born cuz I'm afraid to.

He's crazy!

If your that scared get a restraining order. Then any contact he tries to make with you is against the law you will not have to notify him of anything including the birth of the child and he has no rights unless he gets granted a court ordered paternity test which I highly doubt he will go to the trouble of.

Don't put him on the birth certificate and give baby your last name.

Do you have any of her messages to you about what he did to her?? Is their police reports on it?? I'd get as much info on that as I can...

Look up different state custody laws, I've heard that in some states that the mom automatically has 100% custody as long as the mom and dad weren't married.

I'd look into those states that have better mom oriented laws.

I think the baby might also need to be born in that state but I'm not sure about that...

But I do think in some states it's who files for custody first that depends on which state laws they go by,

Eg if he's in Texas and your in New York, he files first then I think it goes by Texas laws, and vice versa.

But again I'm not 100% on that.

I also think you not having a lot of money ect might be in your favour, there might be government assistance for your legal fees, look into all that.

And yes he's trying to use all this and being "nice" to his advantage.

Start looking into everything now and prepare.

You might even get to use this post as proof too...

Ps get one of those phone and also a voicerecording apps and record any and all calls and in person conversations( if he stalks you and shows up outta the blue hit record) in some states(not all but some) you can use it as evidence in court.

Again homework is the key.

If he's being nice to you, he's just trying to get something out of you to hurt you later. He's probably trying to butter you up to keep you from fighting back in court.

Keep everything he sends you. Try and record any interactions you have with him. Don't let him fool you - he's a dick and he's trying to f*** you over.

I dated a guy who was just like this, fortunately we didn't have any kids and weren't married so it was a clean break, but he periodically pops up trying to f*** with me.

When it comes to him and her, yes there were police reports about it. She took him to court. The police got the kid back and she was granted full custody. But she's back with him now.

@naream

I know he's only acting nice because it's part of whatever plan he has in mind. I now know how big a liar he is. I see how manipulative he is. The blindfold was lifted after all that happened. And I will not fall for it. I'm not gonna respond to him at all.

At this point, I hope you saved the messages. Save everything. And the only talking you should do should be through a lawyer. He's already planned to get custody of the baby, so anything you do or say is just evidence for him to twist. I would cut contact and settle it through a lawyer after the baby is born. If you can leave his name off of the birth certificate do that. It will add an extra obstacle for him to get custody and might deter him from pursuing it through court which might get expensive.

My friend is going through court right now because her child's dad took her for custody. She's winning by a mile, although her child's dad is mentally unstable. Most of this advice (saving everything and only speaking through a lawyer) is from her lawyer to her.

I'm never one to say keep baby from dad but he's obviously very unstable. I just wouldn't respond and I'd move away and not tell him where you are. Don't put him on the birth certificate and just roll out.

He has a violent history. You CAN use that against him. He has also lost custody of his other children.

Thanks Glen. I definitely will not be responding at all to him. If he decides to try anything later I'll settle it in court with a lawyer.

I am not putting him on the birth certificate and the baby will have my last name. Which reminds me, can you believe that about a week before he left he told me I better give the baby his last name and have him circumcised?