I thought a few ladies on here could do with this. It's so true!
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My baby had a tongue tie and wasn't found until 7 weeks.. I was trying to breastfeed with sore bleeding nipples and everybody kept telling me to give up and out her on formula. I persevered and I'm so glad. This poster is very encouraging for the early days when you feel like giving up. I read it between the lines and for me personally it is easier to breastfeed now nearly 3 months on compared to my friend that moans about ff and having to sterilise and spend money on formula. This poster isn't about rubbing it in to mums that ff it's about encouraging bf mums that need help. I can understand that some mums wish they could've bf but couldn't and it's upsetting for them, while others feel like it's a dig that they put their lo straight on formula but really no one is criticising what your are doing! It's your choice! It's just encouraging for bf mums that want to pull their hair out their first 3 months! I nearly had a breakdown it was so hard but only from support from a few people was I able to carry on. So for me bf was 100% harder than if I formula fed in the first 3 months and now it's 100% easier than making up formula and sterilising bottles. That for me is a fact! If I would've given up and saw this poster I would've just thought it's sad that I couldn't this time and I will hopefully be able to with my next baby! If you can't share support on this pregnancy app then where can you? X
Just because something shouldn't be the case, sadly doesn't mean that's true.
Trust me - I had very negative experiences with rude and upsetting comments from people ranging from my HV to my mother in law. This is at a time when a new mother can feel very traumatised already in some cases.
Some women may be able to "rise above" it, but others may feel victimised and upset. That doesn't make them weak etc. i do think other people can make you feel guilty/question what you're doing (especially when post birth hormones are running riot lol).
In an ideal world, we would all feel supported in the way we feed but for many (not all) that simply isn't the case.
Well, it shouldn't be. If ff mums have made the decision to ff, for whatever reason, then surely they have made the right decision for themselves and for their family? They should be happy and supported in their decision on how to feed their baby - by their friends, family, extended family etc - those who matter. I'm sure most are and I am genuinely happy for them.
You can't instill guilt in anyone though. In the same way that you can't control other people's feelings. I do empathise with mothers who wanted to bf and couldn't. If I was unsuccessful it would really upset me for sure but I wouldn't want anyone else to feel that way and would use that to help other mums to succeed at bf. I'm sure a lot of ff mums on here are supportive of bf mums and that's great. But it is true - you can't post anything positive about bf without someone saying 'this makes me feel bad'. I remember once posting a poster about the benefits of breastfeeding. Christ!! I was eaten alive!! A pregnancy site was onbviously not the best place to post that! I removed it because it upset a lot of people but it wasn't my intention. I genuinely found the benefits of bf poster useful and informative and now it's gone!
Bf isn't for everybody otherwise formula wouldn't be a billion dollar industry. But for those who do want to bf they need encouragement, support and motivation and where better than a pregnancy site!
Love this xx
I found breast feeding very difficult to begin with, my son had a tongue tie, which was not released until he was 7weeks old he fed constantly until he was about 10wks old. I am proud of myself for sticking with breast feeding. My son is 7.5mths old now and stil ebf and we have no plans to stop breast feeding anytime soon ?.
FTM's folky is right, it gets easier! If I can do it, you can do it!
Folky thank you for sharing something bf'ing positive, knowing that a backlash would probably happen xx
When you do read between the lines you can see what it's really saying is 'although ff can seem easier at the beginning when bf is so difficult the tables really are turned in a few months and that you are glad you persevered'. This is what I read but bearing in mind that I'm not sensitive/defensive about bf because bf was successful in my case. I may not be lucky next time, who knows, but memes/posters like this will remind me how easy it will become if I persevere and have no issues and how I should invest in it if I did feel like I was failing. It's motivational.
Bf mums have all, at one point, I'm sure considered giving up. I know I have and I'm sure other bf mums on here have too.
The 'feeling sorry' part should be taken lightly just in how we feel sorry for people having hangovers when we can't drink or when people have to go to work when we don't. No one would perceive that as looking down, why should this be any different? It's not meant to be taken offensively but I can see how it could be taken that way.
Bronzer I didn't say there was anything wrong with what you said I just pointed out that YOU started the BF vs FF debate. Of course you are entitled to share your experience with BF but dont then get bent out of shape when a FF Mum comes on and shares her experience which is exactly what you did!!!
I think it's just about weighing the pros and cons of both as in many cases bf will be "easier" but for some it genuinely isn't easier and ff is the best option for them.
If you have a baby like mine who wouldn't bf properly (I had many people/professionals check what what happening and they were stumped) and you spend lot of time in pain, in tears, feeling generally distraught - ff can be an amazing option - not a difficult one.
In my case, maybe he/I would have learnt to master it - I don't know - but I am glad I used formula (as well as expressing) as trying to ebf was harming my physical and mental well being. Plus my baby, who was born a bit early and light, was losing weight and medical advice was to ensure he got fed by formula as well.
I do see what you're saying but it's just the negativity/comparison element towards ff which doesn't sit well with some people. Either ff don't want to read a message about people feeling sorry for them as they are happy with how they feed, don't find it a faff etc and do find the message patronising/condescending etc. Or they may not want to hear it because they are unhappy with formula feeding/wish they could breastfeed and reading this just applies more pressure.
Many people found the last line of this poster pretty poor so I don't think other people should judge those who do not like it. It clearly didn't sit well with many people and we should not be looked down upon or seen as silly for questioning the message part of this poster conveys. I agree people shouldn't get hysterical/abusive to others about things etc but this is a forum and it's ok to have a discussion about how stuff makes us feel. A bf (or indeed some ff) may not find the poster offensive but that's likely because they have has different experiences/reactions from people about how they feed - but that doesn't mean those offended are wrong to feel the way they do.
Yep I put in my experiences of breastfeeding an its not nasty but it's true, most bfing mums feel sorry/don't envy having to fuss with bottles. In so many ways if its going smoothly its so easy. (Obviously not if theres latching issues etc) you can't help but laugh how simple it can be. its not a dig its not I hate ff, mums feel bad. Its I have this so easy right now I couldn't dream of doing it any other way.
So many ff mums have told me they envy not faffing with bottles an told me it's a nightmare out and about. I attend a baby group and for a long time i was only bf mum there. As they ALL tried to bf but stopped in very early days, they were very interested in bf and ask me loads of questions. I didn't get offended by any comments they made. They found ff easier just as I found bf easy. But these are people in real life who unlike this app, we openly discuss bf and ff without stepping on egg shells.
Fine, but I do feel you are reading too much into it. I don't want to keep repeating myself so won't.
I'm disappointed that you think I'm intentionally causing drama though. Why would I intentionally put up a post to hurt ff mums feelings? I have friends on here who ff. I'm not a nasty person. I'm glad not everyone agrees with your view (regarding this poster) though and that some see the poster for what it is, including ff mums.
Bronzer wasn't it you, apart from the poster in itself, in the third comment of the post who turned it into yet another BF vs FF debate? You picked out the last comment on the poster about feeling sorry for ff Mums. You said you felt sorry for them from day one then listed some FF vs BF points. Think that started the debate.
Kez! Whoa! That's a load of assumptions to make!
First of all - when have I ever objected to a positive ff post? I made some points about the viral video, yes, because people thought it's purpose was to 'end all of the debates', which it totally wasn't. How can you see that as me being against ff? I'm surprised at your hostility kez. You're usually so lovely and open minded.
I have been on here a long time, yes. It's not a secret that I advocate and encourage bf.
Why are you putting this post into another category? Are you accusing me of starting drama now? Was this a content-based bf promotion? Er. No.
From my experiences of this app, I have only I think once seen one post that was an attack on ff.
Yet quite a few mums feel they can't discuss bfing on UK preg. They have told me in pms or in private groups. Quite sad really how many mums who don't post cos they dont feel supported or whenever these types of posts happen its the same mums who like my posts... Yet don't post themselves. To me that speaks volumes.
No one should be feeling like they can't post on this app ff or bf
I have big regrets for not trying harder to breastfeed but I have a healthy baby and that's all that matters to me! Personally I think breastfeeding is a lot harder and good on everyone that does it even for a day! From my experience of friends who breastfeed they don't feel comfortable going out for quite a while and i think that's hard too! I know the picture wasn't for an arguement and it shouldn't become one, but I can see why some people are seeing it as negative x
EDIT: BY THREE MONTHS ...it's a walk in the park! ?
I really don't think it's worth everyone arguing over....AGAIN!
We all have our experiences, positive/negative, bf or ff. Were all fortunate to be in a position to have the choice.... No one should judge another...
Apart from you that have babies that sleep through ???
Xdaly - it's like saying I feel sorry for people that go to work when you've got the day off. Not that you really feel sorry for them (and if you were the worker you wouldn't mind going to work either) but you appreciate being home kinda thing. That's what the person who made the poster tried to do. I get it. But I can see how it can be offensive which is why I said it could have been worded better.
I'm not sure - I think if the poster didn't mention the formula feeding bit, there may not have been any reaction so I think in many cases posts supporting bf wouldn't rile people who ff.
It may seem like ff are too sensitive etc but often this is because of horrible things which have been directed at them in the past due to the way they feed their child.
If you have suffered lots of digs about something previously, it can make you really alive to other things which may further criticise you (even if such further "criticism" is imagined/unintended).
D
Bronzer - that's how I feel as well ?
MrsJones - you always miss my posts. What's new? ?
Granted the person who made this poster could have worded it better.
I'm with ingle though! We can't even breathe the word bf (b word ?) without ff mums getting all touchy and thinking it's a personal attack.
Again this poster could have been worded better. However it should have been 'feeling sorry for formula mums without a perfect prep!' ?
Too soon?
Where?!?! Where have I said that?!?
Have you even read my comments?!
It's aaaaaall about the effort!
I'm obviously wasting my time trying to explain this to you. So not going to bother anymore!
This post is staying up.
When will this app learn! If you aren't struggling with bfing then don't dare ever make a post about bfing. Its not allowed to be seen as bfing positive cos its obviously a dig at someone else. Cos obviously its bfing mums goals in life to make ff mums feel s*** !
Can't ever have a post about bfing that doesn't turn into this same s*** .
We are all good mums no matter how we feed blah blah blah isn't that how we are meant to be ending it until the next post
Yet again people have made an issue where there was none intended.
Jeez... Can't even encourage one another without people getting on their high horse and turning it into a debate. Maybe we should all call it the "b word" and whisper about it when no one's listening? Just incase someone gets over sensitive about the whole subject.
Such a shame we can't support one another without people wading in with their size 9's to moan about it.
Every time I see someone mention breastfeeding on this board it turns into a stupid debate.
Bronzer - me too. It would have to be in the bedroom though otherwise it's not equally as easy. It will take a minute longer but what's a minute?! This sounds great! Some have been recalled though or have been faulty so I'm slightly wary.. Plus £70 is quite steep and since my lb slept through quite early I don't think I would invest... I'd have to wait and see! If I had a terrible sleeper that's ff I would snap it up!
Pp first of all it was a general reply to the many pps who read too much into it. Not to you personally. Especially because you said 'ladies' so I knew your reply wasn't personal to me so why would I reply to you personally if you didn't address me personally?
'It's so true', since there is some confusion, was directed towards the fact that bf gets EASIER. Not because after x amount of time we should feel sorry for ff mums' words (which is a stupid comment, but I didn't make the poster. However, I agree with the purpose of this poster. It's meant to be motivational).
Sometimes you (general response not to you, personally) just have to read between the lines = the fact that bf gets easier IS motivational!
That's why I shared it!
I guess though for some woman it isn't as easy as that for whatever reason and formula can in some cases be a better option depending on your body, your baby, your life etc. Also, if you are formula feeding, you don't have to do the night feeds all the time (assuming you have a helpful other half). Nothing is black and white ie breast feeding isn't less effort for everyone and indeed vice versa. Having said that I don't think anyone was criticising you posting it op, or is anti giving breast feeders hope in the early days.
People are reading too much into 'feeling sorry for ff mums having to make formula' (it's not because of the content in this case it's about the effort). When bf is so easy - pick up top, latch baby - who would bother doing anything that requires more effort than that at 3am!
I didn't make the poster. I shared it. As it's things like this that get you through the tough early stages of bf.
I dunno Allie...at 3am breastfeeding I'll go to sleep an let her feed as much as she wants she will take herself off when done. No awakeness needed for me lol!
Newborn days I would of been to scared to do that, but now she's older its a god send now she's decided not to sleep after going through the night
I wasn't trying to turn it into that at all, I'm sharing my own positive experience, assuming this post is about the positive side of bf...
People have commented along the lines of they wish they could have etc but every situation doesn't allow it to be so easy, or what's best hence the first part of my comment...
I think we've all seen enough debates on BB to know it's personal choice and not take posts and comment in regards to it to heart!
It is a bit negative towards ff. I wanted to breastfeed but after a quick and painful labour I was exhausted been up over 24 hours and my LG was in the ressusatair..(sp?) for 2 hours so I didn't get my skin to skin they just whisked her off. When we came to trying she just wouldn't even try to latch. In the end up gave her a bottle as she was crying from not eating 8 hours after being born. I was gutted. But it's not difficult to prepare a bottle at 3am really is it. Your still awake whether you bf or ff x
I think there are defiantly pros and cons to both, and ultimately every woman will do what she feels is best for herself and baby. I personally love the convenience of bf, probably because I'm a lazy cow and if something requires less work I'm all for it ? I struggled first time round but this time even with a toddler i found it a lot easier and enjoyable from the start. I love the closeness of it and feeling proud that my milk has seen her put on 4 1/2 in 5 weeks ?
I felt sorry for mums from day one. Just pulled my top down and away I went. Yesterday I told my oh if I wasn't bfing he would of been up making bottles in those early days. He has no experience with ff so didn't seem aware of this fact. He was suddenly very grateful I'm bfing.
I also don't own a changing bag just my normal handbags as no bulky bottles to carry!
Maybe it will work out for you next time?
If not at least you've made the right choice for you and your family.
I'm pumping but hope it's true! Been a month and a week so far :) it's exhausting, time consuming, and sacrificing, but I'm proud I haven't given up!