Surprise sister?!?! Ladies, I just had a bombshell dropped on me. My father told my sister and I…

Well I think it's really nice that your dad wants to be in her life. Stop focusing too much on yourself right now and think how great it is for HER that after all these years she knows who her dad is and can finally get to know him.

I do understand your concerns though and talk to him about it. It's not her fault that you and your dad haven't had the best relationship. Let them spend their time together for now and then just see how things go

I understand your concerns but I think he probably feels guilty he wasn't able to be there for her growing up. Let him get adjusted and I'm sure things will smooth out.

When I was in 2nd grade I discovered I had an older sister by my father. His wife before my mother was pregnant when they split and apparently did not tell him. They cut all contact and lived in different states. Her mother died at a young age and she lived with her grandparents, who let her find our father. My sister was 16 when she found my dad and all of us found out. We have tried to connect many times over the years but sadly it never worked out for us.

But I do remember how much it shook my faith in family at that age. I was confused and she was jealous. So I really feel for you... and if you have the opportunity to have a good relationship with her, try to take it.

I had a girl reach out on Facebook and tell me she was my sister. Weird thing is, she went to my school and was in the same grade as my brother. She is a spitting image of my brother with hair, so I know it's true. My dad babied her a bit after meeting her. I didn't care. He's a deadbeat. That was like 3-4 years ago and I have yet to hear from him that I have a sister.

I was actually adopted when I was a baby and just found both my birth mom and birth dad. I think it's normal to worry if you will be replaced and what your relationship will be like with your dad now that she is in the picture. I think it would be best to try and talk to your dad and see if she wants to have a relationship with you or not.

I would definitely meet with her and try to get to know her. He won't tell me anything about her though, not even a first name. It's weird. It's like he still wants it to be secret even though he told us.

I don't know if a real relationship is in the cards. She is 8 years older than me, and at this point in our lives we are who we are. Maybe we'll click and maybe we won't. I've been told I come off mean or harsh when someone first meets me. I'm just upfront and honest and I get that not everyone likes that, but it's who I am. Maybe I'll never actually meet her. If my dad doesn't give anymore details I don't see how I ever would. It's weird to think that she probably knows who I am though ?

I find that odd he won't tell you anything about her? Why is it such a secret?

I found out that I had a sister by my mom when I was 17. She's 6-7 years older than me. I would just embrace it. Life happens.

Do you all have plans to meet her anytime soon?

ETA: my sister and I follow each other on IG and Facebook, we text occasionally, but we will never truly be "sisters". Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be super close with her.

He told us her name. So we do what any normal (nosey and curious) people would do and find her on Facebook.

If she is actually my father's child, I don't see it, which obviously means nothing but both my sister and I look VERY much like our father. Also, I am not optimistic that if we were to ever meet that we would get along. There were a lot of selfies, many statuses stating how she is attractive and knows it and won't apologize for it.

That's not really my style. Okay, not my style at all. I think I know why my dad was being withholding. I think he knows our personalities won't mesh well.

I would be open to meeting though. There's always a chance it's just a social media personality and in reality perhaps she's different. It is doubtful, but I would need to meet her in person to be sure.

Be supportive. My father found out about me when I was 18. At that point he already had a stepdaughter (20 years older than me) and a son (14 years older than me) and was married to my stepmom (the mother of both of them).

I was very lucky that the entire family was supportive and accepted me without question right away.

I would have been devastated if my dad or new siblings had rejected me.

I kinda went through this when I was 19. I was the oldest and felt a bit like I was losing my place in the family because I wasn't the oldest after all.

Now I'm 30 and my big sister is my best friend and my absolute rock. We have dealt with the feelings we both had in the beginning and I'm so glad I've got her in my life.

Hope it all works out for the best.