Irresponsible and insensitive SO

Wow that is pretty childish of him! Does he understand how tight your budget is and that if he loses his job you may lose everything and end up on the street? If not I'd say write out the budget for him and let him see it and make it clear that there is no room for him to lose his job. Also, does he have vacation time? I think if he's tired taking some days or maybe a week off where he can sleep in as much as he wants or at least more than usual can help refresh him. My husband works a lot and I've been on maternity leave and every time I wake up he ends up waking up because we make noise (baby and I) so I get that he's tired and when he took vacation time I let him sleep when baby slept and let him rest as much as possible.

Turn on the lights, get an air horn, and blast the s*** out of him.no way I'd let my husband jeopardize our living situation because he's too damn tired, especially after sleeping 18 hours (I think that was your post?) It's time to kick his lazy ass into gear

It sounds like he's depressed, honestly. The "exausted despite hours and hours of sleep" and being irritated over minor things is like the most common depression signs.

I know it doesnt make it better for you, and you deserve rest too! Have you tried talking to him?

He's being really irresponsible, and he doesn't even have to wake up that early. Throw a cold glass of water in his face and tell his lazy ass he better get up and go to work.

Whenever I try to bring up our finances he tells me he doesn't have the energy to talk or think about it and brushes it off. Depression does make some sense. I know he's stressed about things, God knows I am. It would be so much easier to face it as a team rather than him just trying to avoid it and put it all on my shoulders to deal with. He has a week's vacation but we're putting off him taking it since it's entirely possible that I'll have my daughter early. I had a placental abruption at 34 weeks with my son and spent a week in the hospital before delivering him. I'm not expecting a repeat, but it's entirely possible and if that happens we want him to have paid time off to look after our son while I'm there.

Having read this post and your prior one, I'm very worried for you and your DH. If this is new behavior for your DH (the excessive sleeping and careless attitude about work) I'd be worried about his mental health. Yes, it's childish and irresponsible but if he was a caring partner and good provider previously, I'd check on his physical health (could he have an underlying medical issue making him so tired?) and his mental health (depression? Anxiety?) Is drinking or substance abuse an issue? Is there something stressful going on at work?

He should support you emotionally, show affection in some way and help you care for your son and some of the responsibilities around the house. While the home life is primarily your territory as the sahm, that doesn't absolve him of caring for his children and being a helpful partner to you (especially at the end of your pregnancy.)

Try talking to him in a calm and supportive way. Don't accuse or nag him about his failings (yet.) Just try to figure out what's changed and tell him that you want to help. If that approach doesn't work and he's belligerent or unwilling to try to communicate with you, suggest counseling and a doctor's visit.

Good luck

Wow this is so sad. I cannot imagine how you are feeling! You must be beyond exhausted. As for your husband, I couldn't handle it. Idk how you do. Tell him to go see a doctor. Something isn't right. You don't deserve that. If you really care about him, tell him he needs to get help. He's burnt out from work I'm sure.

This is definitely new behavior. He's always enjoyed sleeping and has always been difficult to wake, but never so stubborn or snappy about it before. He does take medication for ADHD, and has for years. Perhaps the medication isn't working as well anymore, like maybe he's built up a tolerance to it over time. Without the medication he's a complete mess, so I suppose it's entirely possible. That might explain why he doesn't really seem to want to do anything. He can be really lazy if there's ever a time he runs out or anything. He's usually very forthcoming about issues with his ADHD though, so I don't know why he'd be reluctant to talk to me about it now. And I will admit that I could probably be a little more patient when trying to talk to him. I usually am so I don't know if it's hormones making my fuse a bit shorter these days or maybe just exhaustion.

Tell you what after you have the baby you get a job and let him stay home with the kids, and then you will realize how he feels.

@Angela, there's no need to be snippy. After my maternity leave was up when I had my son, I did return to work. He didn't have a job at that point and stayed with our son. After one week, he admitted that he could not do it and begged me to switch with him, although my job at that point was better paying than the one he had been offered. I agreed because it was what he WANTED. You don't always know everything about a situation. I fully understand how stressful working is. I started working at 17 and worked up until my placental abruption (which included a 3 month period of 18+ hour days and no days off while pregnant) and I understand how stressful constantly being home is as well. We only have one vehicle which he takes to work. I can't run errands or go to doctor's appointments without scheduling and planning around his days unless I find another ride. Neither option is easy and full of rainbows. We both make sacrifices.

That was really mean @Angela. What is that supposed to mean? Raising your children and keeping a home is not a job?

He can barely wake up on his own, and that's his only responsibility.

@gullible is there someone else that he can talk to. He probably realizes that you are right but being reminded of that is not motivating him, to him it probably sounds like nagging.

Nagging is only going to make him sleep even more.

I don't see how you can do it, I would go crazy. Do you have any other options for yourself and the kids. Perhaps go to a family members house until he gets it?

Do you have a good relationship with his parents? They know him better than anyone else. Maybe they could offer some advice. I would definitely continue to try to talk to him, and maybe suggest he see a dr about depression. But if he isn't willing to do anything, there is little more you can do to help.

Honestly, and in no way am I trying to be mean when I say this, but I would leave. Pack up, take your DS with you, and go stay with a family member or friend for awhile. He has gotten so used to you being there and doing for him, that he won't do for himself. There is absolutely no excuse for him to be using you as an alarm. If her is going to be selfish enough to lose his job because he's "tired", then there is also no reason for you and the kids to have to suffer along with him. My ex did this to me when we dated before we got married. He lost his job and was put of work for a year. He did nothing. I worked, paid the bills, cleaned the house, and had the stress of everything on my shoulders. It was the worst year of my life. I told him after we had kids that if he ever did that to me again, I was gone. It wasn't the cause of our divorce, but I totally get where you're coming from, and I can't imagine the situation with kids in the mix. But if he is going to throw his hands up and not care where the pieces fall, how much longer are you going to be able to run around behind him picking them up? You are already doing everything alome as it is. So I would emove him as the stress catalyst, and try to forge ahead on your own. He'll either wake up and stop, or continue to be a louse. Ultimately, the decision is up to him. At this point you need to look out for you and the kids.

Going somewhere for a couple days isn't an option for me. My dad and oldest sister live out of state and my other sister shares a small apartment with a roommate. No room for me and a toddler there, haha. His father passed away when he was younger, and his mother has, unfortunately, chosen to have nothing more to do with either of her children. I'm not sure leaving is the answer, anyway. I need to break through to him and get him to talk to me. I definitely plan to bring up a doctor's appointment for him and make sure there's nothing physical going on, and to ask him how he's doing on his prescription. It's become so routine that I don't really think about that aspect of him anymore. Hopefully it's just stress on both ends and we can talk and figure out a plan of attack! I just have to keep my patience, but like pp said, don't nag him.