Heartbroken. Love isn't enough.

Have you ever felt this way in the past? Obviously some of the things relate to your child but that aside, do you think you ever noticed this side to him in the past? I say this as a mother who had bad feelings, particularly of resentment towards my oh when my first and second were still young. Those feelings changed immensely after their first year when I stopped breast feeding and having a baby rely on me so much and I began to see friends and feel as though I gained some of my old self and life back. These feelings you are having might be a sign that things aren't right but they may also be shadowing other feelings you have about yourself or your own life. Think hard about yourself and if you feel as though you have 'lost yourself' since having a baby. Obviously we all do to some extent but I found recognising why my partners actions were effecting me so greatly were to do with my own feelings of inadequacy (and I am by no means saying that is how you feel, just sharing my experience). I have found waiting it out as time seems to be the best in this situation and I always say to new mums to give it time before making any huge decisions, particularly when you are tired and pregnant because you aren't thinking as clearly. Does that make sense? I hope that helps a bit, lots of women have issues early on after a baby and I truly feel that if we were made aware of just how life changing a baby is then we would understand that negative feelings about your relationship can be normal and not necessarily mean you should break up. Also, our partners sometimes really miss having us as our priorities and sometimes even personalities change as the demands of a child come first and that can cause changes in their behaviour. Good luck in your decision and feel free to vent/chat to us, that's what we are here for x

Unfortunately, these feelings have been brewing for a while. I have definitely tried waiting it out but things are only getting worse, not better. He wasn't feeling well yesterday and instead of doing what needed to be done at work and getting out of there so he could rest (he manages a store) he just kept complaining to me about how terrible he felt and how he didn't want to be at work. I used to manage as well before my son was born and I know what goes into the job, and I know that he chooses to stay at work when there's no reason to. Around midnight I finally grew frustrated at his complaining but refusal to do anything about it and broke and asked him what was so important for him to still be there. His response was just that he had "work" to do, then he preceded to say I had attacked him and that it was my fault he didn't want to come home. Obviously this upset me as it made no sense and I told him to just come home and get some rest and we wouldn't talk or argue or anything. When he finally did come home he was very loud, slamming things around. I asked him to be quiet as our son was asleep and is a light sleeper and he said he didn't care and that if he had to be miserable and exhausted I should be, too. Who uses their child as a weapon to punish their SO? I run on about 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night taking care of him and our son. I'm always exhausted and not feeling well but if I say anything about it I'm just trying to make it all about me and make people feel sorry for me.

I am praying for you, I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I don't know if you will want this kind of advice but I will give it to you anyway. Have you guys ever considered going to church? I remember having a lot of problems in my marriage in the beginning. But when my youngest son who is now 7 was 4 months old we decided to go to church to present him and my older son to God. We are Christian so we don't baptize them when they are little. Anyways while we started attending the word of God got a hold of us. We committed our whole life to God. I was able to forgive him and he was able to forgive me. We started a new journey in our life and marriage. God literally turned everything around for good. Now we both are serving God till this day. Yes, we have are ups and downs. We still aren't perfect, but we learned to live according to God's word. And being selfish is something we learned wasn't good for our marriage. Try seeking some counseling. And if he doesn't want to or won't go to church do it for you and your kids. God loves you and has a plan for your life, you just have to seek him. If you want to ask me anything feel free to message me. I will talk to you. :)

My family was never very religious growing up, but I'm open to trying something like that. He grew up Catholic and hasn't been to church since he was in high school. I've brought up many times attending with him because I thought maybe getting back to his roots would help, but each time I'm met with indifference or anger. I feel like unless I'm willing to walk on eggshells constantly and be very careful to never complain or put myself first in any way that it won't work. He got upset with me yesterday for needing to pee when he was heading for the shower. I can't help it our daughter is dancing on my bladder! And he got angry with me this morning because he forgot to set his alarm and I woke him up thirty minutes late. I'm not supposed to be his mother, but his partner.

Yeah, he seems childish. He really needs help. Does his parents know how he is? Maybe getting his dad to talk to him will help. But I don't know how his parents are either. I think the best thing is to start attending on your own if he isn't willing. I have heard many testimony's of women who have gone through the same thing and they decide to fight for there marriage. God has a lot of promises in his word. I don't know if you have a bible or not. But if you do start reading it. I would start in the New Testament. God speaks to us through it. He wants to help you, all you have to do is talk to him through prayer. Have a relationship with him and know that he will never leave you. There is a movie that would be great for you to see. Its called Fireproof and another one called Courageous. They are both awesome movies. You can probably find them at Walmart. I know they will be a blessing for you. :)

They also have a book from fireproof, we have it, but it will also help. The things in the book are for relationships, including a relationship with God. I love that movie, and I think it will help tons, I wish you the best in this time.

I would tell him to get out. He is selfish, rude and childish. Tell him you guys need a break, tell him to find somewhere else to live. Or put a mattress in the babies room, sleep there. Don't talk to him.

He sounds very selfish and inconsiderate to your feelings but like you said you have to look for what's best for your children which is most important my SO works a lot too 12hr shifts sometimes more and he does hard manual labor but he always manages some time to be with us and he never complains we had a talk not that long ago about him being home more and he's changed I told him if he didn't start being home a little more I would be gone I didn't do it for me but for my 17 month old son who misses him children should always be number one