What do you ladies think? :(
What do you ladies think? :(
So I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant and I have an 8 month old son. I was offered a really good job about a month ago and I accepted it. It starts on the 15th of this month. I've been a stay at home mom since the birth of my son. My sister has always been the biggest influence on my life and my best friend since we were children. I'm absolutely heartbroken at what just happened between us. She called me a bad mother for wanting to go back to work, saying I was an idiot for letting a stranger raise my child, and then she made some comment about how pregnant women don't need to be working anyway. She doesn't have any children and doesn't want any. That's her choice and I've always respected that. I will, of course, miss my son terribly while I'm away from him, but I feel it's the best thing for us. We are struggling so bad financially that I'm overly stressed with partial bill payments and lack of money for grocery shopping. I cannot get government assistance unless I lie about the way things are, and I absolutely refuse to do that, though my sister says I should. My living arrangement is unusual, and I can understand her worrying about that, but that's another matter completely. I know many, many mothers that work, and many pregnant women that work. I, myself, worked my entire first pregnancy, up until the day I was admitted to the hospital (early and unexpectedly). What are your ladies' take on me wanting to return to work? Am I being stupid to do so with a baby and another on the way?
deleted-user·
I think that's a wonderful idea to return to working. If you say you're struggling with money, working will help that. I don't think it's silly that you want to work!!
deleted-user·
I think it's your choice. There's no right or wrong answer to wanting/needing to go back to work. If it's something you feel you have to do to make ends meet than who is anyone to say different about it? I would kindly tell your sister that until she has children of her own to leave the raising of your up to you because she clearly doesn't understand what you, as a mother, are going through.
deleted-user·
Awww. I'm sorry girl. It's so hard when your biggest supporters don't agree with your decisions. The fact is, you need the money. And you're NOT a bad mom for providing for your family whatsoever. The job will hopefully keep your mind off of things. Especially when the money starts coming in. I'd give your sister some space for a little bit and then maybe calmly try to talk to her again.
deleted-user·
There is nothing wrong with working. If you need the extra money then it's something you needs to do. I had to back for awhile when my second was about 6 months old because my husband got laid off. I'm home again now but if I needed to I'd go back. I'd rather work than take government assistance especially if you had to be dishonest to qualify. Your sister sounds like she has no idea what she is talking about and should not be giving parenting advice if she isn't one herself.
gullible.the.dinosaur·
Мама сына-младенца, беременна (16 нед.)
Thank you ladies! I'm definitely feeling better about it now. It's hard to swallow because I've been so excited about it. It's with a good company that I can stay with for years and retire from when the time comes. In the area I live, it's hard to come across a job like that. I have wondered if my sister is perhaps a little jealous of the opportunity. She'll be making slightly more than me (like 75 cents an hour) but she hates her job and it's shift work so it's always unpredictable. Mine is set hours and I'll qualify for a raise of $1 to $1.50 after 3 months. That's a huge raise!
deleted-user·
It really comes down to what is best for you and the kids. I have been a sahm since before our first was born, so neary two years and our second is due anyday, I'll say sometimes I would love to be out working and around adults. Your sister doesn't have kids and doesn't know the stress that being home all the time brings. If you want to work and it would make your living arrangements better I say go for it... And nothing says you can't go back to being a sahm if it's to hard to be away from the lo.
deleted-user·
I think that you know your families situation the best and even if its hard for you to go back to work your being very mature and stepping up to help with the bills you'll probably feel better making some extra money right now so seems to be a good choice that doesn't make you a bad mother it makes you a responsible mother I dont agree with your sister she sounds like shes being a bit overly harsh on you