Feeling unappreciated Hi ladies. I'm a stay at home mom with my (almost) 7 month old son. My husband…
Feeling unappreciated
Hi ladies. I'm a stay at home mom with my (almost) 7 month old son. My husband and I agreed that it would be best for me to stay home since child care is so expensive and it would take my entire salary to cover it. At first, things were great, then slowly things started to pile up. I basically do the same thing every day. I keep our home clean, I do all the shopping, I play with my son, I budget all the money-typical day to day activities. It wasn't long before my husband quit appreciating the things I do. He started to take the calm of the household when he got home from work for granted. All I ever ask him to do is take out the garbage from time to time. He refuses, saying he works all day while I sit around and do nothing. Anyone that stays home with a child knows better than that. Lately it's gotten worse. I recently found out I'm pregnant again. It was a surprise but we are excited. However, I have really bad nausea that lasts all day, along with the lack of energy that comes with being pregnant. Some things around the house have been put aside so I make sure I have the energy to properly care for my son. My husband and I argued this morning before he left for work and he said I was using my pregnancy as an excuse to be useless. I almost slapped him right in the mouth for saying that to me. What should I do? Obviously I'm furious that he would think such a thing, but it's not something to end the marriage over. So, given that, how should I approach the situation when he gets home this evening? Any advice?
deleted-user·
Oh my! I'm so sorry you are going through this. :( I had a similar fight with my husband. I've gotten behind on housework being sick and taking care of my high needs step son. My husband said "he does everything". I said if that were true the house wouldn't look this way. It looks this way because I haven't done it, and he also hasn't done it. lol. I dont know how to make him understand. I managed an entire staff before this and up to 97 people. I am not lazy! I don't like feeling like things are slipping either and I don't need him making snide comments or not appreciating me. He has no idea how difficult it is to raise his son who has several diagnosed medical problems (from years of abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect by his bio mom). His parents always helped him before, he has never done it himself. Grrrr. I made him watch the old school movie Mr. Mom last week. Didnt help. Lol. So, I was no help, but in the same boat! You are not alone! Dumb men.
deleted-user·
To be honest, if my fiancé said that to me I would give him his ring back and leave, especially because we have a son who looks up to him. He is showing you complete and utter lack of respect and that's not okay. People like that are almost impossible to change. You deserve so much better than that, you're the mother of his child and pregnant with another. He should be so appreciative of you every day. My only advice is that if he keeps treating you this way even after the baby then you should leave him. You don't want to wake up one day when you're older and realize you stayed with someone who doesn't respect you, and plus your son doesn't need to see that because one day he might treat his wife the same. I'm not judging you, I actually care. Good luck.
deleted-user·
I would give him the baby on a Saturday and give him a list of everything you do during the day and let him do it. Come back and the end of the day and see how he feels after. Then tell him to add nausea to that list and expect you to still do all of that