new poster I don't typically post in blended families, but I thought this would be the best place to…

I'm not sure how, I'm sorry. I don't think there's any easy way. My husband and his ex wife never told her older daughter, they had no intention to (which is wrong in my eyes, but that's how hex wanted to handle it) she ended up finding out when she was a teen and she hasn't had anything to do with him since she turned 18. It's so sad, she calls him and all his family by their names now and barely speaks to them, even tho they were the only family she knew since she was 8 months old. My best friend has known from day one (since she was three) that her dad isn't her bio and she respects him so much and only sees him as dad to this day. Sorry to ramble, I guess what I'm trying to get at is, I think it's better to tell her as soon as possible. Best wishes, and let us kno how it goes mama!!

I definitely want to tell her asap.

I don't feel it's my place to keep something like that from her, even as her mother. I just know it's going to be super confusing for her, and I know she's gonna be hurt, eventually, if not already.

I want her to know exactly how much Dh loves her. And what an amazing thing it is for him to adopt her.

Yea, I think you and him will both have to have many conversations with her, throughout the years. But it sounds like u are great parents and I'm sure you'll handle it just fine ?

If she takes it really hard, maybe look into counseling?

I plan on saying something along the lines of he was just too young to be a dad right then, bc some people take longer to grow up than others.

We have started basic anatomy and puberty talks with her, I just know this going to lead to sex talks and where babies come from lol. I think that is just as intimidating to me as the rest, bc I want to make sure she knows sex is a serious thing, but her bio dad was basically a one time thing. :/

I like the "all families are real" thing, bc I personally hate the "real dad" "real mom" stuff.

I just want to be as clear as possible with her.

I know she is going to be hurt regardless of anything... she's going to be hurt not to have known, bc her bio dad hasn't been around and wonder why...

It's going to happen, and SOON. I just don't want to confuse her more than I have to.

Thank you all for your input so far

My lil bro is adopted and when he started asking where babies came from my mom told him that he came out of another mommy's belly. Not quite similar to your situation but maybe start the conversation that way.

Also I have a cousin whose mom died in a fire and his dad was in jail at the time do his other cousins adopted him. He has no idea he is adopted but everyone else knows so it's only a matter of time and it will be horrible if he found out from someone else....

Good luck