am I overreacting?? My mom watches Layla while me and my fiance work during the day. She has her for…

You should be thankful to your mom for taking care of your daughter while you are working. My mom won't take care if my son for more than an hour and half and cannot stand him crying. For that reason I can't return to work anytime soon and have to take unpaid time off ... Also at this age babies need to be constantly entertained. I am running out of ways to entertain my son so buying more and more toys etc so that they can entertain him for few minutes and I can get things done. Maybe that is why she went with it.

You may have overreacted a little but you're a new mom and have every right to want those firsts with Layla. Your mom should have had a better response and just said something like 'sorry I didn't realize that would upset you'. You are lucky to have your mom to watch her and want to do all she can with her but it's totally fine for you to want her to double check with you also before she does those things.

It's just the same as if you were taking her to a daycare. Are you paying your mom? Your mom has to keep baby entertained and happy. You have to know that your mom (or whoever is caring for your child) will be sharing a lot of firsts with your baby. You will have your own firsts with Layla! I totally understand the feeling of wanting to experience the firsts! With my older son I asked the babysitter not to update me on any new things he did because it made me so sad. I couldn't stand it and we figured out a way for me to be a sahm.

I hope you can talk to your mom and figure out how to make everyone happy and no one is left out.

So I experienced this with my second. I have an aunt who would watch her along with my mom. My aunt was the most annoying. She would actually encourage my daughter to call her mom and accused me of being jealous. She would also spoil her rotten and let her act out. I tried not to say too much because they were not charging me to babysit. So this time around I found a second shift position with my job so that I can be home during the day and my husband at night. It's going to suck but at least we'll be able to raise our kids the way we want to. Good luck! I know it isn't easy

I think unless you are fundamentally opposed to a walker it really isn't an issue...though your story reminded me of when I had my 1st baby and how sensitive I was about potentially missing her 1st anything whilst working fulltime. I made anyone who watched her journal all diapers, feeds, naps. In retrospect I think I was insane.

I think you overreacted ? your mom was just doing something nice for your child. She bought your baby a new toy to play with during the day, to help her grow and learn. I'm sure your mom has yours and baby's best interest in mind. I think it's great that she bought that toy and hopefully continues to buy stuff to play with your kid during the day. Grandmas are supposed to spoil their babies ☺️ Even if you don't get to see all of your baby's "firsts", the first time you see her do something is still y'all's "first". Unfortunately, being a working mom, you are going to miss a lot of firsts, just a fact that no one likes, but a reality. I hope you and your mom work it out, it's a great thing to have close family keep your littles.

A tad bit overreacting ?

I'm just upset she gets to see Layla more during the day, than we do. I did kinda take it out on her, but I am VERY thankful she watches her. I did apologize to her.

Yeah you're overreacting BUT you wanted to be the first one to do that with her and that's 100% ok. It's like damn... Lol.

@ op, sincerely I think it's pretty awesome you have been to so quickly recognize the root of your feelings. I'll say this, my oldest is off to K tomorrow & she has no memory of me not being her primary daytime caregiver as an infant. I didn't experience every "first" with her, but I did experience many many of them. And, having lost my own mom when I was in my early 20s prior to my kiddos birth, I do embrace anyone who will love my children as best I can. You're doing great, it is a constant balancing act, and one you have to constantly readjust as they grow.

How about you ask and encourage your mom to document and record those firsts on video? That way you won't miss those initial responses and reactions to new big toys like the walker. It's not as good as being there in person but you can watch over and over if it's recorded.

And by the way, you are doing an excellent job with your family. You should be proud. Guilt is a normal part of having someone (anyone) else taking care of your child for any length of time. But it takes a village and you are blessed to have someone to help who loves your baby.

Try this little exercise, if it helps great, if not it won't hurt to try. Feel the guilt, give it 20 minutes the first day to just wallow in it but only 20. Next day 15, next day 10, then 5, then 2. Just take those guilt minutes and wallow. Cry, write it down, whatever you need to do. Then let it go. Don't let your guilt steal you from your work or your family. Give it a few minutes and that's it. Know you are strong and your love for your family is strong and you are doing a great job.

This goes for all of you!!