I dont blame you. I grew up the same way and ive gave my mother plenty of chances. Sometimes there is nothing you can do when you give them benefit of the doubt. I have chosen to not allow my mother in my sons life because I dont want him to be disappointed and feel the way I did growing up. Some people cant change its really a decision you will have to make and think of what is best for your son.
Such a hard decision, she's not a horrible person or anything. She just personally victimizes herself. And I'm a very blunt person and I will tell you how I feel, and it always hurts or feelings or whatever. When it's me it's like okay she lied again but when she lied about getting my son stuff, it really got me thinking. Thanks for your response.
I don't think your over reacting at all. Like I don't want my sister apart of my sons life because all she does is trash talk about me and too me. I don't want my son around that. Now I understand that she will be at Christmas and thanksgiving and family events but my son will NOT be allowed to be alone with her or go to her house.
Sounds liek she has an unhealthy view on money. Its not "wrong" for a kid not to get Christmas presents, like that is not something that a child is entitled to. I think its sad though! Its definitely wrong if I parent is using the money that should be spent on healthy food/shelter/clothing and spending it on themselves for thigns they dont really need. Im so sorry to hear you were physically abused. There were obviously a lot of issues in the home.
There are more ways to love someone than with things, but its not okay to like lord gifts over someone or use stuff as a bargaining peice. At the end of the day it is just stuff-character, relationships, love is so much mroe important. This is not about the stuff its about the fact that your mom has some character issues (dont we all). You jusdt have to decide if it is a relationship breaker for you
Thank you all, I'm not one to really hold grudges. I've learned from her mistakes and it'll make me a way better mama to my boys. Just a tad but annoying and getting a little frustrated by her lies. ? if I do decide to let her be apart of their lives, I'll just have to teach them not to really expect anything from her, which is sad. Maybe I'm just hormonal.
My mom's grandmother had a habit of making things up. Nobody ever got a straight answer out of her and she'd say that people owed her things that she probably never gave them... When my mom found out she had been telling our family members about spending all sorts of time with my sister and I (when in reality she'd only asked for our pictures and never asked to actually see us) my mom decided to cut off contact. People who aren't honest can be incredibly toxic. My mom didn't want us to think that her behavior was acceptable or normal. It's hard to cut loved ones out of your life but you need to decide based on what's best for your child.
My mom was in and out my whole life bc of either drugs or mental issues. Like yours she "tried her best" and 2 years ago I had to cut her off completely bc she was mentally unstable and I wouldn't have my daughter around that like I was. Didn't speak to her for a year and neither did my whole family but she reached out and I was curious. She actually cleaned her act up and is on meds! I think it took everybody cutting her off to make her realize. Our relationship is so much better and we actually get along. Its different for everybody but follow your gut.
I don't blame you. Don't let her be a part of your sons life until she shows you she's changed or gives you a reason to let her be. Sounds like she has some major growing up to do. Prayers sent your way!
I think all of you are right, it just may be cutting her off for her to realize I'm not playing anymore! Because she lives 14 hours away, my nieces and nephews only know her by the sound of her voice on the phone, when she visits they won't know her at all, I just can't see me letting my son around someone who will say they will do something and then don't, it's pretty petty but I'm extremely hurt over this, I guess because this time it's for my son, not me.
deleted-user·
I dont blame you. I grew up the same way and ive gave my mother plenty of chances. Sometimes there is nothing you can do when you give them benefit of the doubt. I have chosen to not allow my mother in my sons life because I dont want him to be disappointed and feel the way I did growing up. Some people cant change its really a decision you will have to make and think of what is best for your son.
Krystal Ryan·
Such a hard decision, she's not a horrible person or anything. She just personally victimizes herself. And I'm a very blunt person and I will tell you how I feel, and it always hurts or feelings or whatever. When it's me it's like okay she lied again but when she lied about getting my son stuff, it really got me thinking. Thanks for your response.
deleted-user·
I don't think your over reacting at all. Like I don't want my sister apart of my sons life because all she does is trash talk about me and too me. I don't want my son around that. Now I understand that she will be at Christmas and thanksgiving and family events but my son will NOT be allowed to be alone with her or go to her house.
deleted-user·
Sounds liek she has an unhealthy view on money. Its not "wrong" for a kid not to get Christmas presents, like that is not something that a child is entitled to. I think its sad though! Its definitely wrong if I parent is using the money that should be spent on healthy food/shelter/clothing and spending it on themselves for thigns they dont really need. Im so sorry to hear you were physically abused. There were obviously a lot of issues in the home.
There are more ways to love someone than with things, but its not okay to like lord gifts over someone or use stuff as a bargaining peice. At the end of the day it is just stuff-character, relationships, love is so much mroe important. This is not about the stuff its about the fact that your mom has some character issues (dont we all). You jusdt have to decide if it is a relationship breaker for you
deleted-user·
You can always tell her once a situation comes up not to say things you dont mean. Its really a difficult situation
Krystal Ryan·
Thank you all, I'm not one to really hold grudges. I've learned from her mistakes and it'll make me a way better mama to my boys. Just a tad but annoying and getting a little frustrated by her lies. ? if I do decide to let her be apart of their lives, I'll just have to teach them not to really expect anything from her, which is sad. Maybe I'm just hormonal.
deleted-user·
My mom's grandmother had a habit of making things up. Nobody ever got a straight answer out of her and she'd say that people owed her things that she probably never gave them... When my mom found out she had been telling our family members about spending all sorts of time with my sister and I (when in reality she'd only asked for our pictures and never asked to actually see us) my mom decided to cut off contact. People who aren't honest can be incredibly toxic. My mom didn't want us to think that her behavior was acceptable or normal. It's hard to cut loved ones out of your life but you need to decide based on what's best for your child.
deleted-user·
My mom was in and out my whole life bc of either drugs or mental issues. Like yours she "tried her best" and 2 years ago I had to cut her off completely bc she was mentally unstable and I wouldn't have my daughter around that like I was. Didn't speak to her for a year and neither did my whole family but she reached out and I was curious. She actually cleaned her act up and is on meds! I think it took everybody cutting her off to make her realize. Our relationship is so much better and we actually get along. Its different for everybody but follow your gut.
deleted-user·
I don't blame you. Don't let her be a part of your sons life until she shows you she's changed or gives you a reason to let her be. Sounds like she has some major growing up to do. Prayers sent your way!
Krystal Ryan·
I think all of you are right, it just may be cutting her off for her to realize I'm not playing anymore! Because she lives 14 hours away, my nieces and nephews only know her by the sound of her voice on the phone, when she visits they won't know her at all, I just can't see me letting my son around someone who will say they will do something and then don't, it's pretty petty but I'm extremely hurt over this, I guess because this time it's for my son, not me.