I can’t help but feel aggravated at my SO all the time. He works m-f and does whatever he wants…

@babyjjsmommy #1was he always this way....? No way would I have more children with a man who doesn't be a father everyday..your not a robot...your his wife..a woman .not just a mommy and about to have another child..Sit down and tell him WHAT you expect FROM HIM to do daily with his child...for the way your living it's like your a single mom ..get up .shower do your make up.hair..make yourself feel good. ..wishing u better days ahead

I understand what your going thru girly. Being trapped inside the house all the time and having to do the same thing over and over and over again can drive you nuts. They just don’t get it. I try to explain to my husband all the time and tell him get me out the house before i go insane. I need attention. He said he will but nothing happens. He always went back to school so now works till 6 then has school till 10. 😔😩 ugh so yea I feel you girl.

@sherrynygirl, that’s how I feel a lot of the time besides him paying the bills. He’s not my son’s bio dad, met him when he was a year old, but he is my son’s only dad. It’s just frustrating, especially when he comes home and just sits on the couch on his phone or watching tv. Damn, I get lonely and bored with hardly any adult interaction. I was in school and working so I at least had that interaction up until a few weeks ago. Now I’m anticipating going back to work even though at the same time I want to be home with my babies, especially my newborn. But I also crave conversation, and most of the time he cannot even have a serious conversation. It’s so effing irritating. We go to his parents and he just purposely pisses me off the entire time saying annoying shit and his mom even tried to get him to stop but it just makes me not even want to go. I mean every once in awhile he could talk positively about me instead of being an asshole trying to be funny. I’m definitely worried life with a newborn is going to separate us completely because he’s in way over his head, if he can’t even buy the petty last things we need for her, how the hell could i expect him to help take care of her.

@mar_la,

Id say he’s not worth your time. I understand you might wana make it work for the baby but honestly he’s not putting you guys first he’s putting everything else before you guys and thats not right.....i would talk with him about it and then if not id be walking away....

@heera, every time I talk to him it’s like my feelings are invalid and I shouldn’t be feeling that way, but it’s so easy to look at the situation and know how I feel before talking to him. He just doesn’t understand or ever see where I am coming from but tried to say he does. It’s like he always throws it back on me. Like he has said repeatedly this month took a lot out of him money wise and I understand to an extent, but he’s also put off getting these same items for months because he said we don’t need them yet or he didn’t have the extra money, just an excuse! Now he says wait till next month.. I’m due June 4th and probably will deliver before then! So I just don’t understand. If you have the money why not get the things you need! I can’t help that I don’t have an income right now, though I wish that I did. As the provider that SHOUOD be his job right now. He always says I can ask about the money and what he has but he never shows me. And why would I ask when the one time I did, he said he had 100$ to his name in all seriousness and then decided to tell me weeks later he actually had thousands as if it was nothing. After stressing me out for those weeks and making me feel guilty.!

I’m sorry you are going through this and let me just say, you are really pretty! 😍 too pretty to be dealing with kind of bs, just tell him things how it is, there are things that need to be bought and right now there’s a priority which is the baby on the way. You are 37 weeks, like you said, you could have the baby at any moment and you need to be prepared. Start thinking about what you want for your life long term... is this the relationship you want? What if he never changes? You don’t have to stay with someone because you have a child (or children) with them. There are better things out there in this world. From personal experience I spent 5 years with a person that didn’t really give me the time of day, I felt the same as you, frustrated because he use to come home to play video games or watch tv after working 8-9 hours a day and I needed my parter to talk to. I had 2 babies with him, I use to pray for a man that would give me love, attention, real affection (not bs affection for sex) & I would pray everyday. Day after day I lived the same life, caring for my kids — which I loved, don’t get me wrong. But I was 22, I had just had my 2nd son, I was getting back in shape, I was about to be 23 and I felt like I was living the wrong life. Like something huge was missing. Couple days after hitting 23, my youngest was 5 months old, I had finally built up the courage and left him. I was done begging for attention and love, I knew that there was something better and if not it’s better to be alone that way you stress less. 2/3 months after I left him, I was focused on work to provide for my kids, I met my bf. Who of course isn’t perfect but since the day I met him, his life has been all about me. Even with 2 kids, I didn’t think someone would walk into my life and take on everything I had going on. I had major trust issues & I was cold hearted. But he warmed me with affection and love and til this day (almost 3 years later) he is still the same person & he is SO different. He’s excited about his daughter, he talks to her everyday in there, he is attentive and always ready to do anything I want or need. Even if it’s something as crazy as wanting mangoes at 4 am lol I’m sorry this is so long but I really feel like if this happened to me, it could happen to you. Sometimes we invest time and energy into the wrong person and feel down and aggravated but it can’t work with the wrong person. Your guy has a choice, he can change but in my experience they change for a little & go back to the same shit, it’s like they forget. That was my ex’s MO & I use to get so happy only to be let down again. I hope this doesn’t discourage you in any way, I just want you to know that it doesn’t have to be like that! You deserve more!

Please don’t take this the wrong way, bcuz trust me I’ve been deeply in love before and just took everything the guy was throwing at me bcuz i loved him and didn’t see the wrong in him everytime someone would as me this but.....why are you still with him if he treats you like this? You and those babies deserve so much more than someone who isn’t guna put you guys first.....it’s his child too....really messed up...there should always be some kind of compromise at least like ok we will do half now and half later.....that’s ridiculous...im sorry...

Girl I went through the exact same thing when I was pregnant. My solution: I stopped cooking, I stopped cleaning, I stopped having sex with him. You can't spend time with your family. Well I can't give my time to you. It worked. Sometimes I even took weekends away.

I see a shopping trip in his very near future. You, at the hospital beautiful baby in arms

Him at target, the cart loaded.

"Honey, I need you to pick up these few things before we had home" And hand over list lol!

But this is a big adjustment for you both. I assume this is how he wound down in the afternoons when you were working, you just feel differently now?

Keep communicating, and do it kindly. Also do things that make you happy! Go out and about, plan trips to the park. Just you and you and your son.

You want to go out with him, you might have to do the planning. You might need to let him know what days you expect him to be home with you, say to have a date night in with a movie.

Express your concerns about finances. If you two are living together, and are staying together you should be fair and open about finances. If you are not combining finances perhaps it would be better to have a set amount he contributes per month and whatever extra he does is awesome. Not like child support because I assume he's already paying at least a portion of shelter, food etc... but a bit of $ for things like clothing and such that you may habe to purchase.

If you are combining finances it really needs to be clear to both of you exactly what you have and a budget set.

Buying up hunting property is something you need to talk about as I'm sure your not going to be thrilled to be left alone Extra besides his normal work hours with a newborn and a small child.

I hope he truly hears you and that things improve one she is here. Good luck!

@babyjjsmommy I understand seriously.i have been with my younger 2

son's father This April 17 yrs..he treated my 1st like his own.which made me love him more.. I'm all for actions speak way louder than words..when a woman had a child I believe we bond instant w our baby growing in our womb..Some men need actual visuals..meaning they are very visual w many things in their life yes even seeing their child for the first time..the more your belly grows it'll seem more real...I waited 7yrs to have another baby after my first child I knew I never wanted to go thru that type of controlling... manipulated situation.abuse..one thing for sure I always had a good job/carreer so I can take care of myself and my children..Your man is about to be a dad ..not s part time dad but...a dad he needs to stop his bullshit w just leaving and going wherever he please regardless if you were having children ..he seems inconsiderate .and spending money on thing's without asking when you have a partner.... I'm here if u need to vent 💓 I was a teen Mom at 16 ... I'm 39 now have been thru plenty..I don't judge women the shit we do for love or to keep our families together

@leslyev92, @heera, @qwiona, @tbree121, @sherrynygirl, it’s just so aggravating because we don’t have a baby bath, a baby monitor, bottles etc. I ended up buying the things for breastfeeding that I needed, stuff to clean bottles and pump parts, etc. Maybe I’m crazy but I feel like those things are necessary, especially with me having a toddler. I’m going to be home by myself all day everyday and trying to get a routine going with breastfeeding, naps, etc. what happens when she spits up all over herself within the first week and I don’t have this bath to lay her on and sponge bathe her? Yeah I could make do and jump in the bath with her and my toddler, but seriously that sounds like a nightmare. When I’m already going to be in pain, bleeding everywhere, etc, you’d think things like that wouldn’t be such a big deal to get.. it’s 15$. Oh and a baby monitor, because when my toddler is wide awake during the day, running around crazy, I’ll probably need to put her in her room and it would be nice to have something to ensure that she is okay instead of walking in and checking every 5 minutes risking disturbing her sleep because you already know my son will be trailing behind me. I could go on and on. He just thinks it’s okay to get this all after the fact, but my thing is, if you have the money in the bank (plus some, and savings) why would you wait?! Especially when it’s making me anxious and it could be one less thing I have to worry about, especially since I already have enough to worry with. I mean he was gone from like 6 am to 6 pm today, and he barely spoke to me. I guess he thinks that it’s ok because he comes over to kiss me and says love you babe once he gets home and that’s it. Just like every other day. Little to no conversation, no how was your day, and it seriously irritates me and disgusts me because it’s like he feels like that’s enough, like that makes up for everything else and he doesn’t have to speak to me anymore or do anything other than go watch tv and relax until he falls asleep 10 minutes later. And expects me to cook him what he wants for dinner and then clean everything afterwards. Meanwhile, I’m tired too and I’m the one bathing and putting our son to sleep every night. At almost 38 weeks, I see no hope of getting my son into his own bed, and I almost don’t want to now because I don’t want him to think the baby is taking his place, since that would be a rather quick adjustment. He just says well I’ll just have to sleep in his bed with him. 1. He’s not going to fit, 2. He hasn’t attempted that the 5 months we’ve had the damn thing, so when life gets even harder why on earth would I expect more effort? So now I’ve got to mentally prepare to basically function as a single mom, cosleeping with my son and having the baby in the bassinet (hopefully) beside my bed. But hey, it is what it is, if she refuses to sleep in the bassinet we’ll all sleep in the bed and he will be forever kicked to the couch. The way I see it, if you don’t want to help so you can get back in the bed, then just say the hell away from me. I can guarantee you the last thing I’ll feel like doing is running in the living room to wake him up to get him to change a diaper or something, I’m just going to end up doing it all myself since I’m breastfeeding anyway.

@babyjjsmommy yeah I get that entirely. Men sometimes don't get the gravity of what it takes and how much money it takes to raise a child. You have to show him. Like maybe one day leave him home with your son. Show him just what it takes. And as for the things you need, just call his parents and ask for a some money to get these things. Now if they raised him right, they'll give it to you, but he'll get the backlash from them for having to do that. If that doesn't work there's several solutions. And if you REALLY want to get dramatic, pack your bags and put them by the door. He'll get the picture and if he doesn't see, then at that point maybe you should save up enough money to leave him. But that's like a last resort cause no one wants to leave the person they love. So just give him different alternatives. And also try texting him to tell him how you feel. Your emotions might come out better on paper

So tell him that. Tell him you need these things now, not after the baby is here! It’s so unfair for him to put these things on the back burner as if they weren’t important enough. It’s important for the baby... it’s not even about you. It’s for the LO’s comfort.

@qwiona, I agree w you, asking his parents will get him backlash from them + you’ll get those things from them or him.

@qwiona, @leslyev92, That wouldn’t work, anytime he’s alone with my son he just drags him over with him to his parents house and then usually goes to the gym or the store and lets his mom watch him. He’s like a child, he cannot just stay at our own house and be the parent. Which includes feeding, changing, etc. as needed. I definitely do better texting it rather than face to face because again, he always makes me feel unreasonable or like my feelings are irrelevant and invalid in person. Ive told him and he just says he’s had a lot to pay for this month, as if he doesn’t get paid every week and whatever’s taken out is replenished plus some. The only thing with asking his parents is that they already do so much for us, and I don’t want to ask them for more, especially when it’s his job! He’s just ridiculous.

@babyjjsmommy well send him a raging text telling him exactly how you feel and let it be known that what he won't do someone else will. And tell him that things need to change fast otherwise you're leaving. And you should also have a talk with his parents, let them know that they need to stop helping for awhile until he gets it together. If that doesn't work, put your bags by the door. Don't leave, just pack them and put them by the door. He'll take you seriously hopefully