Nightmares about my birth

I'm so sorry you and your baby went through such a distressing experience. All I can offer is a virtual hug xXx ❤

That's awful I'm so sorry you had suck a terrible experience... I have struggled to come to terms with my son's birth as he was premature and I'm now pregnant again... I didn't seek any help for how I felt about it but I have had to with another birth happening this year... I was able to access 2 things which really helped 1. I was able to speak to a consultant who talked me through his birth notes step by step and answered my medical questions about it and 2. My midwife gave me contact details for a birth afterthoughts service where you can speak informally and confidentially about the birth and how you are feeling... I would 100% recommend both and I wish I had done it earlier ad I struggled for 2 years with how I felt about it and suffered really nad anxiety when actually both these things really helped me... If you're still under health visitor care then you should speak to a Health Visitor about it, if not then speak to your GP, they should be able to at least point you in the right direction! Please don't suffer in silence xxxxx

Get help there is support out there i had a similar experience with my first baby and was like u eventually i moved on and had my second 4 months ago x

So happy to hear you both are healthy and doing good!!

One thing I learned throughout

My life I really wanted to share with you is that playing the what if game can be detrimental to ones sanity and life. Do not ask yourself anymore what if questions if you can, because it will seriously just drive you crazy. I have done this so many times and it just makes it worse. Try to

Stay positive and just remember that you did what was best for both you and your blessed baby boy and he is happy with his mommy regardless of what happened and how he came into this world.

I wish you all of the best and please try to stay positive!! ❤️

So, similar thing happened to me. By baby was already down birth canal when she got into distress. She was a 'high forceps delivery'. The Dr's and midwives were shouting and getting panicked. I'm also an ED nurse so (but little or no obs/gynae experience) so I only half knew what they were shouting about but believe me I got the gist!!! My baby was about 5 minutes old before I even laid eyes on her, we also didn't know if she was a girl or boy. I just lay there trying to look over while the paediatric team looked after her. Thank God everything was ok but I'll never ever forget. For about 6-9 months after her birth I would spontaneously start crying about it. Lasting only a few mins until I gathered myself again. I wouldn't have said I was depressed but I definitely was 'shook' by the whole experience. Maybe a touch of Post traumatic stress disorder so says my husbands friend who works in psychiatry. I'm not really a dramatic person so I don't really put that long name on it. It took me about 2 months to talk to my husband about it and only after a blazing row! But that panicked feeling did settle.

I'm now 39+1 and the anxiousness is starting to creep back in. I've spoken to my Dr's and they seem to fob me off with 'every labour is different' line. My next app is Wednesday so I'm really going to push for a exact plan of delivery to avoid the same situation as last.

Wow, sorry didn't realise I went on for so long,. Maybe I'm just getting it off my chest too! I don't really have any advice but I suppose I just wanted to let you know that I've been/am there too. If you start drowning in the panic please talk to someone. I'll be thinking of you, ❤️.

@mollymoo81 aww Hun thankyou for your comment it means a lot I will be thinking of you too xx

Tbh I think graces birth was a massive contributor to me suffering pnd I almost lost grace x when you go for your check up I'd def recommend talking to the dr about this and discussing counselling x

I had a similar experience but I didn't even go into labour, reduced movement, 5 mins monitoring, within 9 minutes she was delivered via emergency c section. We didn't even see our daughter until she was 6 hours old. She also had died inside me.. We were then drip fed information... Cpr done for 10 mins, blood transfusions etc. I felt fine when she was in neonatal, but the second we were allowed home it started.

The nightmares, the panic, the crying and the uncontrollable feeling that I had failed her.

All I kept saying was "I couldn't carry her properly, and I couldn't deliver her safely" which I felt i had with my other 3.

Two weeks ago (when primrose was 3 weeks) I went to clinic as I was sure she was dying and just sat in front of the other mums and cried.. They instantly called my doctor and I'm now seeing a counsellor and talking things through. They don't think I have post natal depression, rather post traumatic stress. I have flashbacks and moments when I can't feel I can breath for worrying I'm going to sleep and she'll stop breathing, but I am getting better.

They've also arranged for us to meet the team that delivered her to explain what exactly happened as we both missed out and knowledge will give us closure... Maybe ask for the same? Xx