Tween/Teen Dating advice needed

No dating until 16 in our home. My "baby" turns 16 next month so I'm considering pushing it to 30 ??

@Nancy I feel the same. My son is willful though and if he was anything like I was (bless my parents hearts) he'll just go behind my back. They're together all day at camp already as it is.

ETA: so I want established rules like no texting, phone calls only with door open and chaperoned at all times when together but I'm so lost and confused.

Group dates were allowed prior, but he never asked. He has a phone, but I'm allowed access. I also have passwords to all his devices. He has no social media accounts, but if he did- I get the password. Thankfully none of his friends are into them.

I say no girls in his bedroom, but Dh says they'll just go somewhere else ? so doors open will be our rule.

Dd is not quite 11 so we aren't there yet, but I've been trying to figure out what's most important to me and what rules/limits will be most useful. My personal belief is that forbidding dating only leads to lying on the kids part, and you can't control how another person feels.

Have you ever sat down and talked with your 12yo about dating and relationships and boundaries? That would definitely be a good place to start.

@pp. Yup, we've had the dating talk as well as the "TALK". According to him having a girlfriend is like having a super best friend who is pretty lol.

But we set boundaries. Hand holding is ok, but no kissing and they are not allowed to be alone together. It's a camp rule too that boys and girls aren't to be alone together so I feel good about that.

I definitely agree with the door open rule too.

I know this is kinda tough, but my daughter and I agreed no dating until she's 18. She has shown interest in certain boys, but she doesn't hang out with them or call them, etc. a crush is harmless. She knows that she has the rest of her life to date & is currently dedicated to school and sports. And those keep her pretty busy :)

My son is far from dating but I can talk from experience. My parents didn't want me to date until I finished high school, that didn't happen, I just hid it. At 12 I think group "dates" are appropriate since they're mostly just hanging out with other kids their age. Also let them know they are welcome in your home but not allowed to be alone in his room. Yes it's ideal to make kids wait until they're older to date, but if they really want to date someone they'll do it with or without your knowledge so it's better to be supportive and involved.

I really like the idea of group dates and setting boundaries. I'm also going to make sure he knows school and activities (track and band) come first. I absolutely agree though that I don't want him dating this young and would be so happy if he could wait a few more years but I'm not gonna tell him no and risk him sneaking around. His dad, me and DH are also encouraging him to talk to anyone of us about anything without fear of reprimand. I think just being involved may be a good step. I'm just so not ready for this, I want my baby boy back ?

Thank you for the advice so far. This is definitely one of the most helpful groups I've been in.

At that age, I told my dd that she could have a boyfriend, but they could only talk on the phone. I did similar to that from a very young age (like kindergarten ?).

My dd is now 16 and still has never had a boyfriend thankfully!