Rant Sooooo, I'm just at a loss for what to do right now. All summer I've been taking my step kids to camp 40 minutes…

Were you even asked or basically just told you have them all day. I wouldn't do it if it was demanded. I'd tell them both maybe a couple days a week but not everyday....you need mommy time especially with a new baby. Also my dh would be getting An earful bc why is ok for bm to say she's taking them out bc she don't wanna drive but when you say it it became an argumebt

I'm so sorry momma. It sounds like both DH and his ex are using you as free childcare/free transportation without any regard for your thoughts or feelings, or your new baby and his needs.

While normally in a blend we all pitch in and help because we want to and we love our skids, you sound like you're overwhelmed and these decisions are being made FOR you not WITH you.

How do you see this playing out? It sounds to me like you don't want to be around these kids, so are you making an exit plan? Because they're always going to be around if you're with DH.

This makes me sad, I remember your original post how you didn't want to make the drive but you ended up doing it. It's not fair, and all of a sudden HEX wants to split the week wth you, why couldn't she do that to begin with. Is there any family you could go to with your baby to get away? Where is HEXs family and DHs family to help with the load?

It sounds like you need to remind DH who he is married to. What is your actual visitation schedule?

If you can afford it why not a pre school/daycare a few days a week. If you can't you might just have to deal for a few more weeks. I would personally be ok with hex allowing us to have skids instead of paying for child care.

I know every blend is different but in mine DH is little help when it comes to parenting, skids always act perfect for him so he doesn't see the problem ? I would sit down with SS explain to him that he must respect you or there will be consequences. If DH or hex has a problem with you parenting a child that you take care of all day then let them figure out where he will go during the day.

When summer plans were made, dh told hex he wanted the kids for the summer. He didn't really check with me, he brought it up while on the phone with hex and we never discussed it. I also didn't know how far the camp was until two days before, that's also when I found out it's only open mon-thurs.

I got dh to ask hex if we could split the week or go week on/off but she said no.

So I've been doing this for 6 weeks now, and I'm just finished with this. The kids don't want to go to the camp either because it's "military style". So they complain and drag their feet every morning and ss just gives so much attitude and doesn't listen.

He doesn't listen to his parents either, so for some reason they expect him to listen to me. My husband is always yelling at him, and I know hex smacked him so hard in his face a few months ago, she left a mark. But I'm supposed to deal with him without yelling.

Dh doesn't have any family on this side of the country, my parents are a few hours away, but hexs family is within walking distance of her house. She also doesn't work, so me not wanting the kids is only getting in the way of her hangout time.

Hex doesn't work??? ? oh heck no there is no reason for you to have them all day if she's not doing anything. It sounds like you and DH need to have a serious talk. The few times DH has left me with skids alone after I've asked him not to I'd leave the minute he got home. If he expects you to be home with all day with them then why can't he be. It worked lol.

I have a few friends who are in blends, they don't work so they will keep the kids during the day and the dad picks them up when he is off work. Maybe something like this so he could spend time with them and you get to keep your sanity.

It would be one thing if they could behave themselves but not if they or SS are going to act that way.

She's on her ass all day?!?

Just say no. The final deciding factor of sending ss was I said I was gonna lose my temper one day and end up charged with child abuse. There's only so much even a perfect human can endure and I'm far from perfect. I told dh when that happens I'll be in prison and he'll lose all the kids because I'll straight up say I warned him.

They say you're gonna snap but they behave the way you described? At some point they have to take responsibility too. Maybe ss needs to go to an away military camp. Ha! I know they're outrageously expensive.

Yea she sometimes subs during the school year, or she'll do paperwork for a real estate agency every now and then. But according to the cs paperwork she only makes 700 a month. She doesn't have a good work ethic, which is where I'm sure ss learned how to be lazy.

I'm never privy to these conversations where they make these plans, but I'm sure my husband is asking to keep them as much as possible. It doesn't make sense to me though because he comes home from work, we eat dinner, then the kids go play alone before getting ready for bed. He's not really spending any more time with them. I'm still the one doing everything, and I have so much more patience with them. He gets frustrated with sd while she's reading and yells at her. She's 6 and still learning; it just discourages her and she cries.

Every night there's yelling and sometimes crying depending on which kid he's yelling at. I didn't grow up with people yelling at each other every night, and I don't want my daughter to have to listen to that either.

They're both taking advantage of you. Put your foot down!

When SD would come to visit it was my responsibility to do camp drop offs and DH did pickups. One year I did both because the camp was near my work, but made sure to choose one close to home so he could help. Eventually I found the drop offs pushed my day back too much and I was getting home super late from work, plus SD was old enough to take herself too and from camp (12), which is in our neighbourhood. DH refused. It wasn't until I said I was done and made it his responsibility that he became ok with finding another way.

Sometimes you need to simply put your foot down and leave the bios to deal with their child without you when you're being taken advantage of.

In your case, taking the skids out of camp doesn't help, instead it makes life more difficult for you it seems. Can you guys not find a camp closer to home that wouldn't be such a hassle of DD4mos? What about DH altering his work schedule to do the drop offs and pickups on the days you guys have them? In your shoes, I would refuse to have SS all day if he's rude and disrespectful, and they won't allow you to correct him. Being a step doesn't mean that you're allowed to be walked on and disrespected. More than anything else, DH needs to learn how to parent with you, not independent of you yet expect you to carry the load.

Who's we? I wouldn't be comfortable if my husband was talking to his ex wife about being worried that I'm going to flip out on the kids. Do she really need that kind of ammo? That's something he should talk to you about, whether he thought you were going to flip out or not. And if they're own mother isn't concerned about that drive I wouldn't be either. Why is it up to you to make sure you get them there? You have a baby to look after. Not fair to put it all on you like that. What is the situation with you having to watch them. The whole summer. Do y'all got full custody?

That's a good point☝️! He's telling hex he's worried you'll snap? Id snap at that.