Are we being ridiculous?
Are we being ridiculous?
So I worked like 14 hours yesterday. Apparently people love to eat in a restaurant on thanksgiving. ? well dh,mil and the kids came to eat at my work. Mil was letting ds suck on a spoon with a little bit of potato soup and she decided she wanted to use the spoon for her mashed potatoes. So she dipped it in dhs drink (water) and swished it around to clean it. I got him another drink but that's kinda gross IMO. Well after she did it dh was like "why'd you do that? That was my drink?" She (a narcissist) took this as a personal attack and started crying saying he was being mean to her. ? she dropped him and the kids off at home and left for the rest of the day. Then today his dad called him yelling at him saying mil told him how dh yelled at her and made a scene. Like wtf really? He apologized if it seemed like he was mean but he didn't think it was necessary. He doesn't understand why she didn't just say sorry and drop it. Now she's making it huge deal and saying he ruined her visit. (She left this morning) I don't know, would y'all mind if that happened to you? It's not like he made a scene he just got a little irritated. Like she could've used the napkin cloth to wipe it.
deleted-user·
Guilt tripping at it's finest. What she did was gross, and she could've asked you for some water?? Yeah no I'd be upset and speak up about it myself.
Thisisfeeney·
She told me she didn't see a problem and that she was cleaning his child's spoon off. But his water was all cloudy and gross. I said "why didn't you use your water?" She just rolled her eyes. So I walked away haha.
deleted-user·
I feel like you have every right to be upset. I would be too!
My MIL has a habit of sharing her spoon and drinks with my son & she has this thing I forget the name but she coughs a lot. Even coughs up mucus at times so I think it’s gross when she tries sharing with my son. I tell my SO and he’ll tell her politely cause I don’t want her to take it in the wrong way from me.
deleted-user·
Mother or not, you shouldn't go cleaning your spoon off in someone's drink. That's disgusting and quite rude. She should have used a napkin. That's what they are for after all. ? I would have said something as well. She's acting like a child. There's no excuse for her behavior. It also sounds like his father coddles her.
deleted-user·
Yeah that’s nasty. Use a napkin ffs.
Thisisfeeney·
Thanks ladies. I really didn't think we were being ridiculous. Well either way she's gone now back to Texas. I'm happier.
deleted-user·
You're not ridiculous. She's nuts.
I'd seriously consider serving her potato soup every time she comes to your house.
deleted-user·
I think she's in the mindset that he's her baby still and something she probably used to do with him. She could have used her own water if it wasn't a big deal lol.
Thisisfeeney·
Jnb your conclusion would make sense with a mother who actually cared for her kids like that. Lol. But unfortunately she is a narcissist. Like textbook narcissist. Dh has been treated like s*** his whole life. She's nuts. She does things just to get reactions out of us and then starts crying and sobbing playing the victim.
deleted-user·
His dad called to yell at him? Hell no. I'd cut contact with them. She's a loon, and he is enabling her.
Thisisfeeney·
I agree. Dh is working through his issues because of her. I think he's coming to that realization.
deleted-user·
Narcissist moms are THE worst.
I know from experience. Tell your DH that he isn’t alone and there is help out there! Also that he doesn’t need to apologize. It does nothing but eat away at his own confidence. Apologizing doesn’t help because the mom doesn’t want an apology- just the attention from being the victim.
deleted-user·
I am sure another spoon could be made available to her if she needed, using someone else's drink is pretty rude.