Your JUST now hearing about an annual Christmas party? WTF your SS is like 6 right? lol I'd call bulls**t on that one! Sometimes these crazy ex/Hex's make me crap up. I know it's not funny when you're the family who's actually in the situation but darn from the outside it's so crazy! It's like just so ridiculous you just have to laugh because that's all you can do. That and feel sorry for them that they're so unhappy with themselves that they behave this way at all.

Yes agree 1000%! She just doesn't give a f***! Never has and probably never will.

It's okay I wasn't offended at all! I actually really love when people play devils advocate because it gives us a unique perspective on things. I don't post on here to be validated with everything I want to hear. I post to get people's honest opinions ?

And girl trust me I'd die too! Of course I'd want to talk with DS on his birthday! But we'd also have every day Facetimes for both of us because I'm not a crazy b****!

I just couldn’t even imagine. I couldn’t imagine sharing my son and on top of that, not speaking to him on his birthday? I don’t care if I were half dead and I’m the hospital, I’d still be blowing up DH’s phone begging to talk to him

Oh and she did call him the day after his birthday (Sunday) and there's no way SS couldn't hear it when he was sitting right next to it. We found the missed call last night and so we lectured him and made him call and apologize during their normal time window. He called several times (I think 5) but she didn't answer. It wasn't her night so we can't really fault her for that. We also sent an apology text.

She still could've done SOMETHING on his birthday though. Poor kid.

Oh, I didn’t meant anything nasty by it. Just being devil’s advocate, that’s all. Like I said, I always think of it from my POV and I’d die if DH shut the iPad off on my son’s birthday. But like you said- she definitely could’ve texted or even asked in advance if she could talk to him even though it’s not her day. It seems she truly just didn’t give a f*ck

It’s like this weekend coming up is our weekend. Hex told us 3 weeks ago we aren’t getting him because it “doesn’t fit into her home and life schedule”. Now, 3 weeks later she just emailed DH yesterday saying they have a family Christmas party this weekend. Well, if she just said that from the beginning and asked if she could have him or whatever, then we would’ve worked something out with her. But the fact that she was a nasty b¡tch about it for 3 weeks and then all of a sudden it’s a “super important annual Christmas party” with her family? Yeah- ok. He’s 6 and we’re just NOW hearing about this annual Christmas party? ???

But I’m sure from someone else’s perspective that doesn’t know the whole story, they probably think we’re taking her to court to keep SS from celebrating Christmas with her side of the family ??

I get you. I wish these women would get their sh¡t together and be at least half decent moms

Yes exactly! I believe that many not all but many dads are "deadbeats" when really the bio mom is just crazy as hell keeping the kid from them! My heart always goes out to you guys and your situation! I was just talking with Dh about you the other day. He was like "WTF that's insane why don't they have full custody?!"

Yes!

Ugh, yeah, I definitely understand the unnecessary drama. We’re going through it with hex too. It’s so hard. I just can’t wrap my head around these women. I always think of it from my POV but these women are so horrible ? Everyone always said DH would hardly see DS if we ever split up just like SS and that’s not true. He doesn’t see SS because he has to pay hundreds and thousands of dollars all for her to STILL withhold him!

Recently she tried to have CPS take DS away for no f***ing reason. She's drama hungry and bitter. So no we will not being doing extra's for her anymore. Idgaf of "oh it's best for SS" because no it's not. He deserves a peaceful drama free special day.

If you were in our shoes you'd see why. I know you have a different perspective being the noncustodials for a poor little boy who is constantly being PASed and kept from you so to you we probably seem like a**holes because you have a different perspective. Even to other custodians we may seem that way. But we aren't your or their Ex/Hex we are good people just doing our best with the s****y situation we're in. And like I said if he asked or she'd asked to talk it'd be different. Not everyone needs to love our parenting choices and that's okay ?

Honestly we weren't even home most of the day. He And you're a good mother so you'd call and not PAS your kids. We refuse to put him through unnecessary drama and bs. If she had asked to talk with him even know it wasn't her day that's different. But she didn't even ask to speak with him. If he'd wanted to call her that's also different but he didn't ask. And as far as I remember usually calls and texts so actually come up once we turn the thing on. We aren't some a**hole custodial parents who are keeping her kid from her. She didn't bother to even send the iPad a text, which I know 1000% do go through and he sees them when he turns the iPad on. She has no problem texting him other times.

And believe me it does suck not talking with him on special days. But that's pert of blended life. We wish we could coparent peacefully but she's made it clear that that will never happen. At least we've gotten to the point where we can coparent awkwardly.

Would you know if she FaceTimed even though the iPad was off? Probably not, right?

I’m not looking to be a b¡tch or anything but you guys really couldn’t leave the iPad on just this once on his birthday? If my DH and I were split up and I got to FaceTime every other day but that didn’t fall on his birthday and my DH left the iPad off because it “wasn’t my day”, I’d be CRUSHED. And to be honest, I think that’s a really sh¡tty move

Sorry might be long.

When i was 2 my dad took me and my two brothers away because my dad had come home early from work and found us locked in the house alone and dirty. I guess he had his suspicions about birth mother and i guess he was right. Turns out she had been doing this alot leaving us alone for hours locked up while she was spending time with some guy. I was 2, older brother 3, and younger brother 1. Yes we are very close in age. Lol.

Well since my dad had to work alot he took us to Mexico and my grandparents took care of us for two years. My dad would go back every couple months to see us. During that time my dad met my stepmom then brought us back to the U.S. He bought a house we all moved in and my dad made sure to tell birth mother where we were so she could come see us or call us. But not one phone call or visit ever. Well my dad told me and my brothers that when we were old enough he would take us to meet her if we wanted to. Well that time came when i was 18. Took a 5 hour drive to meet this so called birth mother. She didn't cry, she just looked at us like why are you here. She stayed for about 2 hours then told us she had to leave because she had to go to work. So after 16 years of not seeing eachother that is what we got from her 2 whole hours. Oh i forgot to mention she had 6 other kids during that time period. 5 girls 1 boy. But i don't talk to any of them. So long story short im assuming she never loved or cared about us. But my step mom has always been so loving, caring, and supportive of us. And even now with my two kids she loves them just as much if not more. Im grateful that she is my MOTHER.

Thank you so so much! That means a lot to hear! ❤️

And I'm sorry about your mom. Did you grow up with your dad? Was she vet around? I first met my egg donor when I was 10 and she forcible took me away from my adoptive parents. She just recently admitted again that she did it all to hurt me suds she never loved me she just wanted to hurt her ex (my birth father) by hurting me. Also hated my adoptive parents.

Egg donor called me on my 21st birthday two years ago to b**** about one of her kids girlfriends getting an abortion because her son is an abusive d***head and the girl couldn't fathom bringing a child into this mess. That's the only Birthday she ever called for. I didn't even know she was alive (bio dad told me she died in a car accident to protect me from her) until I was 10 and found out on my own. So I understand.

That sucks. Poor guy. Well atleast he has you. I grew up without my birth mother also, she knew where me and my two brother's were but she didnt call or look for us. As a child it hurts, and even though we might say it doesn't bother us deep down it does. I hope your ss knows how much you care about him.

Well no excuse she didn't bother to call last night either. She could've called the day before or after. She could've sent his iPad a ect (although it wouldn't have been on as it wasn't her day to FaceTime him so maybe that's why she didn't). I tried talking with SS but he said he's know she'd call then shut down. I got him to open up and he said avtually she only ever calls when she's actually with him on his birthday but she's never actually with him so it's something hat happens every single year anyways so he's used to it and it doesn't even bother him anymore. It used to make him so sad but she always does it so oh well. Poor kid.

What kind of POS do you have to be to not call your kid for his birthday.

Nope! We get every other day Facetimes between 7-8 pm, regardless of Holidays or birthdays. If our or her FaceTime falls on a holiday or birthday then great but otherwise we don't get to talk with him on that day.

I don't recognize your username so you may not know my story. In a nutshell we're custodial and there's several reasons for that including that Hex is a crazy PASing narcissistic sociopath. We refused every day and the courts decided every day is too much for SS mental health and wellbeing so we all get every other day. Our courts said that's standard for most homes regardless of the child's age. You can't expect parents to make time every single day and it's not necessary for the child to have every night calls.

Anyways she may try to call on his birthday today but she can't just call whenever she feels like it. His iPad will be off. In our home it's only turned on every other night 7-8. Hex let's him sleep with the thing but again different homes different rules.

Could she be planning on calling on his birthday?