Joined Events Do y'all do joined events with your skids? DH and Hex are planning a joined…

Some joint things like birthdays are normal. This whole "vacationing together" thing doesn't sound normal to me. I can imagine that your skids are totally confused!

Yeah, that's a hell no for me too.. They aren't a family anymore.. You are his family, and need to be his number 1 priority.. I'd put my foot down on that..

And I don't mind them co-parenting. Yesterday she helped Mil and us move stuff from the old house. She stopped being rude and backed me up with SS6 so for that I'm grateful.

But she's still the piece of sh*t egg donor who abandoned her kid and DH seems to have forgotten that.

Yeah that's what I'm saying. I thought I was just overreacting. They aren't a family anymore so why should they act like it?

Hex tried the same thing for thanksgiving and Christmas last year. She wanted us to spend it with her family instead of allowing the kids to spend either holiday with us. Everyone got mad at me for saying that we're two separate families now and we don't need to spend holidays with her family. In the end she got the kids the night before and the day of both days and we went to my parents house 3 hours away and had to come back early to pick the kids up. It sucked and I felt like we should each get a holiday but hex says that is making the kids choose parents. I have no idea what's happening this year, I haven't brought it up yet. I say stick to your guns on this and don't let hex of SO pressure or guilt you into doing something you're not comfortable with.

Personally, that would be a hard no for me. Birthdays-fine..Thanksgiving- yeah that's gonna be a no too. We do usually have the kids do a brief exchange of gifts on Christmas for maybe 10 minutes at drop off but generally speaking the only real event done together for anything longer than a few minutes is their birthdays.

That is a big nope! Especially if SS is feeling like his parents would be together if you weren't in the picture. That is just confusing. That is putting you in a bad position. And unless you would be stopping ss from going to Disneyland with her for Christmas I don't see how that would cause problems since hex would still get her trip!

No because SS6 doesn't understand the situation. If he was ok with it and wanted it, then maybe, but his disrespect of you and his blend means no. This will fuel his fire to see his mum and dad together.

My SD is 9 and has never said anything nasty to me about her parents not being together so she understands but her families are so seperate that she kind of freaks out a bit if the 2 world's collide anyway. Friends of ours said hello to SD when they saw her with her mum and she looked at them like she didn't even know who they were.

If you can't get out of this trip set some ground rules as parents, DH and hex not to be seen together by SS6, you and hex get along and back each other up etc (hopefully)

Your dh needs to make you his #1 priority! I wouldn't be okay with this and if dh saw that I wasn't okay with it, he would do whatever to make me happy. If I saw he prioritize hex before me I'd be livid but hexs feelings don't matter in this household!

Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.

Hahaha hell no!

Haha love!

For me this is a deal breaker! If DH can't and/or won't put me first then he can go and play house with her. This is just total craziness.

@pregnate that's how my SD is too.

We've done trick or treating together, and SO and I went to the birthday party that Hex threw for SD. But a joint vacation? No absolutely not. Especially not on a holiday.

Hex tried that with Christmas a year ago. Yeah, it's sneaky to me and i can understand why SS is so confused. Hex is probably trying to start drama and you are getting the backlash of it from SS. DH needs to step up and realize that he is creating problems with doing this. Maybe read him some fellow step mom comments?

Last year this time there was a joint Disney trip by someone in here. Lol. That DID NOT go well. Whew, that was a trip. Take advice. Don't do it. Joint birthday, Christmas, even a BBQ could be normal under right circumstances. Joint vacation? Heck NO!

That's a no... I've never done anything with ex1 and my daughter is 11. I will do nothing with ex2 with my son. He wants us to be best of friends ? he must've forgotten that he became abusive. I'm in the twilight zone. Lol.