Evil Stepmom I told SS6 that I threw the movies that he manipulated Mil into getting away and also…

Why did you do that?

Last night before we went out I told him that he wasn't getting anything. He always has to have something every single time that we go somewhere. If he doesn't get something then he whines and throws a huge tantrum. While we were out he asked me to buy him movies and when I said no he went behind my back and asked Mil anyways.

And every weekend he goes to Hex's Mom's House and runs wild. He's been disrespectful all week so we decided that he couldn't go this weekend. But of course now I'm the bad guy because DH wasn't home to talk with him about all of this.

IMO, that was an evil step mom move. Should have taken that issue up with MIL

DH was at work for all of this. I posted about it last night. We talked with Mil this morning and she said that she didn't know that I said no to him about the movies and that she wants me to feel comfortable coming to her when SS does this kind of stuff. As for the video games hopefully she'll stop undermining my authority when I say no to something.

We agreed that SS shouldn't have something when he knew DH and I already said no. And SS knew exactly what he was doing. He does this all the time and we've grown tired of it. It's not Sammi says no so go ask Grandma. That's just not how it works.

I agree with OP. Frankly, I think it's better she nip it in the bud now when he is six. Because if he's already triangulating her and MIL, it's going to be hell when he's nine and he plays all the adults in his life like a fiddle.

SS knew OP said no. SS went behind her back and asked MIL. MIL said yes. Now SS knows if he ignores OP and goes behind her back, he still won't get what he wants. Why should SS be rewarded for MIL enabling him?

I would have done the same thing, except donate them and have him physically drop them off to the donation counter.

Toaster that's exactly what I was thinking about nipping this in the butt now and donating them is a great idea so thank you. I don't think that he heard me say that I threw the movies out since he was hysterical when I was trying to talk with him. I may do just that since I haven't actually thrown them away just yet.

Thankfully DH agrees with me and is backing me up 100% This needs to stop ASAP before it gets even worse.

Why don't you just return them to the store? Or to mil, their not really yours to throw away.

^ because then MIL is being brought right back into the situation, after having proved she won't back up OP. What is MIL going to do with "Horton hears a who"? Invite all her girlfriends over and watch it every Saturday night while drinking a huge glass of pinot grigio? I'll bet she would turn right around and give the movies back to SS a week later.

By throwing it away or having him donate it, SS is physically seeing the result of his actions and it will reinforce the fact that manipulation won't get him what he wants.

Hmm. Both my mom and mil have no problems giving our kids a good what for and saying no. Bio step or otherwise I do have that advantage that both grandma's have been step moms in their lives. I still think this is mostly a mil problem and I would have spoke up in the store "sorry mil I told ss no, but thank you for offering" would have worked wonders... with my mom I would have just needed to give her "the look" lol.

I agree the whole situation needs addressed.

I think Toaster said it perfectly. It definitely needs to be corrected now. Also, I think donating it is a wonderful idea!

I would not be shopping with mil for a while sense ss is going to pull that crap every time you say no to something. still tell him he wont be getting anything when shopping and if he throws a fit in the store turn right around and walk out. Tell him if he cannot behave then he cant go shopping with you.

Return them to the store and get store credit then. By yourself something nice and expressly tell ss thanks for the new bag