Hugs to you love! Definitely make an appointment for PPD, you'll be so happy you did. I had a cesarean with my son (natural childbirth wasn't an action for me) and I did okay with the procedure and the recovery. You had a major surgery so it will take time for your body to heal. I was like you as well, before I got pregnant I had an all female OB/Gyn team. After moving to a new state pregnant, I met a male doctor that I absolutely love. He was the only one out of the group of doctors (male and female) that I was comfortable with, which was surprising at first. Choosing him was the best decision I could have done. When you decide to have another child, you will know what is best for you and your baby. Time to take care of you though ☺️?

Thank y'all. I know I just have to get through this weekend and hopefully get an appointment on Monday.

Hugs mama. It sounds like you need to see your doctor for ppd and get medication. Most midwives definitely will be willing to see if you're a candidate for a vbac. I think you should seek one out to even just speak to at this time and tell them your feelings. Make a friendship with one before getting pregnant again and then maybe you will be a bit more comfortable when it comes to having another baby and getting checked.

I don't even know who I would see first off. My ob is an hour away and I only saw her maybe three times my entire pregnancy. My regular physician is in town so that would save me an hours drive to my ob but I don't know if she would even prescribe me anything because she didn't see me when I was pregnant.

I've had two c-sections and then a successful VBA2C. You just need to find a supportive Doctor. If yours isn't, find a new one.

Here is what I have to offer for advice mama.

First of all, BREATHE. It's okay. RELAAAAAAX. The male doctor thing is completely normal. I'm honestly the same way. I'm just more comfortable with a female doctor because we have the same parts and they understand me on a level men don't understand. It has always been that way.

As for your son, put him somewhere safe like the pack and play or exersaucer or something for a minute or go grab a cold glass of water or something. Take a moment to yourself and breathe. If your husband is home, let him know you just really need a minute to yourself and go get some fresh air. Whatever relaxes you. This is completely normal and we all go through it. You absolutely are NOT alone!

And for the PPD, if you expect it, please get evaluated. It doesn't help that your husband doesn't seem to be supportive of this and there's medication you can take that will not effect your breastmilk and breastfeeding relationship with your little one. PPD is hard to deal with, and I'm still battling it. My son is almost 2 1/2 and I'm 40+2. Don't ignore symptoms if you believe you have them. It can become worse and you can't let that happen, your sweet baby needs his mama.

Please just take a breath. When baby goes to bed, take a nice shower and relax. We are here to support you if anything. At least I am. It'll all be okay and it gets better I promise you. Stay strong mama you got this!

Also, just to add, I'm 3 months pp, breastfeeding my baby, and I'm on 50mg of Zoloft. They start you on a very small dose and it is safe to take while breastfeeding.

Edit: ONE more thing - I'm not comfortable with male OBGYNs either. Like at all. It's just a personal preference and you don't need to feel bad about feeling that way.

You should definitely make an appointment for PPD. You'll be so glad you did.

I know there's also such thing as PTSD after giving birth if it's a bad enough experience. It sounds like it was an awful experience for you and I'm so sorry you had to go through that discomfort and not being able to go about it the way you wanted.

Make an appointment with your doctor. It feels good just getting it all out and having someone tell you it's normal and you're not alone.