Worried about when baby #2 comes

Heck no your not being hormonal! Thats just messed up a child should never feel like their other sibling is better and being treated better. Kids are so smart and they do notice more than we think. ?

I try my best to make her feel equal, and when baby comes in going to do the same. It just scares me some times, depression runs in my family and there's so many sad stories about little kids these days. When we go baby shopping, I always buy her a little something too. I've always disliked families who pick and choose, it's the main reason I don't talk to mine.

Thank you @kitty, I just sometimes feel like I'm being ridiculous about things because people don't see my side of it.

You're definitely allowed to be concerned about this. It sounds like you and your SO will make sure that they are equal, but his family may not. The fact that they've already said that they will spoil the baby more says it. I think you and your SO should both make it clear to his family that she is his child now and that y'all won't tolerate them being treated differently. Pp is right, kids are very smart. They pick up on things faster than we give them credit.

Don't let it get to that point where your daughter sees that. I would go ahead and speak with them about this now and nip it in the bud. Best of luck!

@Kimberly, I can try my best to nip it now. Sil had her baby in June so we've kinda been on the back burner family wise. But I will definitely voice my concerns, I just don't want to come off as rude. His mom has been so good to us, she's actually giving us her old truck. I just feel like this huge b** sometimes but my babies emotions and feelings are a huge thing for me.

@OP

I definitely understand not wanting to come off as rude. I'm like that myself. But I also understand how important our kids emotions are. Maybe if your SO and you both address it together it will come off "less harsh." Like a united front. It doesn't have to be rude and hopefully they'll be understanding and see where y'all are coming from. ?

I'm going through the exact same thing! I'm afraid that it is going to cause so much friction between me and SO. I'll probably start crying the second I see it happening. I'm sorry you're going through this too.

My mil show favorites as well she loves her first grandson and spoils him which I don't mind since both of mine are treated the same and rarely see their cousin. She had the habit of buying a small toy for one of my kids and not the other and we made it really clear that if she didn't buy both the same thing we rather her not buy any of them anything. Also told her if she continue to only give attention to one and not the other we would stop going. It took time but she finally got it. My parents were always fair with grandkids and nieces and nephews never showed favoritism which I loved. My niece has a sister that's not my brothers and even though my brother and her mom have been seperated for 3 years now my parents still treated her like she's their grandchild and if they send my niece something they send her something as well so she doesn't feel left out. I would make it clear that you will not allow favpritism because you don't want your oldest to be jealous of baby and feel left out since that is how jealousy starts and they start feeling angry towards baby.

I'm just thankful I can count on my dad to make them feel equal, we actually see him more regularly but holidays are where I'm concerned the most. He grew up being left out by his own parents sadly, so he raised us to show equality for all. I'm going to talk with my SO tonight so we can set a game plan.

This was my fear when I met my dh...i was very up front. I wanted to be sure his family would fully accept my dd. Just talk about ur fears with him and hopefully he gets it.