Ungrateful Had a d&c a month ago at 14 weeks. First one I've ever had and I pray to God it's my…

I have two boys and I'm pregnant right now with my 3rd baby. Idk the gender but I've been telling everyone I don't want a boy, that I'll be so upset if it's not a girl. I was admitted Monday for placental abruption and now I feel my world falling apart because I could lose baby. I feel like this is happening because of the exact same reason as you. I'm so ungrateful. But I'm praying now, that my baby fights and survives this, I've even started calling him a HE. ❤ cause I just want him to be healthy now. I shouldn't have ever cared. You're not alone, and do not be so hard on yourself. I miscarried before my second son and I think it was because I told myself the exact same thing. I thought i learned then but now, I'm really paying for it. I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying for you.??

Thank you mama. I had a placental abruption with my last son but it was at 37 weeks and they said I went to the hospital at the exact moment I should have for the emergency c section or we could have lost him.

Prayers to you and your little man. Stay positive.

I feel sometimes what we feel is passed on to our babies. Stay strong as much as it hurts. Have faith.

We sometimes don't realize until something until it's right in our face. I hope you have a healthy baby which is truly what we want.?

This breaks my heart. Honey it is normal to have some gender disappointment, but this was not because of something you did. Miscarriage is a loss unlike any other and it's so under-talked about. I'm sure your sweet baby's soul knows the love you will always have for him. But how beautiful a thought that the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the face of God. ❤️ Praying for healing in your heart and another healthy baby in your future.

I can relate to this. I have 2 healthy boys here on earth with me. I got pregnant in December which was supposed to be our 3rd and final baby. The comments I got about "it better be a girl" or "you need a girl" was ridiculous. Unfortunately I fell into that and wanted a girl too. I remember wondering if Id be okay if they told me "its a boy" one more time because I remember feeling gender disappointment with my 2nd but let me tell you how much of a blessing it is that I have 2 boys. Anyway, the day I found out I was to expect a 3rd son (20 week mmc) is the same day I found out he was gone. I still sometimes feel guilty about this also but I think its natural. I do know I will never feel this EVER AGAIN. My husband and I have already talked about having the next one be a surprise at birth. I actually WANT another boy because I was supposed to be a boy mom. Gender is Soooooo trivial when you lose a baby especially a later loss like ours. I actually think gender disappointment posts will probably annoy me in the future because deep down HEALTHY BABY IS TRULY WHAT MATTERS. I always said that to the people telling me to have a girl (like it was something I could choose) but now I truly believe it. No one would know better than us. Sorry for your loss and PM me if you'd like to chat about your son or loss. Hugs

I'm so sorry for your loss! ?I couldn't wait to find out the gender with my first and she turned out to be a healthy baby girl.. when I was pregnant with my second I was exactly the same... couldn't wait to find out the gender. We knew the 20 week scan is to check for abnormalities but to us, we just wished for a healthy baby and couldn't wait to find out if it was a boy or girl. When I was scanned, they couldn't see the baby very clearly as I had no fluid around the baby due to LUTO, and therefore we weren't able to find out the gender. I went for a specialist scan a few days later and it was confirmed that my baby had a very slim chance of surviving the pregnancy. He was still unable to find out the gender, all we knew was LUTO is much more common in boys. A few days later I gave birth to my sleeping baby at 21 weeks. He was a perfect little boy. Given our situation and how sad the whole ordeal was, I was so happy deep down that we did at least still have a surprise at the end. One little bit of excitement left to hold onto. A few months later we tried again for a baby, and now I'm almost 32 weeks... we don't know the gender. People ask why I don't want to find out, and they will never truly understand how important/unimportant the gender is to me. Stay strong! The guilt will be there, but it is not your fault! Your baby knew he was loved!! ❤️ xx

Yes, that's exactly how I feel now. Everyone always said better be a girl! Now I'm thinking in my head, couldn't you have just said congrats? I just felt horrible.

I am the same, I WANT a boy because I lost one and I WANT a girl also. Once I get pregnant again (hopefully soon), I know I'll be happy no matter what, as long as my baby is healthy.

Thanks for all the encouragement and kind words ladies.❤️

I am so sorry for your loss.. Losing a baby is never easy.

I honestly was the same way with my baby I lost in March. I wanted a boy sooooo bad because I already have two girls. I wished and hoped and prayed for a boy. In the end, I didn't even get a baby. I lost my baby at 12 weeks, so it was still too early to tell gender, but I still felt terribly guilty.

Hey maybe we will both end up with boy/girl twins lol. ?

So sorry for your losses ladies. I hope all of you have healthy babies in the near future.❤️

Kim, yes! Definitely have to keep each other updated! It's easier when your going through everything with someone who went through the same thing.

Kim, are you guys TTC anytime soon?

No. This isn't your fault, or because you were hoping for the opposite gender for a while there. Tragic things make us see that the little things don't matter like that. Your baby knows you love them, tell them, their soul will always be with you, you're their mumma. Dont feel guilty, its what we mums just do to ourselves but don't. Some times horrible things happen but it was definitely not your fault.

I just Pmed you :)