I'm messy y'all. I told my BD that my next bd (I want at least 2 kids) will be more understanding than him. This man took that as "lets get back together and I'm going to finish in you" I was just saying that to make him mad. And mind you my daughter is almost 3 months and we've only had protected sex a few times since I gave birth. What have I got myself into! Smh
@dankerson, oh, I see. I guess I read it differently. Sorry girl! 🙈
If you’re still frequently sleeping with him- (recently since you’re not clear until at least 1.5 months and your child is 3 months so a few times in the last month in a half is frequently); I can see why he’d get mixed messages.
@laniejay yeah I totally understand. I just find it interesting that he decided to just stop using protection and do that just because I mentioned having another kid by someone else one day
@miaheka it's fine. If he doesn't want anymore I definitely would plan to have another by someone else though!
Are you saying you Did have had sex with him after that comment and he didn't glove up? We're you aware of that? Did you care?
@dankerson can you clarify? You said that comment to make him mad...... then had sex with him? Without a condom... .and let him cum in you??
@tbree121 @carpetmushrooms yes you both read it correctly. We had unprotected sex and he finished in me. I didn't care because I wouldn't mind being pregnant and having another little one just likw I didn't care with my daughter it wasn't planned but expected to happen eventually.
@dankerson that sounds like a hot mess... if you were purposely trying to make him mad, why would you still sleep with him? And definitely let your body heal before getting knocked up again!!
Maybe both of you should hit the pause button on reproducing right now.... just saying
@carpetmushrooms it really is a mess. He was being a mouthy butthole and I just wanted him to shut up. It was "make up sex" and a very irresponsible in the moment kind of thing. I definitely wanted my body to heal but I'll find out soon enough if I'm pregnant. It took a year and a half to get my baby girl so idk
@shayybear I realize that, I think him being sick is the reason why it took so long to get my daughter so I'll just have to wait and see
@dankerson you said it took 1.5 years to get pregnant with your daughter.... does that mean you started TRYING to get pregnant when you were 17 years old???
@georgina-ox we do great taking care of kids & it was dumb argument but thanks for the input I'll try to reflect on how grown up I am/am not enough to be able to successfully have children
@carpetmushrooms I wasn't ttc at 17. Like I stated it wasn't planned but expected to happen eventually since I knowingly had unprotected sex. Honestly after the first 3 months I figured something was in the way of conceiving and I wouldn't get pregnant. After a year I was pretty sure but I have my daughter now so thats that
@laniejay I didn't ask a question lol just was saying what happened and how I felt but thanks even if it's sarcasm, babies are really blessing I'd be thankful to have another.
@dankerson so you knowingly had unprotected sex for 1.5 years?? At 17 years old... while you still live at home with your parents is my guess?
@carpetmushrooms yes and I was out of my family's house by 17 and almost 18 by the time these shenanigans were going on
@georgina-ox yeah it's a vent and tmi all in one. It was very immature to say that and then what happened after. I try to do what's best but this guy is really a piece of work. With my daughter, doing what's right is a no brainer. But with him I have to fight myself to not stoop to his level, I usually lose that battle which is why I'm single now
@dankerson if he's a piece of work, just stop sleeping with him.. be single
@carpetmushrooms that was the plan months and months ago, I messed up so fighting to stick with it this time. Hopeful that I'll win this time. Can't really deal anymore, that's another reason I decided to just stay single
You’re not really single if you’re regularly sleeping with someone and having “makeup” sex, especially unprotected. You’re just in a mess and risking STDS. If you keep declaring you’re single, there’s no saying where he’s dipping that stick. And there’s no way to emotionally detach from that. You’re playing with fire 🔥 physically and emotionally. Either move on or admit you don’t want to and clean things up.
@laniejay telling it like it is!!! If my old ass phone did emojis I'd give you the hand clapping one!
I think you are misunderstanding because I have not posted all of the details of the relationship. That being said, I am single because I chose to be after realizing this is not what I want to be apart of anymore. We had sex twice since my daughter was born, had said argument (not a break up), had make up sex and now we aren't together anymore. Like I said it's a messy situation. And like you said playing with fire physically and emotionally. I am really trying to move on and haven't thought about going back yet. I'm more so concerned if I am pregnant. As the std thing is pretty unlikely.'m not too worried because this guy is faithful, very picky and barely has a sex drive. Not only that but he won't even acknowledge that were are now broken up. Still always a possibility which is why we have been getting checked regularly since this thing started
@laniejay I really appreciate your comments it's like my inner voice from a different perspective. This has been the hardest break up with so much abuse and now a beautiful baby and possibly another. I have been fighting a while with no support from family or any friends to vent to which is why I came here. Your words are giving me the courage to fight even harder. Now it will just be a matter of her spending time with him with me not having to interact with him directly
@dankerson I asked if he was abusive and you replied "on and off for awhile"..
I assumed you meant that he's been abusive on ad off
@carpetmushrooms yes that's what I meant. As far as the cutting off contact part I've stated that it's been a hard battle for me but I'm still trying to fight it and move on
Why activly have unprotected sex with a man you're trying to distance yourself.
@shayybear honestly I try if any of you remember me from bb it's just been a loosing battle for so long, not really having anywhere to turn. Emotional and physical abuse has become the norm for me as I dealt with it from my mother and stepfather as a child and then up til now with relationships. I'm still learning to accept that this is not normal but the hardest part is moving foward after I cut contact. It can be so easy to forget that it's not okay even if the abuse has stopped and I think "well it doesn't happen anymore"
@dankerson abuse is a cycle.. even during good times. It's a pattern and the longer you stay the more risk you run for some thing they call "traumatic bonding".
If you can, try and read the book "Why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft... it's an excellent book about abuse and how to recognize what's going on in the man's head as well as how to spot red flags for future abuse
@dankerson, only you can break the cycle. Only you can stand tall and show your daughter what life should be. Don’t be a victim of a perpetual circumstance. Find the strength to show your daughter a better life.
@laniejay, I love your common sense tough love approach here! @dankerson, please listen to lanie. What she's saying is truth. Make changes for your daughter's sake 💕
@dankerson, you’ve taken these comments very graciously. It’s nice to see someone on here actually consider a perspective outside of their own instead of getting defensive
Seems like the both of you are really immature. I'd stop thinking about having another baby and focus on current life. Your child, your relationship issues, etc
@mhbbb2 I'm thinking about having another baby not because I want to but because I could possibly be pregnant. I'm not sure what you mean by stop thinking about it. Also I am pretty focused on my little one but not so much relationship issues because I'm single now and more so worried about my daughter.
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