I'm desperate for advice on how I can get my libido back. DS will be 1 in two weeks and I still…

Are you on any medication or birth control? That can effect your libido.

Are you just simply too exhausted? Do you do date nights or have any time away from the kids?

I’m a SAHM of 3 boys. When they go to bed, I’m DONE with the day and just want left alone. I think that’s very common for a lot of moms.

I'm the same way since birth. Before I was always the one who started, now I'm glad when I can lay down and sleep. I have zero interest in it. At least you know that you're not alone!

I'm not on birth control and the only medication I'm on is Synthroid for my Hashimoto's. I am always exhausted, but I honestly shouldn't be because both of my kids sleep through the night. I had my thyroid levels checked about 2 months ago and I'm on the correct dosage, so I don't think it's that. A lot of times I think I'm just touched out. We've only gone on 1 date since our son was born, maybe going on more dates would help

@0711_sandra thank you, that does make me feel better!

@crunchytxmomma88, yep. Touched out is a completely legit thing! Been there done that!!

I told my husband if he wants to touch me, he has to keep the kids from touching me. Meaning- help with bed/bath time. Don’t let me do all the cooking/cleaning, filling cups/changing diapers, etc.

I don't know if I should just force myself to do it or what. It just sucks because DH can tell when I'm not into it and then he doesn't enjoy it as much either

Right there with you🙁 it’s so irregular that it’s starting to feel awkward on my end. I hope it changes soon my baby’s almost a year too

@alohaisfree I know what you mean, I feel really off my game. Like my rhythm sucks or something😂 I just end up feeling self-conscious and awkward

It’s crazy but the more you have sex, the more you’ll want it. Our marriage counselor told us that. And I’ll be damned if it wasn’t true lol. Now, it doesn’t work alllll the time. I still go through my phases of “don’t even say sex around me” lol. But it def helped!

@redheadedmonster that's really good to know, I will definitely try that then! Fake it til you make it😂

I’ve felt like this since my 9 yr old was born. 😭😭😭

@crunchytxmomma88, yessss 😂

Do you drink? Alcohol always made me more interested lol. We don’t drink at all anymore but we’d have more sex if we did 🤷🏼‍♀️

@redheadedmonster hahaha yes, I drink wine. DH tries to get me to drink all the time because he knows he has a much better chance of getting some😂😂

Following! I’m in the same boat and feel guilty. Sometimes I just do it so I won’t feel guilty. How bad is that? I do find I enjoy it once we start though. I think I will try Reds advice.

@blueismycolor oh no, I'm sorry! I hope it gets better for you!

@rowdy-vajazzy I know exactly how you feel! 99% of the time we do it is because I feel bad for DH. Sex has honestly become such a chore and I hate that! I used to enjoy it so much

@crunchytxmomma88, mmkay so here’s what ya do. Text him to bring some wine home but mention it’ll probably turn into a late fun night, and it’d be great if he’d get up with the kids in the morning.

His brain will go - wine + late night = sex, so yessssss

🙃😆🤣

@crunchytxmomma88, It comes and goes. I feel bad for my dh too. It’s just having 3 kids makes it sooo hard to want to do anything. At the end of the day I just want to be left alone.

@redheadedmonster hahaha yesss! He would be like hell yeah, it's on!😂

@blueismycolor exactly! All I want when DH gets home from work is to be able to sit and watch a show by myself and eat some food that I don't have to share with either of my kids😂

@crunchytxmomma88, good deal! I expect a full report by this weekend. Go getcha some!! 🤪😆😂😂😂

@redheadedmonster hahaha will do😉

I feel the same exact way! Especially the being able to watch a show by myself! Some days I stay up later even though I’m tired and watch a tv show just so I can get some me time lol. I’m always either at work or so tired from work I just want to watch tv all day lol. But yeah definitely I’m like “please don’t touch me” 😂

I am right there with you, going to talk to my doctor soon, been eating food that is supposed to help, but I agree who wants to have sex after going to work, than come home to do the same, cook clean take care of the kids. At the end of the day sleep is all I want.

I’ve been there, too. What worked for me is catching myself when I think that way, and turning it to think of how hot it is to have sex with dh! Not in a “forceful” way, but more so retraining my thought process.

@murdock_ that's good advice because I tend to get stuck in my head a lot. It almost becomes a self fulfilling prophecy where I'm worried I suck at it, and then I overanalyze it and end up being more awkward

@let_there_be_life I had no idea that were foods that could help with that! I'll have to look into it. At this point, I'll try just about anything!

@crunchytxmomma88, I can be the same way! It takes practice, but mindfulness can help. ☺️

Is there a way you can get someone to watch the kids for the weekend? I think it’s so important to reconnect with your spouse with little to no distractions. Go away somewhere, even just 2 hours away and explore a new city.

@penelope127 I love that idea! I could definitely do that, my dad and stepmom live about 45 minutes away from us and I'm sure they could watch the kids for us for a bit. DH has been wanting to go on a couple's vacation, but DS is still nursing, so that's out of the question for now

Are you comfortable with how you physically look and feel? I’ve always heard if either of you isn’t happy with how you feel naked it’ll greatly affect not only sex but your desire for sex.

@mommynes honestly, I am a bit self-conscious about my postpartum body. I'm back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I have a mild case of diastasis recti this time around and my stomach definitely isn't as flat as it used to be. I've struggled with an eating disorder in the past, so body image has been a struggle for me, since even before I had kids. That could definitely be playing a role when it comes to my libido

Not sure if you’re still breastfeeding but I’ve heard it can kill your sex drive.

@clev7 Yeah, I am. I breastfed my daughter until she turned 3 in September, and it seems like my libido is way worse now than it was then for some reason. I've been breastfeeding for the last 3.5 years straight, but my sex drive really took a hit when I got pregnant with my son and it still hasn't gotten any better

That’s the worst. I have it too from my twin pregnancy.

@crunchytxmomma88, I felt the exact same way for a very long time after having #4, she’ll be 1 next month. However, during ovulation I am alwaysssss in the mood. So a couple months ago, once that time came around we had sex all the time! When we woke up, when the kids were in bed, a random quickie during nap time, etc... and we just kept at it. And now, we’re back on track lol. The more sex you have, the more sex you’ll want! My advice, have sex at least once a day (even if you’re tired, not particularly in the mood, etc) and I bet you’d start wanting it more. ☺️

@oops.i.sharted thank you! I agree, ovulation is pretty much the only time I even kind of want it haha. I will def try that for the next week or so and see how I feel! DH will be like where is this coming from?!😂 He'll be pleasantly surprised

Pwah I haven't had any libido since having my youngest who is 4 in 3 weeks time....i try to be excited about it but it don't happen. It's uncomfortable and painful. There's been only a few occasions when I've actually wanted it......its so annoying. I miss thr honeymoon period of our relationship (at it like rabbit stage) lol

**pwah not the riget wording maybe pffft

I'm in the same boat right now. My son turned 6 months old today and I've had no desire for the last several months. I'm just so beyond tired 😔

I’m with red on this one, it honestly only helped when we started having sex more. It was like my body was horny and didn’t know it so it basically was telling me I didn’t want it. It was weird. Also being exhausted made things worse.

And try not to think about the time, like it's already nine if I'm not asleep soon tomorrow is going to suck. Think more this is worth staying up for. And don't just think of it as sex but as reconnecting and letting him know you love him and getting loved on in return.

@tbree121 That's good advice because i am always thinking about the time🙈 I'm like dang, it's already almost 11 and he wants to do it NOW?