My Birth Story: Monday Night April 16th at 7pm at 40w6d I was admitted to L&D at my local hospital.…

My Birth Story:

Monday Night April 16th at 7pm at 40w6d I was admitted to L&D at my local hospital. From there I was examined and was stated at 1 cm. My doctor decide to start with a cervical balloon to try and coax my body to follow suit and begin to dilate on its own and trigger natural labor. They inserted the catheter and filled the balloon. This in fact did trigger contractions and I spent the night in discomfort. To describe the pressure it was like someone was constantly pulling/hitting my cervix. I ended up using two doses of IV pain relief just to get some rest. The ballon was left in place for 12 hours and let me tell you when they finally took it out I felt amazing. Unfortunately the ballon only progressed me to 2cm. So Tuesday April 17th at about 10:45 am I was given Pitocin. I bounced on my exercise ball and moved around for a bit. At about 2:30 pm I was again checked and had made it to 4cm and was pretty thin. The baby’s head was lower so my doctor decided to then break my water to really kick things up. After my water was broke my contractions did intensify and at almost 5 cm I decided to get my epidural. It was a difficult task as my back doesn’t naturally allow my to curve in the position in which the anesthesiologist needed me. When he injected the needle at first he hit a nerve causing me to jump and scaring everyone as jumping with a needle in your back is NOT the smartest thing to do but after some scolding/reassuring, I managed to relax and finish the process. It was a success and I was able to comfortably relax and get some rest. After that it was a waiting game. It got later into the night and I realized my baby girl would not be arriving that day. They decide to monitor her and my contractions internally as well as put a catheter in me. At about 3-4am I was examined once again and made it to a 6. I felt good about progression but concerned it was going so slow as I knew it was only safe to have your water broken for about 24 hrs before the baby becomes distressed. I tried many things to speed my process. Including using the pill ball in bed, getting on my hands and knees in bed and rocking switching side to side. My work was rewarded with her dropping VERY low yet my dilation stalled. Around 6-7 my contractions got very intense. What they don’t really explain well, at least in my case is epidurals will definitely take away direct pain BUT it does not relieve pressure. And that was ALL I felt. The pressure was very very intense. At first I just dealt with it. Figured it was just her weight helping me dilate. But then it got ridiculously uncomfortable and I kept feeling like I needed to push. So my doctor took a look thinking I would be progressed and close to push time yet I was still stuck at 6cm. It got so bad I was screaming and moaning in pain I just NEEDED to push her out. But it was obviously not happening with a 6 cm gateway. The pain was so bad my vision blacken and I saw sparks of light like when you have a really bad migraine. My doctor said she really didn’t think this baby was coming naturally and it was time to consider a csection. I cried. I felt relief that they were willing to end my pain but shame that I couldn’t deliver her on my own. My husband was very calming and supportive telling me I wasn’t a failure (my words) and he knew how hard this had been on my body the last few days and that he was so proud of me. I agreed to the csection and they began the process. But meanwhile the pain got worse and worse. I did everything but thrash around in delirium. Begging for them to make my pain stop with every pressure filled contraction. It wasn’t until 9:20ish I was in the OR being prepped. By this time they had well taken me off the pitocin the intensity of the contractions began to fade but the pressure continued. The new anesthesiologist removed my current epidural and gave a new spinal tap and that medicine was a godsend. I relaxed and almost passed out from exhaustion alone. I apologized to my caretakers as I knew I had been impossible during the transition. There was a short time after I received the spinal tap that my heart rate dropped and they had to intervene but I was quickly stabilized and Before I knew it the doctors filed in and hubby behind them. He held me and talked to me while they got to work. I felt nothing not even pressure but got the sensation of being rocked. Later I found out that my daughter was so wedged into my birth canal she had to be pulled back out which they found very troubling. So my body was indeed trying to force her through a 6cm hole. Finally I heard them announcing April 18th 2018 at 10:06am “she’s out” and I listened for the best sound I’ve ever heard. She cried and I smiled at her father and cried tears of joy. I watched from the table as they cleaned her (I couldn’t see very well as my glasses were back in the room) they cleaned and suctioned her but didn’t say much. She was quiet and still so I asked if she was okay and they assured me she was just in shock but she was alright. They told me she needed to go to the NICU for oxygen and testing but not much else before she was whisked away. They did show her to me and she looked right at me with dark blue eyes it was the most beautiful sight. I told buddy to go with her because I didn’t want her to be alone. So he left my side as they finished up on me and I was wheeled back to my room. I wasn’t going to be able to see her for a few hours. Luckily since buddy was down there he was able to let me video chat with her. She was bright eyed and alert and I felt some relief. Turns out she did have a bowel movement inside me and inhaled a bit and that’s the main reason she’s being withheld and tested. But hopefully she recovers quickly and soon I can further bond and comfort her. My heart aches not being with her. I never knew I could love so hard and so fast until I met her. She’s already everything my world revolves around. My birth did not go at all how I thought or planned and there’s something’s I would have done differently but we are both here and healthy for the most part and that’s all that matters. ❤️ My little Diamond Daisy April Baby, My external heart.