If I was still living the lifestyle I was before I met my husband I bet my son would have friends and he would probably…

That's what happens when you allow someone else to convince you that you're living your life the wrong way and then you don't realize until it's too late that you were doing better than you knew

Go do your thing, girl. Your son can be without you a couple days a week. No sense in losing your mind, he needs you whole.

@kambam my son's not the problem my husband is... I changed everything for that mother fucker and get no appreciation for it in return. I was a model I was a weed activist I was a bomb ass at home worker via marketing and networking. I was a photographer and editor and I even did video-editing - but because of him I don't even have my computer anymore because he had a problem with the person that I was living with when he met me and made me leave behind my possessions to avoid conflict. that's stupid because that family has looked out for me as if I was their own child since second grade and now I can't even talk to anybody without him saying they're not friends they're "fans"... I cut all ties from everyone that I've known except for my grandmother and my best friend of 20 years. I don't even wear make-up anymore and still get scolded if someone else is looking at me and accused that I'm "checking them out"

He doesn't sound like a match for you AT ALL. I'm sorry. I'm sure you love him but I've loved plenty of people who were bad for me

@kambam I can't even pack up and leave because I had to sign my car title over to him because I had a DUI a few years back and just recently paid everything off but my car is in his name and any time we've gotten into a fight he's not going to give it back because I'm... "An Unsafe unfit parent" (I'm not he just says I am and says I'm crazy whenever I'm actually right about something and gets me so fired up to the point that I have to make a scene to be heard... Which still doesn't work most of the time) ugh...

Idk what happened but I wish I would have approched this whole marriage much differently in the begining. I wish I was stronger willed back then instead of trying to appease him just to avoid a fight

@kambam most days I would say that you're absolutely right and today feels like one of those days... But now I'm stuck and I don't even know what to do... I'm battling postpartum depression and have a hard time just giving my son a bath by myself let alone figuring out how to start working again to save up to make anything happen

Well, you don't need a car to get away necessarily. Friends or family can help out. Or end scenario maybe you could rent something for a day or get an uber. Idk...I been thru all that dumb shitty relationship stuff, coparenting, you name it. Finally decided life is too short and my son deserves a happy healthy ME. Packed up and went about shit by myself. Don't have anyone to answer to.

@kambam Right on! If only it were that easy for me. In a new state with no friends family or funds.... Preferably I wish my husband could just see what kind of effect this has all had on me and have some fucking consideration for the matter and meet me somewhere in the middle.... But again to avoid conflict we dont talk about it.

Thanks for sharing some of your experience with me though, it gives me more to think about reguarding my options :)

I was sorta like you. I had nothing when I left. Nobody to help out. I was super scared and stressed but it all worked out after some initial suffering. You should also be able to communicate w husband more. Talking doesn't hurt but not talking does.

@kambam did you ever wish it worked out, or is this something you're more than pleased about? I have the initial fear that I could be giving up on a good thing. We were both raised very differently, my husband and I, as are most couples... I threw myself into the world very early out of habbit and made my life very public, where as he was polar opposite and prefered his privacy. My public lifestyle caused a glitch in both of our thinking... He thought it was all for attention, and when explained to me in the begining I could understand his reasoning behind thinking so... And I started to believe it, but as time passes I realize my folly and that I was making genuine lasting connections with individuals and felt like I was making a difference if not for anyone else at least for myself -reguardless the publics perspective or even his. and now that its all said and done I'm bitter. We've tried talking but I can't force him to understand my view, although I see where his is coming from - things get too heated when my past is brought up into the light because part of it is way too close to the sun for either of our comfort.

I just want my happy family to really be happy, but its difficult when I'm the only one thats angry and miserable. My ultimate goal is radical acceptance on all ends... Hence why I have my first appt to be placed with the appropriate therapist tomorrow 😌

Of course I wanted it to work out. I want that real family with my sons biological dad but it wasn't working. We were together 5 years and lots of drama at the end when I got pregnant. Once I had the baby it was hard to cope and having pushed him away it made me feel worse. So the relationship kept degrading. I was tired of fighting in front of my son and being stressed. So now I'm fine. I'm glad. And his dad can visit and its not as stressful. People do outgrow each other. And for us women having a baby is life changing. It doesn't mean we don't love the same people or like the same things. We just grow and go different ways. So glad you can see a therapist! I hope it goes well for you.

@kambam thank you thank you thank you so much thank you again! talking to you has been immensely helpful today! The last time I talked to my grandmother I told her that I don't want to be this unhappy in 5 years... So I am allowing myself sometime to adjust and possibly grow more in all of this. I don't know if 5 years is an exact count but we'll see. I'm glad that things have worked out in such a way for you where your son can still see his dad and things are not as stressful... That gives me a lot of Hope

Yeah I just wanted to share a little. Hate hearing about people being unhappy in relationships. Follow your heart but use your head I always say. Life is way way way too short for bullshit.