My boyfriend hasn’t changed ONE diaper ever and my son is 9 months old. He hasn’t fed him in about 5 months, he doesn’t bath him and hes never been left alone with him and he doesn’t even wake up during the night to help with him. He MAYBE washes the bottles at night if it’s a good day and I’m confused as to how bc I’m a woman IM supposed to do all that by myself?? lmfao ya no.
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He should never hit you. “Nothing” or not. He clearly think he’s justified to do so because he didn’t like what you said. That is not okay. And it is never okay.
@mommaofjais, I’ve tried I found out everything I had to do for getting custody and my rights and his and I almost did it but then he went crazy crying that he needs me and can’t lose me and he cut him self bc of it and sent it to me and that’s why I came back and didn’t do it and now he has a nasty scar from it
More than likely and I hate to say it but you’re son could grow up the same way if that’s what he sees as “normal”.
Check out the hotline.org
They have a number you can call and they can help you figure out what to do.
@mommaofjais, yeah his dad is abusive and hits him and his little brother and his wife and always has been so he’s grown up in a bad environment and is fucked up in the head bc of it I’m not defending him bc it’s not right but that’s why I think he is the way he is
Oh hun... 😢 that’s a whole different story. You need to run. I know it’s scary thinking of what could happen if you left. He should never, EVER put his hands on you. What kind of example is that to y’all’s baby.
He’s got issues and he needs help.
@mommaofjais, spoiler alert, he’s slapped me punched my ear hit my jaw pulled me back by my hair so hard it popped my whole neck etc :))))) so he’s not the bet either if I’m being honest I’m only with him bc I’m scared what will happen if I leave also when things are good they are SO good but those rare times when things get bad it’s BAD but I just I feel like there’s so much more good than bad so I stay
Love is a strong emotion and sometimes it makes it harder for us to leave bad situations. I would never suggest leaving your baby’s father unless he physically hurt you or your child. But there comes a point where, you mentally and emotionally can’t take it anymore. And that’s unhealthy for you and for y’all’s baby.
Mental abuse is just as real as physical and sometimes it hurts worse.
@mommaofjais, yeah who knows I mean I love him to death but man idk
He sounds like he has a few issues that he needs to work out. Because that kind of behavior is not okay. Since you guys are a young couple, maybe going to talk to a professional would help too.
My husband and I are not too much older than y’all (I’m 22, he’s 21) So, I’m not meaning anything bad by calling y’all young
@mommaofjais, honestly he turns it on me that I’m crazy and I’m psycho and I’m over reacting and etc and I’m like oh okay maybe I am maybe I am problem
I’m just spitting out what worked for me. And girl, you’re welcome. I know how bad it can suck and you can just feel so alone. And if you’re like me, you can start to feel crazy thinking that maybe you’re overreacting (spoiler alert, you’re not)
@mommaofjais, you give some good ass advice thanks for listening to me rant and helping
Also, if it would help, try talking to him and saying “babe, I know you come home exhausted. I know you work hard for us. I appreciate it. I’m exhausted too. So, why don’t we help each other out so we can both get the breaks that we need so neither of us go insane.”
It’s all about teamwork.
Yup, I can relate. That’s why I started forcing my husband to watch Jais alone. He would say the same shit. I was just like “you wanna act like you could do better? Well, here you go.”
He started acting different for sure. Now, when comes home, he goes and picks up Jais first thing. And I can do things like take a shower in peace lol We’re actually a team now and it’s nice.
I hope your boyfriend comes to terms with reality soon because I know how exhausting it is trying to be the best mom you can be, take care of the house, go to school and have to deal with a man who just doesn’t care. You feel like giving up. But don’t give up. It can all change. It did for me and I never thought it would. You just gotta stay on his case.
@mommaofjais, god yes he doesn’t get that’s it’s hard! He always says “he’s a baby how hard can it be” and I’m like bitch you can’t even watch him for 10 minuets without freaking out or yelling for help like what the fuck I’m home alone till he gets home so I do everything myself with no help while still doing college online and trying to maintain myself happy like I don’t have a care here so literally the only time I leave the house is for doctor appointments or grocery shopping and if I take Cameron for a walk which I just started doing yesterday it’s so hard
He sounds really stubborn. Sorry you’re having to deal with that.
I let my man know that just because you work doesn’t mean you don’t have to be a father. Changing a diaper, washing bottles, and holding your son doesn’t go away just because you work. That is complete bull shit.
Tell him he’s missing out on precious memories with his baby and he’ll regret it later.
Also, being a mother is a job in itself. A job with no breaks. No coming home, putting your feet up and playing video games. So, he automatically deserves all of that just because his job pays? No.
@kaitlynsmaberry1, fuck that! Yeah I’d pack my shit and leave,
@mommaofjais, I LITERALLY JUST SAID THIS MORNING BEFORE HE LEFT FOR WORK “I’ll be a fucking single mom then since that’s what it feels like I’ll find someone better who tries and actually cares and helps out” and he said “whatever kait” then 5 minuets later he comes up to me “you done with your attitude yet?” And I was like “you done being an asshole yet?” And he rolled his eyes and left but I don’t give a fuck I’m not going to be pushed around anymore I already left my family and moved in with him and his 2 1/2 hours away and left my college to do online and take care of the baby and etc like no
@courtney5610, my boyfriend only work 8-5 or 12-9 shifts and has two days off during the week it’s his child too so he needs to do something other than coming home yelling and hitting and playing video games every second of the day
Hell no! I wouldn’t put up with that.
My husband tried to pull that crap with me and I just straight up told him “if you wanna treat me like I’m a single mother than I’m gonna be one. You’ll lose me and your son”
Sometimes they just need to be slapped in the face with reality.
My husband helps out a lot now.
I think with young fathers, they tend to be overwhelmed. Which is understood by at the same time, they need to suck it up and realize they’re just as much as a parent as we mothers are.
My boyfriend works 12-15 hour shifts 7 days a week, so I don’t expect him to lift a finger for shit
@mommaofjais, I dooooo and when I tell him to do things he gets pissed off bc I’m interrupting his “relaxing time” and yesterday we left him with him for literally 20 minuets while we got food real fast and 10 minuets in he calls asking where we are bc he’s crying and getting fussy like pick him up? Rock him? See if it’s his diaper? Or hungry? Or tired? The fuck? I swear ugh
Start handing him the baby and saying “change him” , “feed him” etc That’s what I had to do with my husband. I told him “I didn’t make our son by myself so why do you expect me to take care of him myself”
Also, leave him alone with him for a few hours. He’ll see real quick how difficult it is to take care of a baby by yourself and maybe he’ll start to appreciate you more.
@boymamachronicles, he uses the excuse that he works and provides for us so I have to do the cooking cleaning and baby caring and I’m like tf???? I get he’s immature bc he’s 19 and I’m 20 but grow the fuck up
lol yeah, you're a woman and he's a what? lazy ass. 🙄🤦🏽♀️
And by y’all’s picture, he is a lot bigger than you so his “nothing” is a lot more than that.
Just because you’re not bruised up and bleeding doesn’t mean what he did isn’t a big deal. He needs to be held responsible for his actions or it’s never gonna end. It’s only gonna get worse.