I tell you what as soon as you have something going good for God the devil swoops in and tries to…

I tell you what as soon as you have something going good for God the devil swoops in and tries to ruin everything!!!! I have recently decided to refrain from sex bc for so long I have given my body away like it was nothing to men who only wanted to use and abuse then leave me. I just want this relationship to be real to know he is there for me! And I want to learn to love myself again... well I’m pretty sure I just lost my boyfriend and my child’s father bc he was not ready for the change and now I’m faced with giving myself away again only causing more damage bc I really really don’t want to... this was a commitment to myself and with God I don’t know what to do. Advice is welcome