This may sound crazy but I've broken through my depression🤗 and I think I'm ready to leave my…

@emileemoreland5 true but he doesn't want to do therapy

@emileemoreland5 well we had an argument last night that got me into being more positive about myself I realized alot and said it out loud and then it's like whatever sad depressed haze I've been in is gone and I didn't get with him just to have kids I want the whole package but we've realized there's alot going on with us by ourselves that we need to fix those things before we can grow together and move forward in our relationship he went from wanting to leave to staying to wanting to leave to now wanting to stay again and just him get counseling and help because now that I'm happy he's now been able to take a look at himself and he said he's realized it's not me it's himself and he wants to get rid of his bottled up emotions he feels like him being homeless for 3yrs before he met me really affected him and he does sometimes get flashbacks of how it was when he was homeless and I just let him know that yes he can get PTSD from something traumatic as going through homelessness and that just cause it wasn't a war or something doesn't mean he can't get PTSD. I do still want therapy myself and I plan to get it and I do have antidepressant pills named welbutrin but I haven't take them since I got out of the mental hospital but I also no longer feel suicidal

@emileemoreland5 also in those msgs he understands my humor and how I joke I'd never cause harm to him ever he's too sweet of a person for me nor anyone to ever do that to

@emileemoreland5 thank you and yah we plan to eventually do couples counseling after we've worked through our issues separately with different therapist

@emileemoreland5 true very true I've been on the psychology today website but Im considering using the Better help site for my therapist

@sapphirelevaou I have read alot of your posts and can honestly say as a counselor that you guys need to figure this out before trying to conceive it only makes things harder and potentially will hurt the baby the most if you guys do not make it. If your not happy with him and from your posts you can tell your not then you need to think about it before putting a innocent child in the middle of it! Hope you guys get the help you need..

@sapphirelevaou not only that but u are trying to conceive and planning on and finally ready to leave him I don't understand how you are thinking on two levels here. Are you leaving or wanting to have kids with him I'm confused.

@aliciabrewer59 ok so for the entire year we've been together we've been trying for kids we did stop tracking in the January cycle because everyone said stop trying and it'll happen only I ovulated later than expected so the symptims I thought were pregnancy were actually post Ovulation. We here in the past few days have been a bit unhappy but also what couple doesn't have their squabbles but due to a argument we had last night and this afternoon made me think that maybe we wouldn't be together since there was talk or threats of divorce and splitting up but getting in a mindset where youre no longer scared when the person makes comments or threats about separation or divorce and you are finally strong enough to feel like if it did happen then you would be just fine and not all broken apart

@sapphirelevaou very true this does happen. I only commented to honestly help me and my ex had bad bad relationship and I tried so hard to make sure it was not hard on her but no matter how hard I try it is and has been so hard for her and hurts me so bad to see that it has had an effect on her but she is a strong girl and me staying and her being there was so much worse so I'm glad I chose to make the decisions I made. I just wanted to give insight and food for thought and hope it helps you!

@aliciabrewer59 well usually we work it out but in the moment i guess you could say u panic and think ahead for the potential worst case or whichever way I happen to see the chips falling and yes I've let him know that with the pretty things we argue about that it's hard for me to see us truly being able survive having kids

Well if you ever need to talk I'm always willing to listen I hope things work out well for you witch ever way you choose.