I dont know what to do. Been with my bf for almost five years. He texted me yesterday and said he…

Your baby will love you! If he can't handle you while you're pregnant, than he doesn't deserve you any time. It's not your fault and I know what you mean that you feel like it's your fault, but they'll make any excuse. We've been broken up for a long time now but I've known my sons dad (also new baby's dad) for six years and we been together for four. He also said that with my son, that I was crazy and still says I'm crazy. That he couldn't handle it. Up until TODAY when I decided to stop talking to him, I still have to force him every single day of my sons life to be around. He always makes my actions or feelings or behavior an excuse for why he's not around. Now regardless of how nice and perfect I act, he's still not around. I have never not one time denied him seeing our son. But he will go weeks ignoring me and use every excuse in the book, one being that I am crazy. Crazy while pregnant and I'm pregnant again with our second baby and after everythinggggg he's still going to leave me alone through my pregnancy and "be here when the baby is here" He's not going to be. He isn't here for our son now. He isn't there for anybody but himself. If your dude can't be here for you through this then what else can't he be there for you. If he can't understand and change now, before the baby is here... I say you save yourself the heartbreak and not allow him back after. I never thought he would do this to me again and I love this man. But here I am now taking care of our almost two year old ALONE and also pregnant. I don't knoe how I'm going to take care of two babies alone... I never wanted this. I feel depressed every day but today I realized I do this alone. I can do this alone. I won't let him come and go in my life or our children. If he wants to see our son he's going to have to take me to court. I am not going to listen to him anymore.

He still tells me he loves me almost every time we talk. That I'm the only one for him and he misses me and my son, thinks about us always, and he will be here... in two weeks, or when the baby is here, when I can not talk to him badly, blah blah.. the list goes on. He isn't here and I have called him with emergencies and him yelled at me. Any time that we need something he CAN'T come or he HAS to do something else. He doesn't understand how messed up this is. By me taking care of my son completely and allowing him to come and go, he thinks that he can do whatever he wants and we will be okay. I wish I would have done things different and maybe it wouldn't be this way. Do not let him do that to you.

@babymay2016 see I want to believe men can change, but it almost makes it worse when they disappoint you and prove that they will never change. It's hard to think someone can walk out on us and claim hes still going to be a good father. I dont believe him at all anymore. They don't understand how tiring and hard it us, i have been exhausted mentally and physically and while I love him and will probably always love him I know I can't put my baby through this. I can't help but hope for you and others going through the same thing that they will change and be there for you because no one deserves to feel like this. This should be the happiest time of our lives. And so far I've spent most of it crying.

Wow just two weeks ago he said he wanted to marry me and didnt want anyone else. I dont know what they want us to believe anymore.

After 2 doctors appointments he was already asking if he had to go to the other one. Fffffffff.

It makes me so sad. I think it's easuer for them to walk away while we deal with the reality.

Yes I know exactly what you mean. I have always wished for change and I have begged him and explained so much but he does not understand. He even still says that he's a good father and he's been good to me and that I am a terrible person and how much he hates me. He tells me everyday he is going to simply call me, text me, or come over. He will go days/weeks without replying. Reading my texts that our son is sick, our son needs diapers, I'm so sad and miss him and we need him. I will text him 30 times or 2 times and no reply. It doesn't matter if I curse or if I'm the nicest most patient person there is. Then when he is around he has no explanation and doesn't want to talk about it and says how much he loves us and only wants me. Then he tries to sleep with me and I'm like WHAT. He acts like no time has passed, everything's cool. He says "Well I said I'd be here today and I'm here today. This time I am." promises he will be better, he's so sorry, he knows he fucked up this time. I believe him, I try to. Then he disappears. Every. Damn. Time. This should be a happy time... our babies deserve better. So for both of mine I'm gonna not give any more chances. It hurts me so much. I love him SO much. I truly have no idea what I'm going to do without him and I don't want to be without him. But he's NOT who he envisions himself to be in his head or pretends to be. I already do it alone and I have no other choice for my kids. That's why I do it.

It is easier for sure. For them. Being pregnant and alone is really one of the most trying things. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, personally. I thought he understood what he had done too. So much that I let him in and around all this time, after that terrible thing he did to me. And now I'm going to do it again, alone! He swore to me this would never happen again. He still right now would say that he doesn't want that either and he will be there through it all. He will go to appts, classes, whatever I need. Get my medicine and clothes and take some of the weight off so I can rest. Nahhhhh. If THIS is love, I don't fucking want it! I wanna give it back. He is never here and he tricks me soooo easily with his words but he neverrr comes through. It never hurts less and it hurts more and more with each time it happens.

I hope you keep you're head up and stay strong. I feel like we are with the same person 😔 there's a reason we were with them and it's the children. I know that with or without him the baby will be my world and that's all that matters to me right now. Just show them we are strong and can do this without them. I dont want him to see how said and hurt I am. I refuse to give him that credit.

Thank you, I hope you do the same. For so long I didn't care how he made me feel really I guess and I kept hoping because I love him. Then I realized (and still didn't leave yet) but I realized that not only does he disappoint me and never show up for me... he's going to inevitably do that to my son. I guess I thought it was okay because I provide for my son and he does not yet realize what is happening. He is happy and taken care of. But one day my son will call his dad and listen to all his bull shit, and never get that call back... he'll be waiting on the porch all night long for his dad to pick him up, and end up inside waiting from the cold. It is what he does and it doesn't matter how urgent the matter is, we will never be important enough!

And actions speak louder than words. My baby is only 9 weeks and I already feel the same way. I dont want anyone to disappoint this baby, especially her own father. Woman are just stronger than men and we are able to put up with so much more and love unconditionally. You're son will love you and all the time and effort and love you gave to him his whole life.

Imma tell you the saddest part but two nights ago I was feeling very in need of some loving and I don't have anyone else I talk to or am intimate with, despite what he thinks... anyways mind you for months/year's I will be wanting to not live anymore, or taking my son to the ER, or reallllly need something or five seconds of his time. NOT EVEN A REPLY. I texted him and knew exactly what would happen but I texted him and said something like "Please come over. I really just want some sex. I won't say anything else about it just please it has to be tonight. I need you" He text back riiiiiight awayyy. He was here exactlyyyy when he said he would be here. We had sex and the whole time I was offended but saving that for the morning. But he said he loved me and missed this and it was very intimate and great tbh. But that was fucked up. He can't come over for our son deathly ill or on his way home to give me a hug because I was feeling totally alone and needed to know anyone cared about me.... not even reply..... But sure sex? I'm on the way!

That's exactly what I told him is I'm interested in ACTIONS. I don't want to hear sorry again, or even that he loves me and wishes he could be here. He isn't going to make my son feel like this. My son is very smart and starting to understand. He doesn't even remember who his dad is I'm not even kidding, and it hasn't been long but it's few times when he is around now. The last time he came over he was like "Hi baby. Daddy missed you! Omg I love you" and my sons just like ".........." no reaction. Yeahhh. For now it's no reaction but eventually he's going to want daddy like I want him and he isn't going to be there. I will call for him but he's NOT going to answer and if he says he will be there, he won't. My son has asked me to call him before or merely said dadadada over and over and crying hysterically. He knows what it sounds like when he phone is dialing. And he will be quiet then and wait and day dada? And start crying again when he doesn't answer. My son doesn't know the difference or will forget but it kills me

Wow. He really has his priorities straight. They can sleep with us and that's good enough for them, but the important things they just can't be there. I really think they just do the easy stuff. Like getting us pregnant and then walking out on us. I bet my ex would do the same exact thing. Sex? Sure. Emotional support? Nope.

Exactly. It is very sad. Made me feel like total crap for a moment and then honestly I just looked past it then and got what I was wanting at the time and tried not to think about how much I despise him. Then after we were done, I told him I was tired and he needed to leave. He texted me that night saying he loved me and goodnight babe. Text me yesterday asking how me and my son were, and never replied again. Lol we weren't doing so great but then I realized a lot of nights we aren't doing great, but we get through it. I woke up this morning with a new outlook, seeing my sons happy smiling face after the "terrible" night we had. I love my son so much I wouldn't ever want to miss a single night or morning, good or bad. I don't know how he does it. I'm going to let him do it and do this every day with no distraction of his bullshit.

@babymay2016 and maybe you walking away and focusing on yourself and you're babies will wake him up. But if not, he is the one losing out.

I think if I would have done that originally, then maaaaybe... But I think that me allowing all of this to happen, is why he will never understand. Maybe I'm wrong and just trying to blame myself. I hope that one day he can be a good father but I think our days as partners to each other have long and gone. I don't know. I still pray for us every day.

I understand completely. If my ex wanted to come back and say he would change I would let him Back In. But then again I feel so disappointed knowing that, that maybe I would be strong enough to say no. Love shouldn't destroy you it should lift you up. I blame myself a lot, but I have to stop for this baby. It needs me to be strong and loving.