So... I am going to see my ex, Derek... And I am so nervous it's been almost a year since we have…

So... I am going to see my ex, Derek... And I am so nervous it's been almost a year since we have since each other. Steven knows and agreed to it but I still don't feel right.. I am starting to feel like I shouldn't go.. But he's lending me some money that we desperately need... Ugh I am so anxious right now, my mind is racing... I can't keep up..