I don't get it what am I doing wrong my 5 year old won't even listen to me even when I tell her nicely to do something…

I don't get it what am I doing wrong my 5 year old won't even listen to me even when I tell her nicely to do something and then she thinks she has to argue with me but when daddy tells her ok daddy but when mommy or nana it's yelling screaming I don't want to do it by myself or I'm never gonna talk to you ever again and it's like fucking seriously what is going on and it's stressing me out I don't even know what to do anymore.