Finding it so incredibly hard to be positive. I just want a BFP. Maybe it’s my time to be pregnant…

Finding it so incredibly hard to be positive. I just want a BFP. Maybe it’s my time to be pregnant this month. But without menstruating since coming off I’m worried that I’m not. I already have such a high chance of infertility. It’s almost 3 months already. I keep praying and asking God to bless us. My husband keeps saying he wants a big family a family of his own. What if I can’t give him that? It’s like everyone around me is pregnant and for most of them I’m so happy for them but I’m so jealous. I want to be a mama. I should be at the point of implementation so we will see. Prayers for baby dust.