I feel like such a failure as a mother , the first day I felt nothing, i didnt even feel the desire…

I feel like such a failure as a mother , the first day I felt nothing, i didnt even feel the desire to hold him. And the second day im just feeling everything i feel so weak and fragile my blood pressure/ sugar got so low i cant even keep my own body warm without a full body blanket how am i supposed to take care of a child when i cant even do something so simple. Its so hard to tell when i hve to pee i go to the washroom and my body is just like whoosh urine i cant even make it to the shower or toilet im a mess. And i cant sleep i just keep thinking about how much pain i was in, in labor, the burning pain and me screaming. Remembering yourself in so much pain is hard to process. I don't know if im gonna get over it, i can still cry over thinking about all the pain i must have been in as an infant with allergies and that was 19 years ago and i have no memory of it.  Ive gotten 2 hours of sleep in the past 52 hours including the 4-5 hours of intense labor. my body is so physically exhausted no wonder it gave out but I just cant sleep, laying in bed just drowning in thoughts definetely doesnt help but i cant even do anything but lay here cause of my physical exhaustion i feel trapped in my own body