I do my best not to judge people... not to even talk about those who irritate me or to even let them…

I do my best not to judge people... not to even talk about those who irritate me or to even let them cross my mind. But my mans ex gets under my skin with her total ignorance. It's never her fault but it's everyone else's. Omg. I can't deal with this bs.... I do my best not to talk to her because I will tell her exactly what she should be doing. She doesn't like me because I do so. It irritates me when she half ass mothers her children. She steps up when I get more involved and I always actually care for her kids. I always have and I will never treat them wrong because of her. All I have heard from my ex's family are crappy mothering stories of her. So when he got with me and she realized he was really gone, she stepped up her game as a mom. I was happy... that's great for her kids. I would never contest that. But she still half asses it at times while my man and I are always here for those kids. I buy them anything they need if they ever do. I got them backpacks for school when the ones she got fell apart shortly after school started. I got them coats for the winter last year and this year when she thought we had them but nope, turns out she did months after cold weather hit 🙄 she sends them to my house in clothes that don't fit and never returns what we dress them in and send them to her house. And she has her daughter relay messages between her and my man. He does better with attempting to ignore it as long as his kids are ok but not me. I want to tell her "you have a voice and if you are the parent be the responsible one and quit allocating responsibilities on your 8 year old that she does not need to do for you." Damn... yes I'm pissed. I wish I could handle this better but she is pretty trashy and doesn't like that I help her kids without question or asking her for a damn thing. All I do is smile.