Okay, so. My fiancé smokes weed, but stopped at the beginning of December because r son will be here in just a few weeks. I told him he needed to stop because he had troubles with his daughter with his other baby mother who accused him of child abuse and got rights of her. So we have had problems with cps and if they come out with a newborn in our home and drugs are being used they will cause problems for us. Am I really in the wrong for asking him to take a drug test for me? He’s refusing and saying it’s disrespectful but he isn’t the most honest guy being completely real. So is it actually wrong of me to be making sure my son is in a safe zone when he gets here? Because I shouldn’t have to stress that he’s making bad decisions that can cause us to lose r son because he wants to say I’m selfish for not believing him when he comes home from his friends with blood shot eyes. ):
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Not in the wrong. Get away from him. The relationship seems like it’s going to turn toxic all because he likes weed. If you choose that man over your baby. You’ll be screwed. Because you will get that baby taken away especially with that crappy ex of his. So if you kick him out because he’s a weed smoker and he happily leaves he never cared about you or the baby in the first place.
Bassicially sounds like if he doesnt do one then he is doing the drug. Its not worth staying around, and getting your son taken from you. Your a mother now, its your job to keep your baby safe from whatever and whoever.
@damiensmommy1117 Also keep in mind that even if you weren't the user they can still take your baby away from the both of you because they assume you were knowledgeable and still kept your baby in an unsafe home.
No you are not wrong. If he refuses then it's best for you to stay away from him until he can clear himself... i'm not saying break up with him but stay somewhere that you know is safe for tou and your baby. So, if he takes the test and turns out negative - Great... and you now have evidence in the future incase he one day decides to smoke up again and gets caught by CPS. Then atleast you can fight in court that you werent involved and did what you could to keep your house safe.
@damiensmommy1117, that does definitely help!
I just don’t get it. I’m apparently an asshole for asking but shouldn’t e want to do everything he can to make sure I’m not stressing these last few weeks of pregnancy? Lol. I don’t even know how to handle this.
You're not in the wrong and just to put your mind at ease, if cps does come and there are drugs then they will drug test all of you. If he is positive and they threaten to take the baby then they will most likely let you leave and take the baby if you tell them you won't be with him. Maybe that will give him a wake up call.
Nope, you're NOT wrong ! He needs too want to do right by his kids & if he can't then ✌🏽
That's crazy. But that's selfish of him. Especially if that's y'all baby. He shouldn't want that baby getting taken from you guys. My husnand had the same issue. But he waited for them to close the case before he started smoking again. Tell him at least wait for them to close the case.