I just need to vent.... So for awhile now I've been obsessed with wanting to take the next step with…

I just need to vent....

So for awhile now I've been obsessed with wanting to take the next step with my boyfriend. I've had a picture in my head of how my perfect life would go and being pregnant b4 having a ring on my finger wasn't how the picture looks...b4 I was pregnant I stressed to him how I wanted to be married b4 babies. That didn't happen and I guess I thought it might happen sometime soon after at least...ik he got me a ring but it was a cheap one that he ended up not liking but he was sposed to give it to me on our big date on December 12th...we didn't end up having that date and he didn't propose...for some reason I thought it might be a Christmas present Cuz he spent like $300 on me anyway...but tonight I saw him looking at rings on his phone and asked why he didn't refine his search to his budget to get an accurate picture of what he could get...(he was looking at $5k rings and im too cheap for that)..he chuckled and said "bc I'm not looking to buy now...I'm just looking"...my pregnancy hormones made me feel like I just got my heart broken and I started crying...ik I'm being selfish but I was so excited thinking that it would be soon...