Question for those with multiple kids. Do you agree with if you take one you should take them all or is it okay for a family member just to want your oldest for some one on one time.
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@nomli, I lost my mom too. The reason I want to take the oldest is bc she is 15 and pregnant. She is due in March and if I don’t see her over Christmas break I probably won’t get to see her until after the baby is born. Truth be told I do favor her over the others and I need to be better and I think now that I have kids of my own I will be but the whole point was to see her and be there as a form of support during this crazy time.
Well one on one sometimes but I generally do everything with then because they could feel left out.
Definitely do one-on-one. They are so important, as long as you don't always favor one over the others. My last one-on-one with my mom got interrupted by my sister getting sick, so mom promised me we'd have a day together soon. She died that weekend.
@eaj8290, see that's what I thought but my mil is acting like I don't love my younger siblings just bc I want to spend time with the oldest one.
Oh, of course! I'm sure she needs support and some time with just you. That's tough. I hope she gets support from other family members too!!
And favoring isn't all bad. I meant more it's bad if you consistently ignore the others while showering the one with attention, but even just a small convo about some interest covers that.