I’m off tomorrow but I’m still taking Isabelle to her babysitter for a few hours. I feel incredibly…

I’m off tomorrow but I’m still taking Isabelle to her babysitter for a few hours. I feel incredibly guilty and hypocritical doing this considering I’m always upset that I can’t spend more time with her and that her babysitter spends the brunt of the day with her, but I feel like it’s needed. I need me time.

I am an extremely introverted person. I spend 45-50 hours a week around people. Listening to them bitch, listening to them ramble on about themselves. It is SO draining. Then I come home and spend time with Isabelle, and as much as I love her, I will say that she is VERY draining. It’s obviously not her fault. She’s a toddler, she likes, wants, and needs interaction. I get it. I enjoy giving it to her. But it just drains me more. Then David comes home and I spend time with him, and he’s an absolute chatterbox after work so it just drains me more. At this point it’s late into the evening and I’m just tuning a lot of it out because the constant noise just becomes excruciating. When I put Isabelle to bed I retreat to our room to spend just a few minutes by myself, in silence, and going to bed to prepare for it again the next day. By the time I get a day off, my energy is gone, physically and mentally. I’m exhausted. I’m irritated. I have no motivation.

This week is going to be especially difficult with Black Friday coming up. Business has been busier than usual and I find every chance I get to retreat into the back office for a few moments of peace bc I don’t want to deal with anyone else. It’s messing with my work performance. We also have two thanksgivings to attend, both with lots of people, which just makes me anxious.

So tomorrow: tomorrow is just for me. I have groceries scheduled to be delivered TO MY APARTMENT (how cool is that? I’m ecstatic) to avoid the mayhem of the store. I’m going to deep clean the house, clean out my car (well needed), and continue my embroidery project that’s been sitting idle for over a week. I might stop by the library. I’m going to shower, really shower, not just wash my body as fast as I can before I’m needed again. I might even shave my legs. 😂

Tomorrow will be just me.