Mum's any advice on how to get your child to be an independent player? Zaid started walking at 9…
Mum's any advice on how to get your child to be an independent player?
Zaid started walking at 9 months and he was very very unstable and would fall often, so I got into the habit of spending the day sitting by him to play with him and catch him if he fell. He obvs got over that stage within a month and slowly he started to get more independent. And then I got bigger and bigger and just out of laziness would sit with him majority of the day while he played and just do my housework etc. When he slept. Now however it seems he needs me to direct his play. He will only play in the room that I'm in. If I'm just sitting on the sofa he barely plays, he'll choose to get books out and read with me rather than just get on with his own toys. Or play climb all over me and the sofa, cuddles and kisses. Just seems so clingy. My worry is when baby comes it'll be a huge reality check for him that mummy can't sit and play with you all day. Or more importantly constantly direct the play. E. G. Help stack blocks, read books, answer the constant stream of questions, peekaboo. I don't know. Is it normal? Will he just slowly become more independent when no.2 comes? We go stay and play at least twice a week but honestly even then he needs constant reassurance during his play. I've seen go off into their own worlds, and mines constantly turns back to get a clap from me or direction or something??
Kate Bodell·
I know it sounds strange but it might be nothing to do with you playing with him on the floor etc. He might know something is about to happen so hes being clingy with you. When i was at your stage of pregnancy my daughter became very clingy with me. She would only napnif she was laid on me and would rather sit with me than play on the floor. Little ones are quite clever! Do you go to any baby groups? What is he like at them?
Noshin·
@kayteamay I have thought about that tbh! Also my wonder weeks app says he's going through a leap that makes him more clingy. So I get it. I just worry he'll really struggle once baby is here? How did your LO cope? And yes in stay and plays he's still very clingy. Always first 15 minutes he doesn't go far from me if it's a small group, or if there's strangers who tried to talk to him etc. And just generally he's never mindlessly playing not caring about where I am, he always checks and needs reassurance. Could just be his nature?
Kate Bodell·
I did worry about Lola struggling but since Maeve has arrived shes been fine. She tends to ignore her but every now and then wants to cuddle or kiss her. She does get very stressed if the baby starts crying though.
Your son might be a bit like my son. Ellis is very soft natured which isnt a bad thing at all. Hes definitely a mummys boy and always has been. The boys in his class like playing football and wrestling whereas Ellis would rather read a book.
Becca·
My little girl will only play in a room I’m in she will play on her own but when I leave the room she follows me she is nearly 18 months! We have a big family so she’s always been with people during the day I’d love to know how to get her to play in her room on her own! @noshinxoxo,
Noshin·
@kayteamay I would love a soft natured boy lool, but mine is already all for kicking and smashing! But definitely he's very much a mummy's boy. He's obsessed with babies atm which makes me so happy. I'm glad to hear Lola adjusted okay. How are you finding it with the age gap?
Noshin·
@beccarossxx that's so funny! I thought it was cos my little man is alone all day with only me. Whereas yours is around people and the same. It must just be certain kids nature then! Wonder how we'll crack this. Hope they grow out of it?!
Kate Bodell·
@noshinxoxo its not as hard as i thought it would be. It makes it easier that Ellis is at school all day so i can just focus on the girls.
Becca·
She’s with just me most of the day but growing up we lived with my mum,dad and brother until she was 1 she was was used to having someone around all the time now it’s just me in the day it drives me mad! 😂 I hope they will grow out of it but then I suppose we will be wishing they want to be around us again 😂 they grow up to fast!! @noshinxoxo,
Sara-Louise·
It's probably a phase. I'd just carry on mixing your time with playing with him & giving him space to entertain himself. Even if he follows you around. You can still talk with him. Explain you have to do this & will join him again soon. Morgan's always been independent but even he needed me a lot when he was playing. He wanted me to build & be directly with his activity to guide him. As he's gotten older he's become more able to play by himself. I love sitting back and watching him.
Noshin·
@sara-lou86 That's so reassuring to here. I've been getting pushy advice from my parents that I need to start doing something about it or I'll suffer when it's two kids. That's why it's been niggling at me. But I have no idea what to do. I love giving him time and doing constructive play with him.
Sara-Louise·
You'll always get people with their views and ways they think we should deal with our children. I did when I was first pregnant then even more 2nd time. Everyone warning me how hard it will be, how much Morgan will be affected and I need to make sure I do this & that. Best advice I could give is just go with the flow! Lol. Every child has to adjust when a sibling comes along. Part of life. The fact yours will have a small age gap means in a year or 2 they'll never know any different! He's so young he'll always remember having a sibling. I don't think Morgan could imagine Max not being around now but is still learning how to share etc.