Mom.life
Need some advice. So the ladies that know of me here know that at the last minute, one week before my wedding, my mother decided to go back on her word about paying for my wedding. This left us with pulling 10k out of our butts, last minute, bc she was offended when we told her to let US be Natalia's parents. So now, my husband is still salty about it. He says he doesn't want my mother buying things for our daughter, well, Christmas is coming up. This is her first grandbaby and grandbaby's first Christmas. So the stress I have dealt with since August is still there. My take is this; I think it's not fair at all what my mother did to us but I also think it's not fair to my mother to tell her that she cannot get gifts for my daughter. This crap is honestly going to be the crap that tears my marriage apart. I told my mother not to get her anything last night. She flipped out on me. So here I am, AGAIN, in the middle of this and ready to pull my hair out.
05.11.2017
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twinpeanut
twinpeanut
@lillyb thank you honey
05.11.2017 Нравится Ответить
lillyb
lillyb
That's really stressful and I totally understand being in the middle of a rough situation as I am still in one between my parents and the parents of my god daughters 😧 I don't feel that ur mom shouldn't be allowed to get for her granddaughter and she probably will anyway. I kno ur husband feels that she should and doesn't want her to and u def don't want to put ur marriage at risk. Uve probably already tried taking to him and telling him how u feel about it. Me and my husband when we disagree about something we try to find a compromise about the situation that we both can agree with. If nothing else I agree about just focusing on ur child and husband for now. Eventually this all will blow over. Sending u positive vibes as it's very stressful and being in the middle at times makes u feel like ur at fault as well. I'm always here to listen I'm just a PM away.
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braindeadmama
braindeadmama
@twinpeanut, you’re welcome. It is really hard, and it can be stressful at times. But this isn’t a discussion between you and your mother, this is a discussion between you and your husband. You need to let him know that you are uncomfortable with what he is asking you to do. That you love your mom but you love him more and you just don’t want put in this position anymore
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twinpeanut
twinpeanut
@embracemthrhd2 thank you
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twinpeanut
twinpeanut
@sawyersmom good advice, thank you
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embracemthrhd2
embracemthrhd2
I think about it this way... i live with my husband and child so that's where the peace needs to be... in the home... if mom isnt upset about one thing its gonna be another... the hubby happiness should be #1
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braindeadmama
braindeadmama
@twinpeanut, I have. And my husband has told my dad for me. We focus on our circle. Because at one point, we worried more about people outside of our circle (our parents) and we almost lost our marriage
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twinpeanut
twinpeanut
@rola her cooling off should've been to honor her word of helping to pay rather than having brand new parents worry about that crap. She promised us then when I was in the hospital for labor and delivery, she bragged to his parents that she was going to pay for it. Soo basically she made HERSELF look like an ass
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twinpeanut
twinpeanut
@sawyersmom as much as I love and agree with that, if your husband tells you he wants you to tell your mother no christmas presents for the first born grandchild, could/would you? They have the same personality, stubborn/prideful. So what is great for one, conflicts 100% with the other
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braindeadmama
braindeadmama
The best advice anyone has ever given me: worry about your tiny circle; you, your husband, your child. They are your family, your life, and they are the most important people. People outside of the circle are important. But people inside of the circle mean the most.
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rola
rola
@twinpeanut then í say let it be ... She will eventually cool off ..
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harleyquinn13
harleyquinn13
@twinpeanut, I’m sorry love. You may just have to tell them that they have to sort this out on their own and that your mother needs to apologize for her being selfish.
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twinpeanut
twinpeanut
@rola i have SOO many times, since August
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rola
rola
Both of you need to talk about it first share feelings and thoughts then work on w hubby
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twinpeanut
twinpeanut
@littleonemorning The Worse Thing Is, She Can And Could Have Afforded It, She Was Just Being Spiteful But Insists She Wasn't. Like this whole situation is going to be what tears my marriage apart and that hurts me AND my daughter
05.11.2017 Нравится Ответить
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