Need some advice. So the ladies that know of me here know that at the last minute, one week before my wedding, my mother…
Need some advice. So the ladies that know of me here know that at the last minute, one week before my wedding, my mother decided to go back on her word about paying for my wedding. This left us with pulling 10k out of our butts, last minute, bc she was offended when we told her to let US be Natalia's parents. So now, my husband is still salty about it. He says he doesn't want my mother buying things for our daughter, well, Christmas is coming up. This is her first grandbaby and grandbaby's first Christmas. So the stress I have dealt with since August is still there. My take is this; I think it's not fair at all what my mother did to us but I also think it's not fair to my mother to tell her that she cannot get gifts for my daughter. This crap is honestly going to be the crap that tears my marriage apart. I told my mother not to get her anything last night. She flipped out on me. So here I am, AGAIN, in the middle of this and ready to pull my hair out.
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Мама дочки-младенца
@lillyb thank you honey
Dez·
Мама дочки-младенца
That's really stressful and I totally understand being in the middle of a rough situation as I am still in one between my parents and the parents of my god daughters 😧 I don't feel that ur mom shouldn't be allowed to get for her granddaughter and she probably will anyway. I kno ur husband feels that she should and doesn't want her to and u def don't want to put ur marriage at risk. Uve probably already tried taking to him and telling him how u feel about it. Me and my husband when we disagree about something we try to find a compromise about the situation that we both can agree with. If nothing else I agree about just focusing on ur child and husband for now. Eventually this all will blow over. Sending u positive vibes as it's very stressful and being in the middle at times makes u feel like ur at fault as well. I'm always here to listen I'm just a PM away.
Queen Bitch·
Мама сына (1 год)
@twinpeanut, you’re welcome. It is really hard, and it can be stressful at times. But this isn’t a discussion between you and your mother, this is a discussion between you and your husband. You need to let him know that you are uncomfortable with what he is asking you to do. That you love your mom but you love him more and you just don’t want put in this position anymore
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Мама дочки-младенца
@embracemthrhd2 thank you
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Мама дочки-младенца
@sawyersmom good advice, thank you
Naomi Israel ·
Мама четверых детей
I think about it this way... i live with my husband and child so that's where the peace needs to be... in the home... if mom isnt upset about one thing its gonna be another... the hubby happiness should be #1
Queen Bitch·
Мама сына (1 год)
@twinpeanut, I have. And my husband has told my dad for me. We focus on our circle. Because at one point, we worried more about people outside of our circle (our parents) and we almost lost our marriage
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Мама дочки-младенца
@rola her cooling off should've been to honor her word of helping to pay rather than having brand new parents worry about that crap. She promised us then when I was in the hospital for labor and delivery, she bragged to his parents that she was going to pay for it. Soo basically she made HERSELF look like an ass
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Мама дочки-младенца
@sawyersmom as much as I love and agree with that, if your husband tells you he wants you to tell your mother no christmas presents for the first born grandchild, could/would you? They have the same personality, stubborn/prideful. So what is great for one, conflicts 100% with the other
Queen Bitch·
Мама сына (1 год)
The best advice anyone has ever given me: worry about your tiny circle; you, your husband, your child. They are your family, your life, and they are the most important people. People outside of the circle are important. But people inside of the circle mean the most.
Ro·
Мама троих детей
@twinpeanut then í say let it be ... She will eventually cool off ..
Harley Quinn ·
Мама сына (1 год), беременна (16 нед.)
@twinpeanut, I’m sorry love. You may just have to tell them that they have to sort this out on their own and that your mother needs to apologize for her being selfish.
>_<·
Мама дочки-младенца
@rola i have SOO many times, since August
Ro·
Мама троих детей
Both of you need to talk about it first share feelings and thoughts then work on w hubby
>_<·
Мама дочки-младенца
@littleonemorning The Worse Thing Is, She Can And Could Have Afforded It, She Was Just Being Spiteful But Insists She Wasn't. Like this whole situation is going to be what tears my marriage apart and that hurts me AND my daughter
>_<·
Мама дочки-младенца
@littleonemorning I have done this so many times already. The outcome: my mom gets offended that we/he is still offended and he gets mad and says I am not putting this family first. My thing is, I feel like they are BOTH being unfair to me. They both put their own feelings in the way of how I feel and I am the single person who carried and birthed my baby.
Harley Quinn ·
Мама сына (1 год), беременна (16 нед.)
I think you need to sit down with you Mom and explain that you guys are still very upset about how she handled things at your wedding. With that said, it has still caused some feelings of anger towards her to the point where you have to question if she can’t “afford” to help pay for the wedding, then how can she “afford” these gifts? Remind her you know she is excited to be a grandma, but she has to not over-do it.
And be calm about the whole thing if you can, if she flips out just walk away and tell her you can talk about it later. Do the same thing with your husband. I understand where he is coming from, but it’s also not fair to your mom