I just want his arms wrapped around me one last time and hear words come out of his mouth that arent true "I love you".. I miss him so bad. My first love! My first relationship! He was many of my first and I know today isnt even the hardest day yet.. I literally hate that I love him so much.
@allycm, I'm feeling the same way maybe it would've hurt a little less 😞😞
@jadasweet0218 maybe. I thought i would be fine when i woke up and im just sitting here in tears...
@allycm, I thought the same thing last night but nothing is better or easier it still hurts 💔
@jadasweet0218 i just want the memories to go away.. His smelll.. Everything. I just feel so stuck right now.. I really love that man!! It hurts so bad because its just another man that used me and lied. Like all the others in my life. This shit hurts to know he could do that
@allycm, I can't even tell you how much I can relate to everything you're saying it's crazy because I'm going through the same exact thing the person you thought would be there no matter and then you find out they just like the rest 😞it hurts especially when u have so many memories and you really fell deeply in love with him it hurts trust me I've been crying since last night I was up until 5 almost 6 in the morning crying and then when I finally went to sleep I woke back up at 8 thinking maybe all I needed was to sleep it off and that it would be okay but I'm still crying and it's still not okay because I still love him I still miss him and I still want him but it's just not gonna work I guess 😞💔
@jadasweet0218 you took words right out of my mouth! 😭 and we did the same thing last night. Bc i was hurting so bad my friend came to pick me up and hangout and make me feel better but it didnt work i was stuck in my own head. Got home about 11:30 stayed up cleaned the house.. Cleaned the dog.. And sat in my bed and cried for what ot felt like hours. I couldnt sleep i feel asleep about 5:30 am and was up again at 8am. We give Someone are all and to get disrespected so bad. Like where did i go wrong? I feel like it's just easier to blame myself. Maybe the pain will go away alot faster? Idk i cant even change my homescreen photo of the family we were becoming.
@allycm, no don't blame yourself it's gonna hurt but always remember you were a good woman and it's his loss not yours no matter how much it hurts it's never your fault especially if u know you've done everything you can as a woman to keep him happy it's gonna hurt for a while I'm not sure how long but we're gonna be okay 😞💔😞
@allycm, honestly idk after last night and today im not sure if it should come back
@jadasweet0218 all he kept saying was im sorry.. Im sorry.. All i could say was dont be sorry. Everything will be okay! Mind you my daughter was right in front of us and didnt need to see her parents fight! He isnt gonna come back.. He feel in love with someone else a few months ago and was just scared to tell me!
@allycm, wow seriously he went and found someone else I didn't think it was like that let me just say this it's his loss and he's gonna feel so stupid when he looks up and sees you with someone else that's treating you better
@jadasweet0218 we broke up vack in last feb and thats when they were talking. He just never fully got rid of her i guess
@jadasweet0218 and in this town im not gonna find anyone everyone here is all the same. But im stuck here bc i cant leave with my daughter without his consent
@allycm, that's bs either way and you're pregnant again wtf is wrong with him jackass
@jadasweet0218 in the state of missouri he has to give permission for his daughter to leave state. And yes he is on the birth certificate
@jadasweet0218 not a chance. This is his way of keeping me around!! Everyone tells me i will bee able to move on but only he can be with soneone else not me. With his behavior no one will stick around
@allycm, he doesn't have to know that's how I felt with my first daughters dad
@jadasweet0218 he will try to take her from me i have to have no contact for three months in a different state and file custody there but if he files custody here im pretty much kidnapping and he will still be able to take her. I cant risk it. I wont. He is a good father. He just wasn't a very good SO!
@jadasweet0218 you moved out of state? From your childs father? And he was okay with it?
@allycm, he's not around much and he does really have a choice if I want to leave with my kid it's my kid so I'll do just that he can be upset but it's not much he can do about it
@jadasweet0218 the state will let you leave with your child? You wont get arrested?
@allycm, no he's not I wouldn't allow it even still then they can't arrest me for it
@jadasweet0218 well since he isnt on the birth certificate they cant do anything about it.
@jadasweet0218 im really thinking of not doing that with the second one. It seems only smart but if he wants to be a father why wont i let him. Idk just something to think about
@jadasweet0218 i filled out the papers last time and i will do it again..
Lisa Ferguson·
Мама сына (1 год)
Hang in there mama!