The up and downs of a relationship! Stressful and make you want to scream! When in our minds our mate should know that we are not super woman! Asking more of them can cause an argument I hate these rocky roads. Cause we as females get hurt cause we love so hard.
@lana30319, and he feels like he always offers to do stuff. However when he knows I have been at school and working all day, meanwhile he played golf, and he sees me upset and stressed out with a fussy baby he should offer to help in my eyes. Granted he does try sometimes, but he gives up pretty quick when jax wants me and keeps trying to come get to me. That's the problem, there isn't enough effort. He wants me to pass school so badly, yet I have zero time to get anything done or study. Plus, he wants to complain about me breastfeeding but he isn't going to go the extra mile and try to distract him and keep him from nursing. His only solution is to get up and drive him around in the middle of the night, which I'm not comfortable with. There are other ways of consoling him, it just takes more effort. I know a lot of this is probably just exaggerated bc of hormones and my emotions being all over the place but I can't help but feel this way. Then when we talk about it he makes me feel like a moron, and like I shouldn't be feeling this way because in his eyes everything is going perfect. Maybe because he gets to go and do as he pleases all the time and doesn't necessarily have to deal with it.
@babyjjsmommy, hey girl, message me if you want. Emotions are definitely playing a part in this, however, as I said in the other post, you need to have a sit down talk with him and have a good convo, especially with all y’all becoming a family. I told my husband that my son was just as much his as he is mine, I allowed him to help parent and discipline. If he wants an opinion, he needed to take on the task full on.... now, he did not choose this life right away, as I said, he was hesitant at first... it is a HUGE adjustment.... Lucas was about the same age as Jax when my husband and I got married. It’s tough for the stepdad, it’s not easy... heck, it’s tough for a bio dad.... my husband came home today and was tired from being at work till 8pm... the thing he forgets is that I work full time from home most days, so that I can take care of our youngest, who has medical issues... I AM TIRED TOO!!!! I have to juggle conference calls with an upset child who can’t breathe, I have to deal with trying to keep the house together... I am stuck in the house ALL DAY with a 10 month old and 3 dogs, up until the point that I pick up my 4 year old, who by the way doesn’t ever shut up 😂😂😂. I come home, feed Lucas, make sure Leo is good, make dinner, and often times have to go back to work just so I can finish what I wasn’t able to do during the day.... I’m writing all this as my husband is passed out beside me and my youngest is tossing and turning. I wish I could close my eyes, but there is no point, because I will have to be up in about an hour to refill my sons feed bag (my husband sleeps all night, and I’m up every 4 hours to refill our sons food). I don’t even know the last time I actually slept at night. I know it doesn’t help or make you feel better, but let’s just face it, women are stronger than men, if my husband did half of what I did he would probably be curled up in a fetal position in a padded room sometime! I know that sometimes having a conversation with them seems like it may only cause a fight, but to be fair, you can’t be upset until you ask him for help and he doesn’t do it.... example: my husband came Home at 8pm today, he is tired from work, but I am tired from work and being a fucking mom!!! After I put my 4 year old down, I went downstairs to get the baby and get him ready for bed. I get upstairs and have Leo almost ready, I ask my husband nicely to come upstairs.... 3 FUCKING times.... the 4th time I went downstairs and said, come upstairs... he got pissed off and said I was being rude.... NO, I’m not being rude, I’m pissed... I asked you to come upstairs and help, you said you would, and you didn’t... my exhaustion finally got to me and I broke down in tears. He told me I was “overreacting” and I said NO, I am exhausted... this is your child too and I NEED HELP!!!!! He came upstairs right after... sometimes they need to be TOLD what to do... not asked, it told! I know, I know... we shouldn’t have to tell them the obvious... well... they are men, and you all but have to spell out what you need them to do! Just try and take a deep breath, when you do talk to him, try to be factual and tell him how YOU feel, don’t attack him and tell him what he doesn’t do (men don’t respond well to that), just tell him what you need and how you feel when he doesn’t help. Communication is going to be key, the sooner you learn how to communicate with each other the better it will be. I only say this bc the way I used to communicate with my husband was not a way he could understand. I had to learn how to talk to him in a way that made sense to him. I was resistant for the longest time because I thought that I shouldn’t have to change the way I do something, just to make it easier for him, but I learned that every person has different ways that they communicate and understand. (Side note: I literally may place pillow over my husbands face right now... his snoring literally makes me so internally angry.... I know it shouldn’t, but I HATE how he can sleep so soundly, but manages to keep me awake every night). Like I said in my other post, we are women, and furthermore mothers, it’s in our nature to expect people to have common sense and to know when we need help... I mean we can tell when they need help... but, they are men, they are wired differently and to be honest, they know that if they don’t do it, we will... bc were women and that’s what we do! Your a great mom, you have accomplished a lot! Take pride in that! Your smart that you come here and vent! I’m always here if you ever want to talk! Believe me, my husband does dumb shit ALLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME!
@babyjjsmommy, one more example of how oblivious men are.... the other day while my husband, my oldest and I were eating dinner (our youngest was in the hospital at that time and I literally left the hospital to pick up my oldest and take him home for my husband to keep him at night. I was staying at the hospital). My 4 year old looked at me and said “mommy your face and eyes look bad, you look so tired”. My husband said, “mommy is tired, she has been doing a lot for everyone lately”. While I appreciated the “shoutout” I wanted to be like... yeah.... mommy HAS been doing everything!!!! Take your own hint and be more appreciate and helpful at times!!! Lol! Also, I now have ear plugs in and can still hear this mofo snoring... he gets mad when I kick him at night, but the man literally will stop breathing and or choke on his not breathing self!!! My bad for not only being supermom, but trying to save your life as well! 😂😂 Your nursing skills would come in handy at my house!
Wow! I have needed to talk with mine one on one. Yet every one says communication is the key. Yet which source of communication? Talking about the problems I have in my relationship with my ole man end up in one of us yelling at one another. That is not healthy for the kids! I have to push stuff on mine to get him to budge. I have gotten some improvement out of mine. But it took me being sarcastic! Finding a way to make him feel guilty about all I have to do. While he just work, gamble, and wash clothes. I had to have an "Fuck You I will just worry about me and my kids" attitude! Stopping what I am doing and act like I going to the store and leave him with the kids! So sit down and talking only worked for so long! We are taught that the man needs to feel like they are in charge and they are the heads. We are their supporters. No one every told me i had to carry the world on my shoulders and teach a man. We both work the same amount of hours every week. He has the girls on his two days off. My typical begining of the week is a nightmare. Pack a suite case to drive to my mom's to stay overnight so I can work. I have to drive 1h one way. Do stuff around her place for her and do her grocery shopping. When I do get the kids have to come home unpack. Cook. Get ready for work. Get them ready for bed. Organize their stuff so that he has a clue on what to do. Work. Grocery shop after work. And some other stuff I do in between like the budget and bills. Like I previously said I have gotten some improvement out of mine. I also had to with hold sex. And use sex like a reward when he helps out more!
marlena jones ·
Мама двоих (младенец)
The up and downs of a relationship! Stressful and make you want to scream! When in our minds our mate should know that we are not super woman! Asking more of them can cause an argument I hate these rocky roads. Cause we as females get hurt cause we love so hard.
babyjjsmommy·
Мама сына (1 год), беременна (11 нед.)
@lana30319, and he feels like he always offers to do stuff. However when he knows I have been at school and working all day, meanwhile he played golf, and he sees me upset and stressed out with a fussy baby he should offer to help in my eyes. Granted he does try sometimes, but he gives up pretty quick when jax wants me and keeps trying to come get to me. That's the problem, there isn't enough effort. He wants me to pass school so badly, yet I have zero time to get anything done or study. Plus, he wants to complain about me breastfeeding but he isn't going to go the extra mile and try to distract him and keep him from nursing. His only solution is to get up and drive him around in the middle of the night, which I'm not comfortable with. There are other ways of consoling him, it just takes more effort. I know a lot of this is probably just exaggerated bc of hormones and my emotions being all over the place but I can't help but feel this way. Then when we talk about it he makes me feel like a moron, and like I shouldn't be feeling this way because in his eyes everything is going perfect. Maybe because he gets to go and do as he pleases all the time and doesn't necessarily have to deal with it.
Camden·
@babyjjsmommy, hey girl, message me if you want. Emotions are definitely playing a part in this, however, as I said in the other post, you need to have a sit down talk with him and have a good convo, especially with all y’all becoming a family. I told my husband that my son was just as much his as he is mine, I allowed him to help parent and discipline. If he wants an opinion, he needed to take on the task full on.... now, he did not choose this life right away, as I said, he was hesitant at first... it is a HUGE adjustment.... Lucas was about the same age as Jax when my husband and I got married. It’s tough for the stepdad, it’s not easy... heck, it’s tough for a bio dad.... my husband came home today and was tired from being at work till 8pm... the thing he forgets is that I work full time from home most days, so that I can take care of our youngest, who has medical issues... I AM TIRED TOO!!!! I have to juggle conference calls with an upset child who can’t breathe, I have to deal with trying to keep the house together... I am stuck in the house ALL DAY with a 10 month old and 3 dogs, up until the point that I pick up my 4 year old, who by the way doesn’t ever shut up 😂😂😂. I come home, feed Lucas, make sure Leo is good, make dinner, and often times have to go back to work just so I can finish what I wasn’t able to do during the day.... I’m writing all this as my husband is passed out beside me and my youngest is tossing and turning. I wish I could close my eyes, but there is no point, because I will have to be up in about an hour to refill my sons feed bag (my husband sleeps all night, and I’m up every 4 hours to refill our sons food). I don’t even know the last time I actually slept at night. I know it doesn’t help or make you feel better, but let’s just face it, women are stronger than men, if my husband did half of what I did he would probably be curled up in a fetal position in a padded room sometime! I know that sometimes having a conversation with them seems like it may only cause a fight, but to be fair, you can’t be upset until you ask him for help and he doesn’t do it.... example: my husband came Home at 8pm today, he is tired from work, but I am tired from work and being a fucking mom!!! After I put my 4 year old down, I went downstairs to get the baby and get him ready for bed. I get upstairs and have Leo almost ready, I ask my husband nicely to come upstairs.... 3 FUCKING times.... the 4th time I went downstairs and said, come upstairs... he got pissed off and said I was being rude.... NO, I’m not being rude, I’m pissed... I asked you to come upstairs and help, you said you would, and you didn’t... my exhaustion finally got to me and I broke down in tears. He told me I was “overreacting” and I said NO, I am exhausted... this is your child too and I NEED HELP!!!!! He came upstairs right after... sometimes they need to be TOLD what to do... not asked, it told! I know, I know... we shouldn’t have to tell them the obvious... well... they are men, and you all but have to spell out what you need them to do! Just try and take a deep breath, when you do talk to him, try to be factual and tell him how YOU feel, don’t attack him and tell him what he doesn’t do (men don’t respond well to that), just tell him what you need and how you feel when he doesn’t help. Communication is going to be key, the sooner you learn how to communicate with each other the better it will be. I only say this bc the way I used to communicate with my husband was not a way he could understand. I had to learn how to talk to him in a way that made sense to him. I was resistant for the longest time because I thought that I shouldn’t have to change the way I do something, just to make it easier for him, but I learned that every person has different ways that they communicate and understand. (Side note: I literally may place pillow over my husbands face right now... his snoring literally makes me so internally angry.... I know it shouldn’t, but I HATE how he can sleep so soundly, but manages to keep me awake every night). Like I said in my other post, we are women, and furthermore mothers, it’s in our nature to expect people to have common sense and to know when we need help... I mean we can tell when they need help... but, they are men, they are wired differently and to be honest, they know that if they don’t do it, we will... bc were women and that’s what we do! Your a great mom, you have accomplished a lot! Take pride in that! Your smart that you come here and vent! I’m always here if you ever want to talk! Believe me, my husband does dumb shit ALLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME!
Camden·
@babyjjsmommy, one more example of how oblivious men are.... the other day while my husband, my oldest and I were eating dinner (our youngest was in the hospital at that time and I literally left the hospital to pick up my oldest and take him home for my husband to keep him at night. I was staying at the hospital). My 4 year old looked at me and said “mommy your face and eyes look bad, you look so tired”. My husband said, “mommy is tired, she has been doing a lot for everyone lately”. While I appreciated the “shoutout” I wanted to be like... yeah.... mommy HAS been doing everything!!!! Take your own hint and be more appreciate and helpful at times!!! Lol! Also, I now have ear plugs in and can still hear this mofo snoring... he gets mad when I kick him at night, but the man literally will stop breathing and or choke on his not breathing self!!! My bad for not only being supermom, but trying to save your life as well! 😂😂 Your nursing skills would come in handy at my house!
marlena jones ·
Мама двоих (младенец)
Wow! I have needed to talk with mine one on one. Yet every one says communication is the key. Yet which source of communication? Talking about the problems I have in my relationship with my ole man end up in one of us yelling at one another. That is not healthy for the kids! I have to push stuff on mine to get him to budge. I have gotten some improvement out of mine. But it took me being sarcastic! Finding a way to make him feel guilty about all I have to do. While he just work, gamble, and wash clothes. I had to have an "Fuck You I will just worry about me and my kids" attitude! Stopping what I am doing and act like I going to the store and leave him with the kids! So sit down and talking only worked for so long! We are taught that the man needs to feel like they are in charge and they are the heads. We are their supporters. No one every told me i had to carry the world on my shoulders and teach a man. We both work the same amount of hours every week. He has the girls on his two days off. My typical begining of the week is a nightmare. Pack a suite case to drive to my mom's to stay overnight so I can work. I have to drive 1h one way. Do stuff around her place for her and do her grocery shopping. When I do get the kids have to come home unpack. Cook. Get ready for work. Get them ready for bed. Organize their stuff so that he has a clue on what to do. Work. Grocery shop after work. And some other stuff I do in between like the budget and bills. Like I previously said I have gotten some improvement out of mine. I also had to with hold sex. And use sex like a reward when he helps out more!