I’ve been a little bit sad about my sex life lately it’s always in the dark it always starts out the…

I’ve been a little bit sad about my sex life lately it’s always in the dark it always starts out the same me begging for it then giving him head and then sex I never get Head in return and sex itself is once in a blue moon the positions are always the same I feel like I’m ugly during sex so that’s why he likes the lights off it’s been like this the whole relationship it’s a great relatiionship but I’ve come to realize I don’t know what I’m doing what I want or how to feel about it I know I’m way freakier than this I wanna be put on a leash and whipped and sometimes I wanna make sweet passionate love but for him it seems like it’s a job for and I don’t think he enjoys it as much as he use to he use to say nasty dirty things to me all the time during sex but now that’s slowly declined I feel unattractive but he says he’s been feeling insecure to because he hasn’t been in the gym and he does work every day of the week from 6:30-8:00. Am I just being selfish or insecure myself? I would confront him with this but I don’t wanna hurt his feelings I’ve done so before by asking why we don’t have sex often I just reallly really like sex even when I’m not horny I don’t even like getting eaten out but the thought that I taste good down there would make me feel amazing I don’t think I do though he took my virginity but now I’m starting to think I’m getting looser and I’m about to have his baby and I’m really scared that’s going to completely shadder our sex life forever which is one thing I love most about our relationship sex he’s great in bed but we just don’t experiment enough and I want change and uggggggghhg help how do I get him to want it more and how do I change things up a little bit I love him sooo much I just want to do dirty things to and with him?!?!!!!!