I just need a place to vent. I am two- three weeks away fr…
I just need a place to vent.
I am two- three weeks away from my due date and though I am trying to do everything I can (clean, cook, shop, bills and work my part time jobs). I got pulled out of full time work on 9/1 for being high risk, and there have been two hospitalizations since then.
My husband for the record was pushing for me to be pulled because of how bad my health was getting... but now that I am not "working" (I guess my private practice and private tutoring company mean nothing because it is only three days a week) and I am not bringing in my main paycheck - I am now made to feel like shit.
Basically I am reminded everyday how I don't do enough, that he does everything, and that he has to provide for everyone. Even tonight he gets in and is angry that he is the only one who can walk our dog at night, well, she is 75lbs and pulls and we live three flights up so I can't do it anymore for fear she will pull me down. Even though I worked this morning, and he came home to a clean place, his dinner made and his lunches for the rest of the week.
I am just so tired and feeling so low and now I feel like some worthless pos 😑He has just been so angry lately and this is the first time in my life (even for a short period of time) that I am not the actual breadwinner and have some physical limitations and it is freaking me out.
I am two- three weeks away from my due date and though I am trying to do everything I can (clean, cook, shop, bills and work my part time jobs). I got pulled out of full time work on 9/1 for being high risk, and there have been two hospitalizations since then.
My husband for the record was pushing for me to be pulled because of how bad my health was getting... but now that I am not "working" (I guess my private practice and private tutoring company mean nothing because it is only three days a week) and I am not bringing in my main paycheck - I am now made to feel like shit.
Basically I am reminded everyday how I don't do enough, that he does everything, and that he has to provide for everyone. Even tonight he gets in and is angry that he is the only one who can walk our dog at night, well, she is 75lbs and pulls and we live three flights up so I can't do it anymore for fear she will pull me down. Even though I worked this morning, and he came home to a clean place, his dinner made and his lunches for the rest of the week.
I am just so tired and feeling so low and now I feel like some worthless pos 😑He has just been so angry lately and this is the first time in my life (even for a short period of time) that I am not the actual breadwinner and have some physical limitations and it is freaking me out.
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— @autumnarrival17 glad he realized he was in the wrong.
Know that your doing alot right now as it is. Take the time to recognize that yourself and don't beat yourself up for not being able to work. Baby is almost here and it'll all be worth it.
I'm being a slacker today and taking the day off. Who cares what hubby mentioned yesterday lol it's not like I'll be able to relax and sit around all day since I still have things to do before baby arrives.
Have a great day hun!! ☺
— @gmartinez31, yes to all of this! I think for me the hardest transition has been I have always been a hard worker and independent in all ways, and if I had it my way I never would have cut my take home pay in half. It's just like he forgot these past few days that I am not home by choice and even though I am home I am still doing as much as I can for the household. I wish for one day we could trade bodies and he could try and see how much he could accomplish lol
At least he acknowledged he was wrong this morning and said he was sorry. Hopefully he goes back to himself by today. Otherwise I have no issue calling my bluff and going to my moms.
— @autumnarrival17 ughh men! I know exactly how you feel. My SO pays the rent here while I pay for food and utility bills. I'm also the one who does the shopping, cooks, cleans, and does the laundry. All he does is pretty much work come home, complain about being tired, does the dishes from time to time, and walks the dog at night.
Lately, I've been feeling so overwhelmed being that I'm still working full-time. I can't stand that he doesn't atleast try and help out around the house alittle more. Even on weekends when we are both home he's the one that gets to sleep in.
Yesterday I was feeling horrible and mentioned I may take the day off today and he called me a slacker. It's so frustrating trying to get through to him and sometimes I just ignore him and go on about my business. I took the day off from doing any house duties yesterday.. no cooking nothing. He was basically forced to go out to the market and fix himself meals.
I can't imagine what it'll be like when I decide to finally call it quits at work. For so many years I'm used to making my own money and getting up and going. The only advice I can give you let him know how you feel and have patience with him. Having a baby will be a huge transition for the both of you so it's something you'll both have to adapt to. I also like to take time to myself and reward myself when I feel like he doesn't appreciate me. I went out and got my nails done after all the errands I got done on Saturday then I told him lunch was on him lol I'm sometimes aggressive in telling him exactly like it is eventhough I wish he would just take charge and recognize everything I do for our household.
— @autumnarrival17, yes no couple is perfect believe I've gone thru my ups and downs but earlier in my pregnancy me and my husband would argue a lot about just dumb stuff and then I eventually I stopped letting it get to me and stressing me out because it was affecting my baby and right now that's all I'm worried about. Just communicate every time me and my husband argue I've learned to let him know it bothers me and I don't like it and things have to change. Hang in there girl it'll get better
— @queentero, we usually are, but I think for the first time we are very unbalanced. I am not exactly Betty-homemaker and he in general makes less money than I do. I think he is feeling the pressures that I normally have everyday about making it work and providing for our family - and now with our daughter coming so soon- he is cracking. I am not making excuses I am just calling his actions for what I see- but I said to him that I don't deserve it and if it continues I will gladly go stay with my mom and he can sort his own shit out.
— I'm really sorry, but your guys are a team, he's suppose to support and decision that occurs and his main concern should be protecting you and that life you are growing.
— @ashleym12.22.16, I have tried, he is aware- it has not changed.
— @autumnarrival17 talk to him about it.. Tell him how it makes you feel
— Maybe you should sit down with him and tell him how you feel... Men can be totally unaware at times!!! I pray that he will check his attitude!
— @sweetpea6, thank you I appreciate it, and what is worse is this is completely out of character for him entirely - so when he acts like this is completely takes me by surprise and I wind up a crying mess - it has just been becoming this norm now and I am just so done 😑
— Wow. Just wow. You definitely aren't the pos in this situation darling.
— Sorry he is treating u that wsy u dnt deserve that